neverthoughtme

Oh & no...my bf has not been tested. I told him he should. I think he's relying on my test results which I know & I told him he shouldn't. I'm going to continue to push him to get tested.

Great advice! Thank you for both of your comments. I'm very hesitate to go to my OBGYN bc a friend my boyfriend & I both know & went to school with works there. I'm really not trying to expose him & I in a negative light. We all know the unfortunate stigma of Herpes...ugh. Think I'm going to look into finding a new OB.

Thank you WCSDancer2010. I'm assuming I have it but was hoping it was negative & just "something else".

So I was recently intimate with my new boyfriend. Within 2 days, I discovered what looked like ulcers on my inner lip. I went to the health dept. They did a pap smear, swab test & blood test for Herpes & all other STD's. The dr said it looked like Herpes to her. They did say I had bacterial vaginosis. They gave me medicine for Herpes & an antibiotic for the other. All tests came back negative. Now it's been almost 2 months. I just had what appears to be another outbreak 1 day after having sex with my boyfriend again. I'm so confused. The swab was done when I was in full outbreak mode so I don't think it was lack of evidence for testing. Could this all be from BV? Should I get retested? So confused!

I'm having the exact same issue except I just got back my test results. Both swab & blood test were negative. I was tested 2 days after the initial outbreak so they should have had a very active sample. I also tested negative for all other STD's. They did say however that I had Bacterial Vaginosis. Could this be what is causing this? So confused.

Thank you WCSDancer2010.....The way I explained it, I think he also realizes he probably gave it to me. He knows I'm not mad, it wasn't done intentionally. What I got from his reaction is well if I now have it & we are monogamous, then we will be fine with each other basically. Thanks again for taking the time to answer my questions & concerns!

Now as I'm reading other posts, I have a question if you guys don't mind. If my boyfriend is ok with everything & doesn't get tested because he (let's just say for arguments sake) assumes he did in fact give it to me & has it, do we NEED to use a condom? However, I am urging & pushing him to get tested.

@seeker Thank you for responding in reference to kids. It really helps settle my nerves & put my mind at ease. @WCSDancer2010 Thank you as well for taking the time to comment on getting past "the talk". @In_The_Same_Boat I also appreciate your sympathy & comments! At the end of the day, I was like many others & thought my life was over! Now I think I'm going to live (insert sarcasam) lol! Thanks again everyone!

Thank you all for your support & comments! I told him last night. I was so nervous when he pulled up that I literally couldn't breath! I started by telling him how much I cared for him & what our relationship meant to me. Then preceded with I need to talk to you about something important. I told him that I had noticed a difference (down there) ever since we had sex & that I decided to go to the doctor. Then I immediately had to say...I'm not pregnant lol. I told him the final results haven't come back yet but the doctor was pretty sure of what it was. I made sure I told him that I did not & was not blaming him. The easiest (and less harsh) way I chose to compare it to was acne. You have outbreaks periodically on the skin, then the majority of the time, you have nothing. He was of course a bit shocked but grabbed me, hugged me & gave me a kiss. He then said that did not change how he felt about me or looked at me & that he wasn't going anywhere. In fact, he said I was an amazing woman for being honest & telling him. He said he has been tested & that he would have never not told me if he knew. After he left to go home, he text me telling me how much more he respected me for being honest etc. It was a HUGE weight lifted off my shoulders! Sorry for the detailed disclosing, but I know others need examples & advice on what to say. I was that person yesterday! In conclusion, tell! Don't be afraid to be honest. Living with a lie would've been more of a death sentence then any little outbreak ;-)

Wanted to add that I really love this guy & the feeling is mutual. I don't want to loose him!

So I'm a month or so out of a monogamous 2.5 yr relationship. That person was tested & so was I prior to being sexually active. I never cheated on him & I know he didn't cheat on me. With that being said, with what I'm reading, who knows if we were actually tested for Herpes. Now I'm seeing my new boyfriend. We've known each other for 10 years. Our connection is very strong & after only 2 weeks of officially dating, we had unprotected sex. 2 days after, I was still sore & noticed what looked like sores. I immediately went to the doctor. They said they are pretty sure it's Herpes, also have a slight bacterial infection. I have never had an outbreak or any other symptoms. With me getting an OB 2 days after sex with my new partner, I'm pretty sure he gave it to me. I know this person well enough that I truly don't believe he knew he had it. Now here's the big question, I really want to go ahead & tell him because it's eating me alive! I am a very honest & upfront person! However, I have a huge fear of him rejecting me, thinking I'm gross & gave it to him (pretty common stigma) and/or never wanting to see me again. Also afraid of him telling everyone he knows, which is a lot of my same mutual friends, that I gave him Herpes. So do I go ahead & tell him or do I wait on the test results to come back? Also, I have 2 children. 1 who is only 6. What precautions do I need to take to not give it to them? Is it possible for them to get it from me? Thank you in advance. I am totally a nervous wreck. I plan on telling him this evening. I'm sick to my stomach typing this right now.