herpaderp123

We've been texting a bit here and there. She wants to talk more eventually but isn't ready. For those who have been in this situation, how much info do you dump on them. I mostly just told her what I did (take antivirals) to mitigate risk and updates on my current symptoms. I'm kind of just giving her space and letting her come to me questions. I mean all the info is online so I figured I'd just let her parse through it herself. But should I be offering more? Ie telling her how common it is, how CDC doesn't recommend testing, etc.?

@chapstick1520She hasn't reached out. I'm giving her plenty of space. If she wants nothing to do with me, I'll respect it. Knowing her, she may have been okay with it but it's too late now. Live and learn.

@Farishta Yes we talked by text a little bit. I answered her questions and apologized multiple times. Thanks.

Quick update. I just got off the phone. She is understandably upset. Pretty short call. I didn't sugar coat anything. Just told her the truth. Admitted I lied. Last thing she said was "whoa, I gotta go" I feel like shit. Hopefully I didn't give it to her. Thank you @mr_hopp for guiding me to do the right thing. It was really hard but I think I'm glad I did it. Any kind words you guys have would be greatly appreciated. I really fucked up this time but can't do anything about it now. I'm just going to have to move forward.

Hi Mr_hopp, Thank you for your sincere reply. I really appreciate that you didn't judge me or make me feel less than. I will probably call her tonight or tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Hey everyone, I'm going to be brutally honest here as I trust this is a no judgment zone. I'm in a situation where I feel like I know what I should do but I just need some support or advice. So I used to always disclose my HSV2 status but I haven't been this past year. I have some friends who never disclose and I guess I wanted to see what that was like. I also wasn't looking for anything serious so that was also part of my decision. Honestly, it was a nice change. Anyway, I've been having a romantic stint with my 1st high school girlfriend. We're in our 30s now. She lives in Canada and I live in the United States and we've been rendezvousing in various cities. Serious romcom stuff haha. Needless to say, we've been hooking up. She came to visit me this past week and we were having sex every night. No condom but I'm on anti-virals. On the 5th day of her visit (day before yesterday) I woke up with an "outbreak". To be honest, I'm not even sure if it's an outbreak. It was pretty small and easily could've been a friction burn or something. But regardless I was worried. Made up some excuse about how I wasn't feeling well and didn't have sex for the rest of her trip. Just dropped her off at the airport this morning. So I feel like shit. I can tell she trusts and thinks very highly of me but I've obviously broken that trust. Given the "outbreak", it's probably likely that I exposed her. I didn't have the balls to tell her while she was here cause I figured she was staying with me and I still had to drop her off and maybe it wasn't worth mentioning because it takes two weeks before testing works anyways. Bad or good decision? I have no idea. One question I ask myself is would I be feeling this way if I didn't have the outbreak? The likely answer is no if I'm honest. I know that's immoral but it's also the truth. As much as I like her, I know there isn't any true long term compatibility for me to pursue something beyond casual. Regardless, I feel like I should tell her so she can take the appropriate steps to get tested. I'd have to do it over the phone obviously. My preference would be to be 100% honest about the whole situation but does anyone ever worry about legal action being taken against them? Anytime I'm on reddit and someone admits they didn't disclose the comments are flooded with advice to take legal action. There was even a case recently where someone got sued for 900,000 dollars. One thing I've considered is just telling her I tested positive on a routine check up after she left, having had multiple partners recently, and that she should thereby get checked out. Pretty cowardly but better than getting sued. Or I could do nothing and wait to see if she contacts me regarding an outbreak. Even more immoral but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t cross my mind. Let me say this. I don't think I'm a bad person but I acknowledge I've made some ethically questionable decisions. It was nice to not disclose for this past year but I can also see that it can actually complicate things vs make them easier now. The whole topic of disclosure is pretty gray in my opinion but I’m now in a situation where things are a little more black and white. So what is your input/advice? Please don’t shame me or put me down. It isn’t helpful. I decided to be insanely honest in this post and include my, I guess you could say, darker thoughts that we are all prone to having. I am going to tell her in all likelihood but could use support or advice on how I should go about it as well as mindset. I acknowledge that I can’t control her reaction and that she truly does have every right to want to not have anything to do with me. Has anyone ever been in a similar situation? Thanks.