Rumi12

Update: Things fizzled out on their own before anymore physical contact, therefore the talk was not needed. Feeling 100% a-ok about this since, this means it probably would have been a pointless disclosure. Now I'm just taking care of myself and not worrying about dating/sleeping with anyone. :)

Also, what @Seeker said, just gotta let it run its course. I kept waiting for a year to pass because thats what I read was always the time frame you experience more OBs. Within six months, I was passed the worst of it. Its just giving your body time to adjust, especially being female where we have a whole bunch of stuff leveling out on a monthly basis.

@MG0301 When I was diagnosed, I was dating a man who knew he had it so we knew what to be on the lookout about for me. I did get diagnosed eventually and we continued having sex. A short time after that, sex began to hurt -- a lot. First it was just some discomfort but it legit became extremely painful. Once it got to that point we saw my doctor who examined me and said I did have an outbreak up in there and sex had caused an ulster. Which was causing the horrible pain. Sex did not bring on the internal OB but it did cause the excruciating pain. I have not had anything internally since and it really did take about 2 months for me to feel 100% again. I stopped dating that person as well and I think that helped since it gave me time to not mess around with the healing process. I've also had sex since without any kind of discomfort, which was a relief. Honestly, stress is a major trigger for me. It would make little OBs last longer and come back way sooner than I'm used to (with my body, of course.) Also, part of the reason I accepted being a carrier of HSV2 so soon was worrying about it made it so much worse! Its still a daily struggle but I am open with all of my family and fiends and crack jokes about it as much as possible. You're lucky you sound this site so soon after being diagnosed, I've been positive for well over a year and after coming here, feel incredibly better about everything having to do with this condition. It gets easier, I promise. :)

Im sorry for coming off defensive about anything thats been said here. I asked for opinions and advice and got exactly that, then I came off a certain way which I didnt intend to do. I seriously appreciate everything that has been discussed here because its showing me other's perspectives on the matter. @seeker @willow @wcsdancer2010 I am truly grateful for everything you guys have said. I get mixed reactions from the closest friends and family members but I always feel that they are on the outside of what Im going through. This discussion really helps me work out what is best. :)

@Seeker Perhaps for the same reason youre feeling this way about one night stands is the same reason im not feeling upto a relationship. Also, i dont think this would technically count as a one night stand since im dating the guy in question, its just still in the early stages. We both made it clear we arent viewing this a promised long term relationship, but are also willing to see how things naturally go. In my mind, i see it as being open to seeing each other and not opposed to something in the future, should that moment come.

@Willow This is pretty much the first time im being one of "those people!" Ive always been so shy and could never imagine just having a one tine thing. But it always ended up with ne becoming emotionally attached to someone and rushing into a serious relationship. I think its just cause its the first time Ive been fully aware that Im not ready for a legit committed relationship, and ok with it without feeling held back from having a sex life. Plus, i would never sleep with someone without telling them first. I had that choice, but the person I got it from did not. I dont ever want to surprise anyone with this type of "gift." The least I can do is tell them. So, i still dont know when our next date will be but i will certainly let you guys know how it plays out. I appreciate everyones thoughts on the situation!

@willow That is what Im leaning towards. @WCSdancer2010 Truth is, I would be cool with either. Ive been off the market for over a year and only had a one night stand for the first time a few weeks ago. Whats different about that one was it was a close friend who I trust and when I disclosed to him, his response was "well is it going to kill me?" to which I replied, "no." And after more talk, he was fine with it. Honestly, I am not in a place for a relationship but would like to get laid, to put it bluntly ha. If this new guy were interested in still casually dating, I would be in. If he were cool for a one time hook up, I am also ok with it. Ive told myself from the beginning not to get my hopes up for anything more than what we already seem to have. @willow @wcsdancer2010 I think I will just tell him. I wont be hurt if he doesnt feel up to it. But I will regret not giving it a shot. I got to this place by taking a risk with a guy I dated for 5 months last year. He told me on our first date and even though I now know he didnt exactly give me all the facts or time to think it over, I know there are more people out there with the acceptance I had for him and I plan to go about it in a better way. Thank you so much guys, Its nice having opinions from people who have been through this before. :)

Ok, so, after a year of being on PS and feeling like I was settling having such a few amount of dudes to choose from, I decided to go back on OKC. About six weeks ago an attractive, chill guy and myself started emailing. After a few of those we had out first date. It went very well and we had a second date a week later, a hike in the woods. That went well. Then we we had a third date of date and a movie at his apt....obviously something was going to happen. We kissed for the first time which turned into heavy making out. He then suggested we move to the bedroom and I said I had my "lady time." I also said I didnt wanna rush into things. He was cool with that, we made out some more then I went home. The next day I asked him out for the following weekend and he gave a weird answer. Four days passed without me hearing from him about Wed being a good day to hang out. Randomly Monday night he texts me "what are you looking for?" I was taken aback but answered, "Im trying to casually date right now. Seeing how things naturally go." He said hes doing the same and isnt "actively looking for a relationship, but thinks seeing how things go naturally is the best way to go about dating." We will probably be meeting up for another date next week, and after my long story, here is my question... If I know he isnt looking for a relationship, is it even worth telling him I have ghsv2? I have been going back and forth if I should even try telling him or if I should just cut things off now. I know hes not looking for anything long term just yet, but I would still like to get physical with him if hes ok with my condition. I would never sleep with someone without telling them and I know there is a good chance given how we've gone about this dating he wont be ok with it, and Im ok with that. What worries me is his reaction being understanding or negative. I just feel like this would be a good experience. And I also am one of those people who double thinks the chances I dont take. What if he could be cool with it and everything is fine? I dont want to miss this chance. I read about on here how someone had a guy stop talking to her and it was super sad for the chick, to then find out he had herpes and didnt know how to tell her. But she moved and she would have been ok with it. Missed chance. Im rambling but Im so 50/50, I dont know what to do! So if it is advised I not tell him, whats the best way to cut things off now? Ugh....

So I've got a question hopefully someone can give me an answer to. First off, let me say this, it was about 16 months ago I found out I am a carrier of ghsv-2. I never got a diagnoses from my doctor if I had anything in my mouth because when I asked her how we check, she simply waved her arm and said "oh everyone has it in their mouth, don't worry about it.", then she walked out of the room. I was a bit annoyed at this response. What I am curious about is, if I do in fact have hsv-2 in the mouth and decide to give someone oral sex, will I most likely transmit hsv-2 to them (obviously only when I am certain I do not have an outbreak)? I have never had a definite outbreak on my mouth so I've never been sure if I even got it there. But there have been times where I'm unsure if its a pimple or not, but it never hurts or tingles or the typical signs I read about. Also, is there a way to check if its in my mouth without an outbreak? In closing, this is my first post on here after finding this site a few days ago and I cannot be happier knowing I have it to lean on. Thanks to everyone who takes the time to read this and to everyone who offers their support all over this website. Its a great feeling not be alone. :)