Chapstickchaos

Oh yes, he is definitely getting tested. I believe next week. Definitely going to be taking precautions but because of the distance I probably won't even see him until after he gets tested. I honestly think he understands it more than I do.

I do not know which type it is yet, I am trying to get an appointment to find that out ASAP. I am pretty sure my bf didn't give it to me, plus he has never had any cold sores or anything. I honestly am almost positive that I know who I got it from, which is why I think it laid dormant for 3 years (it was 3 not 4, not sure what happened when I was typing that.) I definitely could have chosen a better way to say a lot of what I said in my original post, I am not the best at explaining myself at times and was still rather worked up when I posted it, And I apologize. I have a lot of learning when it comes to the positive way of talking about H, until I found this site I had never heard anyone talk positively about it. I finally got to see my bf today (there's a bit of distance between us so I hadn't seen him since my OB), so I finally got to talk to him about it face to face. He told me that his best friend got H while he was in high school and they did tons of research on it after he found out, so he knows a lot about it. Knowing that he is so supportive and understanding and seeing that he doesn't look at me any differently helped me realize that I am not any different than I was before. I am still me. I was so upset, confused, and so busy worrying about everything, I hadn't let myself relax and try to accept it. He finally just stopped me and said, "You are overthinking this, and you're making it a bigger deal than it actually is." He couldn't have been more right, I naturally over think everything that happens, causing myself more harm than good. After talking to him today, I am a lot more at ease.

I've never looked at it as being dirty, nor have I felt dirty, I guess I just said it that way because that's how I've always heard it. Hopefully no one takes offense to that, it was an honest mistake and I apologize.

My name is Raychael, I am 23 and I have been diabetic for 12 years. After spending the weekend in horrible pain with two trips to urgent care and being told that I just had a yeast infection, I was diagnosed with herpes yesterday. I am heartbroken. I am still trying to accept this and learn as much as I can. I had a bad feeling that I had "H" from what I had seen online, and I was terrified. I was very lucky that my parents were so understanding, considering the fact that I come from a very religious family. The first thing that popped in my mind was my boyfriend, we have been together for 11 months and when we first got together we had a long conversation about STD/STI's. I've been tested twice and told them to test for everything, both times I came back clean. Unfortunately I have learned in the last couple days that they don't test for "H" unless you specifically ask for it. I thought for sure he would leave me, I thought "I just won't tell him so he won't leave, I'll just tell him that it's just an infection." As I was thinking that my phone rang, he was so worried because he knew I had an appointment and I hadn't told him anything about it, I couldn't lie to him so I just told him. He wasn't happy but he said that he cared to much about me to leave me over that and that we would work through this. I care about him so much, I am so scared that I have passed it to him because I didn't know I had it. I actually think that I got it almost 4 years ago and it has laid dormant until Wednesday night. It would kill me if I found out that I did that to him. I went 4 days not knowing it was "H" and I have read that it can spread and I think I might have it under my fingernail as well. I feel so disappointed and I feel tainted. I know that everything will be okay, I just have so much running through my mind and I'm scared. I am just so thankful that I stumbled upon this website. Thank you for reading, Ray