Christine106

My first question is- Is there any research on cures for this? Will there ever be a cure or are they close to finding a cure for H? I've done all I can to prevent an outbreak from happening again. When I got my first outbreak I took soothing baths, took the meds, and stayed hydrated. Afterwards I still drank a lot of water to flush anything out of my system, took Lysine supplements, drank detox tea. I just want to do all I can do to keep my body fighting this and also know what I can do to tame OB's or make them happen less often. Are there any home remedies? I have so many health concerns, and I've felt so down bc I'm so afraid of any germs and I just done feel like I can do anything normal. I'm a girly-girl and I love to tan, I also love the beach. But I've heard the sun can cause outbreaks? Is this true for HSV1 or only HSV2 or is it only a myth? I just haven't been able to tan or go to the beach. I'm also always on top of my shaving and waxing and I feel even less sexy and more disgusting since I haven't been able to shave, am I able to? Or do I just wax? Or can I not keep it clean down there? I'm also extremely into fitness. But I've been afraid to workout lately, I don't know if it can trigger an outbreak. How do I maintain everything and keep active? Another thing is laundry. Since I've found out I've had this I only wear shorts once before washing them, I don't know if my underwear need to be sanitized or I should reserve certain panties for "herpes" and certain ones for "non herpes". I've been washing all my boyfriends sheets, washing my towels after only using them once...Maybe that sounds silly but I'm just really concerned and want to keep clean. Any advice would be amazing, I'm having a lot of trouble knowing what to do here and the impact H will have on my life.

I just found out I have HSV-1 a little under a month ago so I have a lot of questions. I also have a lot of sadness and hopelessness right now. I was just wondering if anyone had any success stories, or ways this has impacted your life in a positive way. I just want to know what type of GOOD things can come and change from this discovery. Knowing some of the good things this has caused or ways it has changed someone for the better would help me see what positive outcome I may be able to someday have.

I want to thank the founder of the site for showing how personable he is and how he genuinely cares about everyone's situation. You taking the time out of your day to be there for others is amazing. I also want to thank everyone elses feedback and support. I understand I can have a normal love life, I've been reading about it and reading about it, yet for some reason I do feel like it's over. I already just feel undesirable, like I lost my sexuality, and like I'm an infected person. The biggest thing people talk about is protecting others from contracting H, but why do we have to protect others if H really is not as bad as people are saying? It makes me sad to think I have to protect someone from something I have, that's what makes me feel infected and abnormal. Because no one else wants to have it. I just want to be able to feel sexy, and not worry about OB's, all I want is to be able to make love freely, when I'm married I want to do it without a condom of course, and I just feel like I'm in a prison where I can't do anything I want sexually and I have to be extremely careful. What fun is an adventerous act of love if there are so many rules and precautions? I understand there should always be rules and precautions for those who aren't married bc they want to avoid STD's, pregnancy, ECT. but I'm talking about feeling like I'm a prisoner bound to rules and precautions for when I am someday married. This is what's killing me so much and making me feel like our relationship is no longer as beautiful. I'm sorry I'm saying so much, I just have a whole tidal waves of thoughts, worries, fears, and questions about this. I agree that everyone has their emotional battles and someone out there is dealing with something harder than the next person. I just guess I feel like this is an emotional battle I cannot fight. I have undergone many emotional battles but this one has hit me harder than anything. I don't mean to get too personal but my father did drugs all the time and abandoned my family, my parents got divorced, my mom abused me, my father went to prison for a few years, I had a very unloving and unsupportive family my whole life, I've lived in poverty my whole life. I have taken all these things and grown from them and pushed through life smiling and making why way through it. I just already felt like that was so much to go through being only 20, and I thought I was handling myself and life's problems and hardships just fine. But for some reason and I don't know why, finding out I had HSV-1 in my genital area has affected me more than all that. I've never in my life woken up in the middle of the night just thinking about it and getting extremely upset, I've never in my life wanted to take Nyquil at 7pm to avoid the rest of the day and just give up, I've never in my life ever felt like nothing would ever be good in my life again, I've never ever cried this long or hard. I don't understand why this is tearing me apart so much. I also want to appologize for the negativity I am sharing, since I know you guys are so supportive, and positive, and thrive on the opportunity portion of H. I'm just kind of letting it all out and hope someone can help give me advice or help me understand what is even happeneing to me.

The biggest thing I am going through here is complete and utter confusion. I had the most painful experience in my life with this physically. Many people say they are asymptomatic or have minor symptoms. For me, whenever I went to the bathroom I was in tears from the pain, fatigue, weakness, could hardly walk without whimpering, which is all very strange to me knowing it was HSV-1 not HSV2 (my doctor said HSV1 is less painful/severe). I've also read that the first outbreak is most severe which is somewhat comforting but I'm also just freaked out of ever feeling that pain again. That's only the beginning of my worries--the physical feeling. When it comes to the emotions, it's like I'm drowning. Here is where my confusion begins--I've only been with 1 guy who I love and he loves me very much, we have been together 2 and half years and our intentions are to soon get engaged and get married. (I'm 20 and he's 23) When he found out I had HSV1, he didnt accuse me, or make me feel bad, or any of the other horror stories I've heard about unsuportive partners. He said it was probably from cold sores, even though he had never done oral with me when he had one, and so we were both surprised this could happen. He held me tightly while I cried for hours and said how sorry he was he had done this to me, and how bad he feels. He's done anything he can to cheer me up, he listens to me cry and talk and rage, he buys me my favorite treats or snacks to make me feel better, he took me to a romantic and fun vacation getaway to try to show me how normal and fine everything will be, he told me he himself will get herpes if it makes me feel better, he told me he is never afraid of it, how common he knows it is, and how it's not as big of a deal as I actually think it is. He is in complete acceptance about it. So why am I still feeling like it's the end of the world? He told me I still have my hopes and dreams, and how amazing our future is going to be, and how he will be there for me every step of the way. How can I have someone completely accepting of this who loves me and I still have panic attacks, and scream into pillows, and cry just wishing I could be in the past. And to make matters worse- he is so accepting and loving about this whole thing and yet I still feel so many feelings of anger, regret, and jealousy toward him. I feel like if I had never have met him my life would be better because then I would not have this. I feel jealous that he gets to be the shoulder I lean on instead of the one going through this. I feel jealous that he gets to live every day doing what he does without an emotional battle in his mind. I dont have HSV1 orally or cold sores so I feel as if I had been with someone who didnt have those I would have been okay. ( I dont actually know if I would sacrifice our relationship just to not have herpes it's just a strong and confusing feeling I have about not just me and his life, but MY life.) How can I feel all these negative feelings when I have someone who's so positive and loving to me. He keeps telling me that it's me who's making the negative feelings, and that it's not the herpes that has done that. I know he's right about that but I also feel like he's not really putting himself in my shoes and realizing all I am enduring. I'm confused because this is all consuming me. I just want to stop letting it overtake my mind. He is still listening to me and being supportive, but the more and more we talk the less patient he is being, and the more accusatory he is being that it's my fault I'm letting this control my mind, he keeps telling me I'm not thinking logical enough, and how I am acting weak. My behavior and feelings are taking a huge toll on our relationship and I feel like we're breaking apart and I lost a huge connection to myself and the world around me. How can I not only save myself and my mind, but how can I save this from destroying the amazing relationship I have with the love of my life?