1freakedlady

Just like everyone else here I found out I have herpes. Joy. The first outbreak wasnt too bad although it was very painful down there for a few days. My doctor gave me Lidocaine which helped relieve pain a lot and killed the itching. I am having another side effect, cramping muscles. Ive had to go to the hospital 3 times for it now. Excruciating pain in my neck and shoulders and upper back. Spasms and knots so large the doctor can see them without touching me. That sucks more than the painful you know. Im can cope I have herpes. Yeah its not the end of the world. Ive been with the same man for almost 18 years. We are sure we both have it, dont need to know who gave it to who because it doesnt matter. He has no problem with it, he said he doesnt care if he has it, if he breaks out then he will just deal with it etc. So great, he has no issues at all. Its ME who has the issues. I am scared Im going to itch in the middle of the night or something and then touch my eyes and get it there. Or if I touch somewhere else Ill somehow spread it. Im scared to have sex. Even though my husband doesnt care and knows he most likely has it, Im still worried about having sex. Like maybe Ill make it spread, or maybe he will get type 2 somewhere in his mouth or something. I just cant stop thinking about it and I cant seem to get passed it so I can have sex again. Let me just say that I have a list of medical issues already. And yes Im OCD so that doesnt help my situation either. I just want to get past this. Its been 3 weeks since I had my first outbreak and Im still scared to make love to my husband and thats just not right.