roxycuvee

@WCSDancer2010 Thank you for your advice. I feel like a real a**hole for taking that decision away from him. I still feel terrible about it. I also do understand the risk with the shedding and have posted another discussion so that I can compare with other people... http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/3267/confused-cannot-figure-out-triggers-tingling#Item_1 This is also why I asked him to get himself tested and I think I need to push that issue first and foremost. I did download those books and will certainly pass the literature onto him. I wanted to tell him to discuss it with his doctor too, but I feel like my doctor(s) downplayed the whole thing too much so I dunno if that is a good idea. I know I messed up, but this situation really frustrates me and almost makes me feel like I should just forget about the whole thing because I am not good enough... And the worst part about this? I went out with a guy instead of him at some point when we were young and dumb, and that's who passed this along to me. Biggest mistake of my life for many reasons. Sorry, I'm being dramatic, but I still have quite a bit of regret / anger and have lost soo much confidence because of this situation. I still feel like a walking disease sometimes.

So I've had this thing for like 5 or 6 years and I still don't get it. I have OBs every once in awhile, and when I do they're mild, like 1 sore on my butt. I cannot however figure out my triggers? I feel like I get the tingles often, and don't know if it's the herpes or me being paranoid. I try to get rest, work out, eat right and generally take good care of myself... and I try not to smoke or drink a lot, but I cannot find a rhyme or reason to this. It seems like the more I think about it or try to do things to curb it, the more it bothers me. I went through a very stressful 3 months where my mother was ill and passing away, and I barely ate or slept, and never had any symptoms. Now I work out regularly and eat right and have tried to cut smoking out, and I get the tingles. WTF?! Also, I take valacyclovir, and my doctor told me not to take the medication for suppression because I don't get enough OBs a year to warrant it... But I don't feel right not taking it if I'm with someone, so I take it anyway. But... I had an allergic reaction to the valacyclovir last week and now I am scared to take it. I got a bad rash on my butt and thighs and woke up in a sweat feeling hotter than hell the other night. So I stopped taking it. I am going to go to planned parenthood this week and see if anyone can provide me any insight into this, but I was hoping that someone here could give me some advice as well. My OB/GYN stold me the following... -Don't worry about it. A lot of people have this and it isn't a big deal. -Just stay protected and you'll be fine. It isn't super easy to pass. -She also mentioned that I had to stop being paranoid because it wasn't super easy to pass it along if I was protected. That it had to enter through broken skin, but things I have been reading on the net contradict that so now I am paranoid. What if I am shedding and don't know it? I have tried some natural things as well... I have tried lysine and vitamin C for outbreaks, and I didn't feel like it was helping. Propolis seems to help sores heal faster for me. And I have also been taking reishi mushrooms to help my immune system stay in check. I just switched to a tincture instead of capsules and I feel like it helps my system. So fill me in... How do you know you're getting an outbreak? What kind of things do you feel? And what kind of things do you do that work to shorten the healing time? Do you feel like lysine and zinc supplements daily help? And how do I know that my tingles are from herpes and not paranoia. And if I have the tingles, I shouldn't be having sex correct? But what about oral? I have a really hard time being comfortable sexually because I guess I'm not entirely comfortable with this situation and don't want to put anyone in harms way. So if I get married I have to wear condoms FOREVER? How do I have children? Or how can I be 100% sure that I am ok to have unprotected sex with a husband or serious mate? Can I hear some stories from some long term relationships. Were you able to stay together without passing the herpes along? It's a shame they don't have an instant swab you can do to see if it's active or something. I'm going to keep rooting for a cure, but until then... I need you lovely people to tell me simple things to make me more comfortable with myself so I can make someone else more comfortable with me.

I messed up big time and need advice about how to handle the situation... I have a close male friend who I have known for almost 20 years. We met in high school and we've had a thing for each over on and off since then. I always kind of thought I'd end up with him and compared everyone I dated to him but I was always hesitant about ruining our friendship... Then I found out I had herpes about 5 or 6 years ago, and I had randomly heard him make some negative comments about STDs and such in passing, so I just kind of gave up on the idea up because he's pretty dramatic and a germa-phobe and I thought that he thought that I wasn't going to be good enough for him. Well fast forward to last fall... All the tension finally gave way and we started spending a lot of time together and becoming intimate... And I wanted to tell him about my situation, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was sooo scared that he would reject me. I could handle that kind of rejection from a stranger, but from him... it would have killed me. I know that's not a valid excuse, but essentially I was terrified of losing him after we had finally gotten to a point that I had wanted for sooooooo long. Anyway, we started sleeping together, protected, and it was wonderful. I have had a really hard time enjoying sex and for once I wasn't being paranoid about the herpes, I was just concerned with the present moment... And it felt sooo good to not have to deal with the situation. I mean I thought about it after the fact, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I kept putting off telling him and when I finally did, he freaked out. Like he just went silent and didn't speak to me for almost a week. After he kind of got over it he said he had been really angry with me. Which I understood, but I thought he was over-reacting… and so did some of his friends. We have a lot of mutual friends and I late found out that he had brought the situation up to one of them, who discussed it with her boyfriend and etc… At first I was really pissed that he was discussing my personal business, but then I thought about it and if the tables had been turned I would have wanted to discuss the situation with my friends too, so I get it… And it really helped that his friends yelled at him and told him he was making a big deal about nothing. I still cannot believe how poorly I handled this. I care about this man more than any other and I did not act the part, at all. We talked briefly about it. I assured him that I would never put him in harm’s way (even though I just kind of did) and gave him a rundown of how it’s easier for a woman to be exposed than a man and that I hadn’t had any outbreaks or symptoms when we were together and that he couldn’t contract the virus from simply touching me. He said that he didn’t really know much about it so I said he should get tested because he could have already had it without knowing. I don’t believe he has been tested yet, but he does need to. Recently after that, I left town for a bit and will be returning soon. I have visited with and have been communicating with this gentlemen, and things have been fine for the most part and we have talked about the possibility of pursing something together when I return. So if that does happen, what am I supposed to do to earn trust points or how do I handle discussing this situation after the fact since I didn’t do a good job of it to begin with. I mean we’ve been intimate since then so he might be ok with it, but it needs to be discussed. Do I send him some literature? What do I do? And, I'm totally in love with him, like a lot.