oldguy

Thank you Mr. Hopp - I really needed to hear that. Every day the shame comes up but I continue to think of it in ways I learned here. The shame is fading as I think differently about Herpes.

Thank you for the link to the video and the other posts. It is helpful. Soon I will find out if the woman I have been dating but never had sex with will want to be intimate or go to the friend zone. We decided to get tested before having sex and it led to my discovering that I'm HSV2 positive. I never had an outbreak so I didn't know I was positive until 66 years old. I have no idea when I got it or who gave it to me. I've never heard from anyone accusing me of passing it on, I hope I never do. That would be hard to bear. I hope she and I can find ways to be intimate within her capacity for risk taking. If we end up in the friend zone then I guess I will check out the online dating site for people with herpes. Does anyone have experience with one of those sites and can you elaborate on what they are like? How do they work and maintain anonymity? Thank you

Thank you Mr_Hopp. Those were much needed confirmations of what I read. The literature is not always so concise as you have been. You hit the spot... hmm There have been other helpful perspectives I've found in learning about herpes and one is "it (herpes) is a manageable skin disease". That may have been from this site as well. The stigmatization of herpes deeply affected me at first and slowly it is dissipating. It helps that my girlfriend is willing to make a go of it with me. She did a lot of reading as well. She is still fearful of intimacy and if the situation were reversed I might be too. One never knows until they are in the situation themselves. So I will be patient. Being asymptomatic, never having had an outbreak, we don't know where or when herpes will appear. I'm taking the suppressant and that may delay or suppress an outbreak. I'm hoping the statistic you cited of 2.5% risk holds some sway with her. At least if I knew it was genital herpes for sure and not oral herpes, we could have oral sex. The stat for having HSV2 orally is also very low risk. It helps me to write about my concerns in this forum. So thanks for being here.

Thank you Mr. Hopp and NerdP423, The Western Blot test is expensive! I had the IgG test and my value was 8.0. Looking into that meaning of that value determined that I have been "exposed to the virus at some point". Not very helpful. My understanding is that there is no way to determine if one has oral or genital herpes, bothy being HSV2, until they experience a breakout is that correct? So if I had a sore in my mouth that was swabbed and tested positive for HSV2, does that mean I came in contact with a herpes sore on a vagina? Or could it also mean she was asymptomatic but shedding at the time? I'm climbing my girlfriend's wall of fear hoping to allay some of it. My therapist informed me there are things we can do with minimal risk, I get that, but she is still quite put off by the notion of risk to herself. Thanks for being here in this safe space! Appreciatively, Oldguy

A lovely woman who I have fallen in love with recommended we get tested before having sex. We both did. She was negative for everything, to my complete surprise I came back with antibodies for HSV 2 in my system. I've never had an outbreak. I had a pea size bubble in my mouth that burst and came back then burst again. I haven't had it since February. It was an annoyance but not a sore per say. It could be something else, I just don't know. I've only kissed my girlfriend on the lips, pecks really. She went back to get tested again after I showed her the results of my test. I found this site, the CDC, NIH, and used Google to find out more about this disease. I read in this forum that it is pointless in trying to figure out who gave it to me. No one from my past has ever contacted me about it. I've had 3 girlfriends in the last 5 years. I'm a 66 year old man. Adrial's videos are encouraging. I think it will take time for me to adjust to this life sentence. I'm meeting with a therapist on BetterHelp Monday. I hope my girlfriend does not have it. Is French kissing ok with herpes 2? I watched the Dr Leone video and he said oral sex was ok. I'm taking the suppression drug Valocyclovir 500 mg I hope and pray she doesn't have it. It seems unlikely from pecks. Also, I hope she decides to give us a try. I understand if she would not want to. I sent her the PDFs from HOpportunity. I don't know what she's thinking. Waiting for her result. OMG, what a life!