jlovesjlo

:)

Thank you. I saw him last night but no sex. I didn't bring anything up. I feel like at this point he is goingt to leave me when I tell him. I know he would want kids from me and I would want kids from him. We have liked each othee for years but I make things complicated cause of my guilt of non disclosure and all that comes with being herpes positive. I won't have sex with him till I figure it out but still talk to him. Thanks though.

I did not disclose before sex. I was on acyclovir but no condom use was enforced. He has told me he has always been careful not to catch diseases or have kids. So I assume he is clean before I met him. I like him. I don't want to lose him but I have to tell him and let him be mad. Hopefully when he calms down he will still want to see me. We have had a rocky start to begin with because I came in with many insecurities that I was ignoring including herpes but he knows I'm working through them all except for herpes. I let him know about many impacting events in my life. He suggested counseling and a break from dating. I'm going to counseling for my rough past and rape in my 20s.I'm 31. He wants to start dating again. After 3 months of not dating. But this time I will disclose before getting into bed with him again. We dated for 6 months and although he liked me I was very nervous and jumpy and couldn't open up and be myself cause of my insecurities. In Jan 2012 is when I met him and there was an instant connection. He asked me to be his girl and I said yes but changed my mind 2 months after because I felt undeserving..That broke his heart. I contacted him in october 2013 and have been talking to him since. I slept with him from march till june 2014. Before him I haven't been with anyone since I got herpes so it was my first time and I ruined it but we like each other alot and he wants to try again for some reason. This would be the third time we try to establish something together and i want to do things right.I definetly would want to try again but I'm afraid of him rejecting me and worst him getting mad at me and things getting ugly because I have put him at risk. I am so sorry.