Snowy123

Yes definitely.. Get your confidence back and there will be no stopping you. Don't let it define you and you'll be fine. It took me a while to get the confindence to feel able to be with someone and tell them. But I tell you what, it's quite liberating telling someone. Like it actually makes me feel better that they are still into me, regardless..they like me that much they don't even care about it. And that's how it should be. Keep us posted.. Sending hugs xxx

I'm really happy for you. I am in the same situation as you. Just over a year ago found out I had HSV2 and did the same, tried to stay with my partner who gave it to me, because I feared I would never find anyone. But now I have found the perfect man, I had the conversation with him a few days ago and he was so supportive towards me. He just looked me in the eyes and said "this doesn't change anything, please stop worrying" it makes me cry thinking about it. Happy tears though. But I was so scared and my heart was pounding. To have someone put you at ease like that was amazing. He was grateful I was honest with him and said it made him like me even more. So anyone who is worried of disclosing. Just remember if they really like you and you are important to them, then nothing will stand in their way of being with you.

Hey strongsoul, your story has brought me to tears. I think I know deep down in my heart that things aren't right between us. I remember when he told me that he had given me the virus, I had the black out feeling too, it was like my whole world caved in. One of my first thoughts was I'm trapped with him now, and I can't meet anyone else because of how ashamed I feel. I can't even tell my mum, I want to, but I'm worried of everyone's reaction. I know it's not a life ruining condition and I still have my life ahead of me. But why do I feel so trapped and lonely. I keep holding on thinking this will work, thinking we both have the same condition and we can be together but I know that's not a good enough reason to stay with each other if everything else is falling apart. I do need to put myself first! It's just so hard. Everyone is so nice on this forum. I really hope one day I can be a support to someone. Thank you for your support. Xx

Also thank you willow for the video, made me feel a bit more positive.

Thank you so much for your kind words. I did go and get tested for all other STD's because i needed to know for sure that there was nothing else he was hiding from me. So I know I'm all clear from everything else and she said that they don't test for herpes but she said when I have a breakout to come back and she can let me know for sure. Although I'm pretty sure that I have it. Regarding the therapy, he's having sessions alone and his therapist said that he needs a few more sessions alone before we have sessions together. I think you're right, regarding the breach of trust, I'm really hoping we can rebuild and move forward. It's just really hard at the moment. Thank you again for your support, it's great having someone to talk to. I don't feel so alone. :-)

Thank you for your post willow, I guess it's something that over time I will just accept. My partner has had about 8 years to accept it, I have only know about this and research about it all in the last month. I still feel embarrassed about it, and haven't told anyone. That's why I'm glad I found this site so I can talk to other people in the same situation. I try to talk to him about it all but where he is suffering with depression it's very hard to bring it up. He is having counselling (for various other things) and I know he does feel terrible for keeping this a secret from me. But still doesn't change how I feel. It's just going to take a while I guess for me to accept. Which I seem to feel is a big part in moving on and not letting it take over my life. But that's easier said than done isn't it?

For the last few months my boyfriend and I haven't been getting along, he's has been suffering with depression for a long time and after arguments and not getting anyway, he suddenly told me out of the blue that when he was with his ex-girlfriend, she cheated on him and gave him herpes. Now after we have been together nearly 7 years I've only just found out. I feel so betrayed, and can't believe he never told me. I haven't been tested for herpes. But I know I've had outbreaks, reason I never went to doctors was because I had shingles a few times and when I had an outbreak I thought it might of been that, and just brushed it aside. Since finding out about it, I've had a few outbreaks, maybe it's because I've been thinking about it lots and been worrying. After reading up about the struggle people have with having "the conversation" I can see it must of been hard. But I can't help but be mad at him all this time he's known and never told me. I know there is nothing that can be done about it. I have it now. I want to be able to not let it take over my life. I feel so confused, It's heartbreaking that the person I love so much could lie to me all this time about something so important. Has anybody else been kept in the dark about it?