afraidofheights

I was newly diagnosed with GHSV 2, almost a month ago, and I'm scared I may have spread it to other parts of my body. My first outbreak was so indescribably painful, and the onslaught of symptoms was so slow I had never considered the possibility of having contracted herpes. I also didn't know much about it and carelessly touched myself during my first outbreak to check myself in the mirror several times--though I always washed my hands afterwards. I've been on valtrex ever since my diagnosis and after about a week the sores healed and my symptoms subsided. However, about two weeks ago I began to notice small bumps developing all over my hands, on my palms, fingers and wrists. They also began to appear on my feet. About a week after these bumps appeared I noticed a rash under my breasts, underneath my armpits, and the inside of my elbows. Where I live it is basically impossible to get an appointment with a doctor quickly. I made an appointment with a dermatologist but it's in February. I doubt urgent care would be able to help me since they didn't during my first outbreak. The bumps are painless and have not broken open at all. At times my palms itch but that's pretty much it. It is worth mentioning that I have experienced consistent rashes since I was a kid, mostly due to soaps with fragrances and grass. My father also has psoriasis. I'm hoping that this is just a case of stress-induced eczema or some type of stress rash... I've been living in perpetual anxiety since my diagnosis both because of it and other factors that have exacerbated my mental health symptoms. I know whitlow is is extremely rare but I think my immune system is shot from having had COVID several times. I guess I don't really have a question because I can't do anything about this until I'm able to see a doctor. The stress of having potentially spread HSV to my hands and other parts of my body is eating me alive. I'm already struggling to accept the fact that this is life-long, and that I don't know when I'll feel brave and okay enough to have sex again because of the heavy shame I feel. I don't know what I'll do if I accidentally spread it to my hands because I didn't know any better. Having it on my genitals is hard enough, but my hands? I know it's not true but it really feels like nobody will ever want me again. I had tried coping with the diagnosis by envisioning other forms of intimacy that don't include penetration, but the thought of not being able to hold a potential lover's hand directly is destroying me beyond belief. I hope I'm just overthinking and that it's nothing because I don't know how I'll be able to cope with this.