KLB

Terri Warren is a leading herpes expert and she has said you cannot shed from the butt or thighs unless there is a sore present. Skin is too thick. But you can shed asymptomatically from the genital area.

I have already posted a few times how I am seeing someone. We work together but live in different states. We have a work trip coming up tomorrow and plan to sleep together for the first time. I haven't disclosed yet. :( I know....I should have done it a long time ago but the time is here and I'm starting to panic. To be honest, until I found this site and started doing more research on H, I didn't realize it could be contagious despite meds. I have been with the same H+ person for 18 years and have taken suppressive therapy for nearly 10 so it's not been something I've had to think about a whole lot. So what I need advice with is should I email him today or tell him to his face tomorrow? Calling or doing it via FaceTime today is not an option.

Yes....first few years were the worst. I strongly urge you to try daily suppressive meds. It have me my life back. Also watch your diet....nuts and seeds are big triggers for a lot of people.

Willow I think it's probably anxiety related. But the fact I am getting it in areas I would normally get outbreaks is scaring me. The weird thing is, it's almost like an electrical shock sensation. Before when I would get prodrome if would just be a hot burning pain and not this shock sensation. I just wished there was a way to know when I'm shedding. :(

Thanks....I've wondered about the workouts too because they're really intense and focused more on lower body. It's just so hard to know and it scares me. I do think part of it is my anxiety over the whole thing. And funny you mentioned doggy....he already told me that's his favorite position. Lol But he's mentioned numerous times about going down on me. I'm scared he'll freak out if I hand him a dental dam. But then again, there's a good chance he has hsv 1 orally and I could catch a different strain. Not that it would make a difference but it might.

No...not possible to get off a toilet seat. And just because you have an outbreak on your butt doesn't mean you aren't shedding from your genitals. You mentioned having sex with him when you had blisters so more than likely he caught it from you. Anytime you have blustyou shouldn't have sex until they're healed. Were you with anyone else before him that you could have caught it from?

It makes you grow up so to speak, that life has consequences, that choices have risks and those consequences and risks can be horrible and life altering. I love this statement. So true! Believe me when I say, you will heal with time. I've been dealing with it for 18 years and it does not define you as a person. I know it's hard to see that right now when you're emotions are so raw but you will eventually see that this is just a skin condition. You have to view it that way. Don't get me wrong...I wished I didn't have it. Life is hard enough as it is sometimes to not have this extra hassle. But it isn't the end of the world. You'll eventually find someone who loves and cares about you despite having H.

There is such a stigma that exists about herpes. I recall a coworker/friend telling me once she had HPV and none of us thought it was a big deal. But I bet if I had told them I had herpes, they would have freaked out. I wished they would have another name for it. Like oral herpes has "cold sores" and varcella zoster is called "chicken pox". They are all essentially the same thing!

So here is my response: 1. Got it from my ex H when we began dating in late 1995/early 1996. He disclosed but waited right until we were ready to have sex the first time (literally as we were in bed together...not a good idea!). 2. I had my first OB on my upper thigh after we had been together for a month or two so not very long. 3. I think I got it the one time we did not use condoms. :( 4. He was not on antivirals since daily suppressive therapy wasn't an option back then.

I'm curious how you all contracted H. I've often wondered if there's anyone out there who got it despite all the precautions being used. 1. Do you know who gave you H? If so, did that person disclose to you prior? 2. How long did you have sex with this person before you got it? 3. Did you use condoms? 4. Was your partner on antivirals?

I posted here a few weeks ago that I am seeing someone and we plan to sleep together soon. Tuesday is the big day! So here's the problem. I've taken 1 gram of Valtrex daily for about 10 years. It's the only thing that has helped keep my OB's under control. I rarely have prodrome either. But when I started seeing this guy three months ago, I started with near daily prodrome. Literally started after the first time we got physical (didn't have sex or oral but other stuff). I don't know if it's guilt (I am technically still married but separated and so is he) or just the worry he'll contract it or what. We work together so I don't know what would happen if he caught it. It would definitely damage our work relationship. Around that same time, I overhauled my diet and exercise regimine. I started working with a personal trainer and I work out 7 days a week. My diet is super clean and I don't eat anything with high levels of arginine. So these daily prodromes are really baffling. I'm supplementing with lysine, lauricidin, zinc. vit C and using topical melissa oil. I haven't had any OB's this whole time but just the on/off tingling. The weird thing is, I am getting the same tingling in my "usual" areas (thighs and butt) in addition to new places....shins, knees, feet, toes, fingers, arms and back. I've even had it on my face. I don't have HSV 1 so wouldn't make sense to have these sensations in my upper body. As anyone else had this happen? Do you think it could be "false" prodrome maybe caused by Valtrex? I'm scared to have sex now since every piece of herpes literature says to avoid sex when you feel prodrome. But it's been three months! Surely I have not been shedding virus daily this whole time. Also, I have some questions: -Since condoms don't complete cover a guy's nether region, is there anything I can do to protect the parts the condom doesn't cover from coming into contact with my skin? Are there um, positions, that are less likely for those parts to come into contact with mine? -How risky is oral? My ex performed oral on me frequently throughout our marriage and never got it on his mouth/face. But he also had HSV2 so wondering if he was protected from getting it orally?

