Tangerine

I was diagnosed with HSV-1 in November of 2013, and I've had two outbreaks. One was the first one that lasted a couple of weeks ( no meds) and the second one was about four to five months later. That one was much more mild and lasted less than a week. I was on acyclovir three times a day for that one though. Since then I've had no issues (that was in March). I also recommend using epsom salts in the bath, dumped right between your legs. That seems to dry up the sores a lot more. Hope this helps!

Hi guys. Thanks for the input. @New_Moon and @WCSDancer (and especially to New_Moon), I absolutely did not mean to stigmatize HSV2 more than HSV1, but HSV1 IS less aggressive. I used to post under ClementineK, and Dancer herself told me that it was indeed less likely to pass it on, and that the risk is less than with HSV2. I 100% understand that it is still transmissible, but I don't think it's necessarily stigmatizing to explain the reality of my own infection being "better" or less risky because it objectively is. I never told my partner that he wouldn't get it; I told him that the risk was less than if I had HSV2. I hope that doesn't come across as being insensitive, because I don't mean to be, and I sympathize with anybody that has the H regardless of type. Regarding disclosure, I recognize that I expressed a very unpopular opinion. I think a part of me is still angry at having the H and I'm having some trouble dealing with it. I'm mad that I have this thing that doesn't currently cause any symptoms and I still have to have "the talk." I think what irks me most is that I was a risky sex-haver when I was younger and escaped unscathed, but I contracted the H in a committed long-term relationship after I had "reformed." It seems unfair. But I do agree that disclosure is best, and I would not want my agency taken from me if I were in the opposite seat. @Thisismenow, I will take the selfish and cowardly, because I know I was, but I completely disagree that having an informed partner reduces transmission. How is this possible? If I have sex with an un-informed partner and use a condom, is he more likely to get the H than somebody who is informed and uses a condom? The only difference here is that the guy in the second scenario has a choice, and I agree that that is important. I am beyond sorry that you were deceived and I feel bad that I could have done the same thing to my partner. That's why I came here for help. I can understand tough love, but the judgment here has been a little rough. I have good intentions and I'm trying to deal with my condition as best I can.

Thank you both. Dancer, I did need that bit of tough love because I felt like what I did was justified, but it wasn't. I had the conversation with him tonight, and it went pretty well. He was (in his words) disappointed, but not angry with me. I feel much better about myself now that I've come clean, and things seem to be okay with us. Time will tell I guess. I think I'm also lucky that I have HSV1, not HSV2, so I can always say "I have herpes... BUT it's not as bad as you think!" I still have complicated feelings about casual disclosure though. While I don't think I would wish this on anyone, everyone here characterizes the H as a minor annoyance (which I believe it is). Is that any different from having a sore throat and kissing somebody? I agree that integrity is important, Dancer, I do. But if you take appropriate precautions, is it always necessary to disclose?

Hi guys. I feel like a bad community member, because I only come here when I'm having issues with the H, and I'm sorry for that. But I have a dilemma. I have had genital HSV1 since last November with two outbreaks (the primary and one about five months later). After being in a committed relationship for a while this spring, I became single, and I ended up hooking up with someone that I met online last week. We had sex (with a condom), but I didn't tell him I had herpes, and I feel awful. We've hung out once since then without having sex, and I think I might be interested in continuing a relationship with this guy. Of course, the problem is that I need to disclose to him if we're going to keep seeing each other, and I'm really scared that he's going to be angry/run away when I do disclose to him. Obviously, I should have had the talk before it was ever an issue. I really don't think that I put him at risk because a.) I have HSV1 and others have told me there that it's not nearly as aggressive in terms of shedding and b.) we did use protection. I know that's not an excuse but I really would not have had sex with him if I thought I would spread it to him. I just got caught up in the heat of the moment, and the disclosure never happened. I also know this isn't an excuse, but I was on a date the week prior and that guy and I were exchanging online dating horror stories. His was that somebody disclosed to him immediately and he thought it was hilariously gross and wrote her off. Obviously, I didn't see that guy again, but it freaked me out. So, how do I do this? Over the phone? In person? I had a "great" idea of waiting until my next outbreak and pretending it was new but I can't do that. Any advice?