Roo21

Thanks. I really appreciate that, especially from you. @WCSDAncer2010 You are like the freaking legend on here :) But I believe I will be stealing your phrase as well! I'm a happy, fun person, I refuse to let this ruin that. Now I just have another platform of jokes to make with my close friends. My bestie sent me a video of herself singing "I didn't choose the herp life, the herp life choose me" in her best Tupac impression, bandana and everything. I laughed for an hour. I'm a firm believer, humor heals the soul.

Thanks, it helps being able to discuss it without worrying what people will think. My mom... The amazing creature she is, looked at me and said "girl, you aren't the first and won't be the last. You have more destined for you than this. Piss on it, kick some dirt over it, and keep walking on". She's absolutely right.

So I guess it's time for me to lay it out. I found out I had my little friend 3 days ago. After being really sick and spending 12 days in the hospital with meningitis, a follow up with my doctor showed I had HSV2. I had no clue. I have never had any type of symptoms. Now HSV meningitis, that's a hell of a first OB. I got 10 days of anti virals IV and now since I have been home, I'm starting to have some tingling in my sacrum and some swelling of my girl. Here we go... When he told me, I just sat in his office and cried. Went out to my car and cried. Went directly to my best friend and cried. Being single and getting ready to turn 35, I did what a respectable girl in her mid 30s does, I sat with my best friend and drained 2 bottles of wine. And then I stopped crying. I can't say I'm overly surprised though. I had just got out of a long relationship and was looking for a way to heal my broke heart. I met a very nice man who I dated for a few weeks. We had sex, and I really thought we was a keeper. We had 2 more dates, and then he just disappeared. Literally vanished. He didn't return calls or texts. I'm a smart girl, after a few days, I just moved on. I have spent my life trying to be a strong woman, so I sure the hell wasn't going to chase him. Thought I had dodged a bullet... Nope that sucker hit me right between the eyes... Or legs. Whichever. My best friend has been H2+ for several years and I have been there for her when she was low. I saw her depression, I saw her anger, I saw her sadness. I have also seen her get married, have a baby, and lead an absolutely normal life. She has been amazing for me. She gave me some advice on treatments, when I have another OB, and told me about this place. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on. But this website... It's nice to see people picking people up instead of pushing them down. I had meet a new guy and we have been talking for a few weeks. In my drunken haze of finding out, he asked why I was upset and I just blurted it out. The filter from your brain to your mouth... Yeah, I don't have one of those lol Expecting him to just run the other way, he completely shocked me. He let me have some space and called me the next day. He had some questions, but it didn't bother him. Regardless of how it turns out, I'm very glad he didn't freak out. May make the next time a little easier. I just wanted to thank you all, this is an amazing place with amazing people. I'm lucky that my friends and my mother are so supportive., but it's nice to have someone living this nightmare with you. I know it will get better, and I know I will be fine. I'm tough, and this doesn't define me. No more crying, no more obsessing, and no more guilt. Shit happen, just gotta go with it :) Thanks :)