I think everyone is a little different. For me, Valtrex has been a godsend. I've taken it daily for nearly 10 years and I might get one small OB per year. Without it, I was getting about 1 per month. My ex on the other hand never took it and rarely got OB's (maybe a few a year). He would just take it for recurrences then they would be gone in a day or two. I do think that recurrent yeast infections will "feed" the virus and make you more prone to OB's.

I just wanted to add a comment that just because your OBs have only appeared on your leg, you can still be contagious from your genital tract. it's surprising how many doctors (including OB/GYN's) don't know that so just thought I would mention. :) I too only have had OB's on my thigh (and butt) and my first few years before suppressive therapy were rough. I suggest starting with 500 mg of Valtrex daily to help get it under control.

I work in clinical research and found some articles saying GSK partnered with the manufacturer and it's undergoing clinical testing so I don't think it's total hype. FDA hasn't given approval yet so that's why they're only releasing the condoms in Japan for now. It will be interesting to see what happens!

Ok, embarrassing question, does anyone have recommendations on a lube to use that won't cause herpes outbreaks or break down a condom? Also anyone heard of viva gel? Sounds like a potentially incredible product but hasn't hit the US market yet. :(. They're selling viva gel condoms in Japan. Wished we could get them here in the US!

Ok, embarrassing question, does anyone have recommendations on a lube to use that won't cause outbreaks or break down a condom? Also anyone heard of viva gel? Sounds like a potentially incredible product but hasn't hit the US market yet. :(. They're selling viva gel condoms in Japan. Wished we could get them here in the US!

Thanks both! Good suggestions! I have been anxiety ridden over this for weeks now and I just need to do it.

I posted on another thread about how I am seeing someone. I have never had to disclose before because I caught it from my ex-h. I'm sooooo nervous. I also cannot do it F2F because the guy lives in another state and the next time I see him is in a few weeks for a trip we have planned. I don't think it would be fair to spring it on him them. So I've decided to send it via text the week before the trip. I know...probably kind of juvenile but I just can't do it over the phone. So I am thinking of not telling him I have herpes or HSV but that I get cold sores "down there" and then provide the stats about how it can be spread even when there are no sores present. But also give him the stats about condoms, meds, avoiding sex during OB's, etc. I want it to come across as just a minor problem and not something horrible. I feel like herpes gives people such a negative image like you are a walking infection 100% of the time, kwim? Whereas cold sores are viewed differently (even though they are the exact same thing). Thoughts?

Ok, so I got my IGG test back and it was positive for HSV 2 and negative for HSV 1. I figured that was going to be the case but was holding out some hope it would be type 1 then not as easily transmittable. :( I do think my anxiety is getting the better of me. But some of the prodrome I am feeling is in the area I would normally get prodrome. That's what has me so concerned. The fact that it's been going on daily for 3 months is making me think it's anxiety driven so I need to find a way to calm down. I am curious if any of you caught it despite condoms and antivirals. Seems most of us caught it when our partners were not on meds. I've been taking Valtrex daily for several years (1 gram) so that isn't an issue. I'm just afraid it won't work. I've been reading alot about having sex can cause micro tears in the vagina making the virus more easily transmittable.

I have had GH for about 18 years now. I was never formally diagnosed but my ex-h had it (before we started dating). He disclosed to me but of course waited until we were in bed together to disclose (grrrr...). Anyway, this was back in the mid 90's when there was very little info available about it and doctors were just telling patients to avoid sex during active outbreaks. And of course there was no suppressive therapy back then either. The one time we didn't use a condom, I got my first outbreak about a week later on the back of my upper thigh. He was able to look at it and tell it was H so I never bothered to go to the doctor. I suffered with many outbreaks for the first couple of years (all butt/leg area....never had one in the genital area that I have seen). Finally I had enough and asked my doctor for Valtrex which I have taken daily since. It has been a real life saver. I went from having OB's about every month to maybe 1 per year or so and even when I get them they're really minor. Fast forward to now...I am seeing a co-worker. We live in different states so don't see each other often but we have a trip planned in a few weeks. I have yet to disclose to him. Honestly, I'm waiting until I get my IGG test results back (decided to get tested so I know for sure whether it's HSV 1 or 2..will disclose regardless but wanted to know for sure). So the stress of possible rejection and possibly spreading to him (if he doesn't reject me) are KILLING me. We started seeing each other in April and I swear ever since then I have had daily prodrome symptoms (no OB's). Like horrible daily burning shooting pains. The weird thing is I'm getting them in places where H would never appear (like my back, hands, arms, fingers, face, feet, knees, etc.) I'm also getting weird stabbing/shooting pains in my vagina. I've NEVER had anything like this even when my OB's were at their worst. So now I don't know what to do. I'm worried if I go through with the trip and these weird pains are still occurring that I'll spread to him. On the other hand, is it even possible to have prodrome for nearly 3 months with no relief? My diet is very, very clean. I started working with a personal trainer around that time and am working out alot too. I am not taking any supplements with arginine although some protein powder I was using had arginine in it but I quit using it well over a month ago. I take vitamin C, lysine and echinacea for immune support. I don't know if it's the anxiety or it's really prodrome. How can I tell the difference? I also wanted to know if any of you have been in a long term relationship with someone negative and didn't spread to them. I am soooo worried about him contracting it. Would it help if I took a double dose of Valtrex for the days that he and I are together? Finally, does melissa (lemon balm) oil help at all? I was thinking of applying it before sex (maybe to him as well?) as it has shown some good anti-herpes abilities in testing.