Bankonthat

Thank you :)

4months ago I posted about how I'd successfully disclosed to a work colleague that was H negative after dating for 2 months. I just wanted to let you know how well it's gone and show you that herpes as everyone has said really isn't that big a deal, once you get the right mindset and have the outbreaks under control. I've been taking antivirals ever since we knew we were ready to be intimate and it wasn't for my benefit, reading the stats I felt more comfortable knowing I reduced the risk of transmission whilst being on them. To start off With i told him the stats from herpes life and what I knew from other websites. He went on to do his own research and asked me questions which I answered as best I could. When I visited my gyno, he suggested at my next appointment I bring him along so he could answer any questions. This made me really nervous and uncomfortable, what if he said something that put him off me. Still I put the suggestion forward and sure enough he thought it was a great idea. So last week we went to the appointment and as I was having my antiviral review the gyno started asking me lots of questions about how I'd got on, what symptoms I'd had. It was so hard to do, especially in front of my new partner but he wasn't phased by it in the slightest. And all of the questions my partner asked were about me, do the tablets have any side effects, does diet have an impact. This made me feel so at ease to know he wasn't concerned by H, but rather what could be changed to benefit me. We both come out saying it was the best thing for both us because we did it together and it was all out in the open. Now he has told me he's not bothered if he gets it, because he knows it's not that big a deal and by me sharing that moment with him he has realised how much care I've put into making sure he doesn't get it. I guess what I am hoping to share with you by posting this is yes it's hard to disclose and answer the questions but if your open about it, your potential partner will see that it is not a big deal and you can have a relationship with a h negative person. It does get easier with time and I can't tell you how happy I am now because we have been so open from the start. If you have any questions feel free to send me a message :)

I met this amazing guy at work. We have so much in common and the past 2 months have made me feel normal again. I found out I had hsv2 over 2 years whilst with my ex bf. One day I had a tingle followed by 3 small blisters near the opening of my lady parts. Had a cultural and the results came back positive. I struggled to come to terms with my diagnosis and as such couldn't continue the relationship with my partner. I blame him for my diagnosis and part of me believes he knew he had it as the way he acted when we found out was so calm and collected. I on the other hand struggled immensely. I came home one night crying and told my mum she told me it wasn't the end of the world but I just felt numb. Reading all the success stories gave me the courage to tell the guy I am now seeing. I texted him one evening using the information from the handout. He was so understanding and advised he didn't know much but he liked me before and liked me now regardless. He obviously had a few questions so I agreed we would discuss in person when we was alone. Since our chat he has said he's not going anywhere and he appreciates the courage and care i made in telling him. My only problem now is I feel like I'm a walking disease that's going to infect him at any moment. I cant get the thought out of my head. I really like him and I want this to work. I know he has accepted the risk but part of me doesn't want him to feel the way I felt when I found out I was infected. Please can any discordant couples tell me how they prevent transmission when having sexual relations. Especially in terms of masturbation and oral. I'm scared if he masturbates me then touches himself he will get infected straight away. I am pretty good at knowing when I am shredding as I get the tingle and leg sensations. I am going on antivirals when I visit my doctor and to begin with we have discussed wearing condoms also. Thank you for any time you can spare in giving advice!