happies66

I feel so terrible. I'm really close to disclosing, I was actually going to do it today, but something happened last night. We were making out, there was some over the clothes touching and very brief fingering. I stopped him and he then touched his genitals. I'm mortified.. Did I just possibly spread the virus? After disclosing, do I now need to tell him he should get tested?

And I am still on suppressive therapy.

Oh, just to add. I am certain I have HSV2. I've had 2 blood test done and I test positive.

Herpes has not been a big deal for me thus far. I've been affected more by fear and shame than I have the actual virus. I've had it for 2 years now and have never had an outbreak. I might not even know I have the virus without my ex-boyfriend messaging me on Facebook 4-5 months after we had ended our relationship. He told me he had genital herpes and I needed to get tested. I had been tested before I was with him and had tested negative for herpes. Actually, I had urged him to get tested too, but "heat of the moment, unprotected sex, I trust you, well, we've already had unprotected sex once, might as well have more unprotected sex, blah blah blah." I was also very misinformed about herpes (I thought you could only catch it if the person you were having sex with, had an open sore.) Thanks, abstinence based, extremely flawed Texas Sex Ed. Anyway... I ended up getting back together with an ex I had been with previous to him. We had a pretty serious history, a very passionate relationship, he was in love with me, and accepted my new herpes status without missing a beat. "I'll catch it too if that means I get to have sex with you everyday." I think were his exact words. Of course, I didn't want that to happen, so I got on daily suppressive therapy. We also used condoms about 2/3 of the time. Our relationship ended a few months ago for reasons unrelated and he is still negative. Now, I get to the problem.. I like someone new. I mean, I really like him. I can see myself falling in love with this guy. Our chemistry is amazing. Our conversations, amazing. He is my ideal partner. I haven't told him about my herpes yet, but I just have this feeling that he will not be okay with it. He is a self proclaimed germ-ophobe. Something tells me, he will be disgusted by me. I want to get this out in the open so I can either sulk and move on, or we can start getting physical. But, I just need more reassurance incase he DOES reject me.. I need some strong words from you guys, because I don't want to start crying. I don't want to be visibly emotionally upset. I've been reading posts on different websites, people asking if herpes is a deal breaker. The whole "I wouldn't take a chance" thing is ridiculous. We are human, and we have slip ups. If you've ever had unprotected sex, you have already taken a chance. Hell, even if you have protected sex, you are still taking a small risk of catching something. Sex is risky, it's animalistic, it's not pretty. It's real. You have to be an adult and take responsibility and acknowledge things can always happen. Who wants to live their life in a bubble? Who wants to feel damaged over something REALLY as minor as herpes? Also, another question.. When should I tell him? Should I wait until I've been seeing him about a month? That's what I'm thinking.. So far it's been 2 weeks..