dallas2015

I think you're doing everything right. I was in a 3.5 yr relationship, and disclosed my GHSV1 status before we ever had sex... it started out with condoms & valtrex, then he became comfortable without condoms, but he would clean himself with purell after (not necessarily recommended, but it put his mind at ease!), and eventually he became comfortable enough to stop the purell. Oral sex was never an issue for him, probably because there's not as much of a stigma attached to cold sores! (ugh!). Anyway, he never contracted the virus from me, and while it took some time for him to become completely comfortable with the whole idea, he says he never considered leaving me because of it.

This has happened to me... and to save myself the agony and stress, I just went to the doctor. Turned out to be a yeast infection, got on antibotics and saved myself a few wrinkles!

Sort of related question for the ladies on this one... has anyone had issues getting a bikini wax? I've always been afraid to get one... do salons have policies on disclosing STDs before a wax?

@Fluffy - I can totally relate to what you're saying. I have GHSV-1 and I have only had one OB, so for me, the only day-to-day struggle is dealing with the stigma... telling new partners or even telling my friends. I have only told a couple friends, but I think I am getting the courage to possibly tell 1 or 2 more who might be understanding. Both of my parents have Oral HSV-1 (they didn't pass it to me) and they act like it's no big deal... knew plenty of kids growing up who would get cold stores, and still no big deal... so why is it such a big deal that I got it on a different part of my body?? That is probably the most frustrating part for me. I have had it for so long though, I really don't ever think about it until I start to date someone new. I'm in my 30's, hoping that I will be able to find my lifetime partner soon and then it will barely be an after thought!

I'm just curious about other peoples' experience telling their friends about your H status. I've had GHSV-1 for 7+ years and have only told 2 close friends, and the guys I've dated. When a guy ends things with me because of this, I want to be able to tell (some of) my friends why, but don't know who I can trust, so I usually just make something up, or give some vague reason that it just wasn't working. I know I'm under no obligation to tell them, but sometimes it just makes me feel even deeper in my hole of secrecy and that it's something I should be ashamed of. It would be nice to have a support system of them reassuring me that I'm great anyway, but at the same time I don't want them to let it slip and tell other friends, because I don't necessarily want EVERYONE to know, ya know?

I just came upon this thread, and it applies to what I'm going through right now. I have GHSV-1 and 3 days ago I disclosed to the guy I've been dating for almost 3 months. We had already slept together a couple times WITH protection... which I know is a taboo subject, but I've had it for 7+ years and even had unprotected sex for 3 years with a consenting partner who never contracted it, I take valtrex daily, and have not had an outbreak since my initial one over 7 years ago. The night this all happened, we were talking about our "status" and he was pressuring me to go without condoms if we were going to be exclusive... so I figured this was the time to fess up. I told him the risks of transmission (slim with my type!), safety precautions we can take, and gave him the disclosure handout. He said he needs a week to think about it, but it's agonizing! Now it's just a waiting game, but I too can relate to feeling like it's unfair that I have to wait in pain while who knows what he's thinking. I want to send a quick text to just say "hey how's it going, how do you feel today" but after reading this thread, I'll give him the week he asked for. In the future, I think I will ALWAYS disclose before it gets this far. Not only to be fair to my partner, but also because I think it's only that much harder now that feelings have developed on my end and P.S. this would definitely not the first time someone has ditched me after disclosing, but I really like this guy and I usually disclose earlier before I get so emotionally attached... kicking myself for that one :-/