Well hello, I'm new here. I have had herpes a while. I'm still young but I am just now coming to terms with this. I got this in early 2000 and there was support groups online but I wasn't able to accept it yet. I was in shock for about a month and then the effect wore off and I got over it, but then I stopped caring about myself as much.
I have been able to find partners who accept this but my recent partner has made this very hard to deal with. I have been with my current partner for two years and he doesn't care at all. He doesn't want to use protection, he doesn't want to shower afterwards and recently he tried to force me into bed when I told him I couldn't have sex with him because I was having an outbreak.
He went to UC Berkley and he thinks he's better than everyone. He puts me down all the time and acts like I couldn't do better, but it's not because of the herpes, it's because I didn't finish my degree.
I recently made the decision to leave him and when I told my mother, she thought it was a bad idea because she likes him even though I told her what he says and does. I'm still leaving him because sex is too hard to deal with with him and he makes me feel bad about myself. It's hard enough worrying that he'll get this, but when he refuses to take precautions, sex becomes something I dread with him.
Honestly, I have lost all enjoyment for sex. Sex causes me more anxiety for me than it does pleasure. I don't like sex anymore. Does anyone else feel that way?