bjburdette

@dancer I know you were, it's not your fault that someone decided to have an attitude. @amillionthings Yeah, I'm feeling alright. I still haven't told him yet.... So hard to come up with the courage.

Hey, I posted on this website to get support. Not watch two people debate or politely insult one another.

It's okay, Dancer, although his wording might have been a bit blunt. I don't take it personally. I DO know how to hook guys. I'm a very sexual person. I get flirted with constantly, but nonetheless I still choose him and no one else. I realize that he's old enough to be my father, but we still manage to get along most of the time. I've just never had any connection to guys my age. I dated a 35-year old when I was 18 and an on-and-off again fling about a few years ago with a man who is now 60. I'm actually still very good friends with the 60-year old, and he was the one who introduced me to the guy I'm dating now. I know that it would be more REASONABLE to date a man closer to my age, but it's not what attracts me. Maybe one day I will meet a younger man who woos me...I'm open to possibilities. Also: He in no way sees me as "pure" or even close to "virgin"...I told him before we first started dating that I've been with about 50 partners while he's only been with about 30. He still gets a bit queasy sometimes when he thinks of how many people I've been with. I think his logic in dating me is more that a younger woman is more attractive, less bitter about life, less judgmental, etc. He was married for 2 years to a woman who was his age and she was a complete nightmare (from what he has said, at least) and had an affair. He was divorced ten years ago. He now makes his money by buying and selling on EBay, since it opens up his schedule for taking care of his 88-year old father.... All things that a lot of women his age have looked down upon, but I've never judged him for.

Thank you so much for your detailed response - It really means a lot. I was looking all over for some kind of support and was really happy to come across this site. Honestly, I don't think I'm with him because I think I can't get anyone else - I did that with my last relationship and it really sucked. HE at least knew I had herpes, though. This current guy is funny and makes me laugh (when he's not joking about STDs), he knows how to do just about anything, he is usually a gentleman (again, when he's not throwing around herpes jokes), and he's also amazing in the bedroom. I was even pretty hesitant to be in a relationship with him at first, but I ended up falling pretty hard. I even said to him yesterday that I thought that Family Guy episode was rude and tasteless and his response was (jokingly) "probably because it hit home too hard." He noticed a pimple on his arm when we went over to our friends' house and said, "See, someone gave me herpes!" as he gestured to me. I'm not trying to bash him or anything....he really is a good person who goes out of his way for everyone, but he is a very black-and-white kind of guy who has no sympathy for most people. He thinks that if someone does something risky, they should just suffer the consequences. I do love him, but I know that in the end, SOMETHING has to give. We get along really well most of the time, but I often find that we are not on the same page. Sometimes I feel like he isn't really taking my feelings into account like he was when we first started dated. I hate it when men will try uber hard before you're exclusive, and then basically stop trying once they have you. I would be willing to live with the small stuff - i.e. him being OCD, being sarcastic, not liking to take me out very often - but his sensitivity needs to change. I realise that YES, I did get this disease (still don't know who I got it from) by sleeping around a lot but that doesn't mean I am worth less than someone who doesn't have herpes. I like dating older people because they are more mature, experienced, etc....but sometimes he acts like he's 12. We have 26 years between us and sometimes I feel like I'm the older one.

I have a severe dilemma. I am 22 and have been dating my 48-year old boyfriend for 1.5 years. When we first started messing around I did not tell him that I have herpes. I was diagnosed with HSV2 in 2011. I was afraid that he would want nothing to do with me and I did not think that we would end up having a serious relationship. It sounds horrible and selfish - I know. I have been having a lot of trouble lately dealing with the fact that he still doesn't know. I make sure that we don't have sex while I'm having an outbreak. What bothers me too is that he is always joking around about herpes and when talking about STDs he has actually said "If you'd told me on our first date that you had an STD, I would have just drove you back home and that would have been it." It breaks my heart when he says things like that because I know that he could never accept me if he knew. Two nights ago we were watching a new episode of "Family Guy" where Brian gives Stewie herpes and they both have massive sores. My boyfriend was laughing his ass off and I just sat there, ashen-faced. Every time I even come close to telling him, I just get so scared. I am afraid of losing him. But I know that if I tell him, he will be disgusted by me both for having herpes and for hiding it from him for so long. He is such a great guy, but we have trust issues already - not because of anything I've done while with him, but because he was cheated on by several of his previous girlfriends and I also have a crazy sexual history which I told him about. It's been killing me, especially recently, that I am hiding this from him. I feel horrible. It is hard enough dealing with the stigma that comes with herpes.