wateradept55

Hey everyone! I dug around a bit, granted didn't do a full scale search, but didn't come across anything for gay couples/dating/hookups and success any gay guys here have had with disclosure and relationships, or honestly just hookups. While I vastly appreciate all the advice and discussion from the many lovely ladies here, I haven't seen much advice from the dudes of (h)opportunity, particularly any gay men. I'm currently in a relationship going on 10-11 months with the same guy who infected me. He's one of the "lucky" 80% who have never had any sign or symptom of having HSV. He's never had a sore, either orally, anally, or around his mouth, with the exception of type-1 cold sore on a very rare occasion (never since we've been together.) I had a large outbreak within our 3rd month of dating and felt shamed, disgusted, cried myself to sleep several nights, and immediately disclosed that I had *some* type of HSV to my parents (though still not exactly committed to telling them it's HSV-2, but the disclosure in basic form has been great for my self-esteem, since they comment on cold sores and understand my need for medication - everyone has meds for something!) My questions stem to my relationship. I'm 24, my partner is 15+ years my senior. I realize this means we're likely not a life-long match, and some may say "well then why are you wasting your and especially his time?" We have deep love for each other, and maybe we need to have conversations about the future of our relationship now that we're approaching a full year. So if I'm putting myself in that dating pool again come fall, or something, can any guys share their success stories about disclosure, hookups, dating and relationships? Again, appreciate everyone here a TON but would really like someone with a similar story to me! - Water

And yes, aware that HPV vaccine won't help if I already have it (against whichever type it is, that is), but if it can help prevent against the cancer causing ones, always good to just do it anyway.

I did think about that, Wiser, but most photos I saw online of HPV were not HSV-looking, as most descriptions too said "genital warts have a cauliflower appearance" and this is very much your standard small red dot. It really resembles more an in-grown hair, but I know it's been there too long. I'm aware HPV could be deceiving so I'll be sure to keep an eye on it (no spreading of any kind since beginning of Feb.) If the ACV trick doesn't work after a few more days of me dabbing it 2-3 times a day, I'll have a pap smear done at immediate care (and then promptly ask for HPV vaccine which I should have gotten last year, but was afraid of the neuro-side effects..) I'll also check my walgreens and giant for tea tree oil or lemon balm.

So this may be an odd follow-up comment, but the sore has kind of stayed "unpopped" - I have a lot of alum that I use for canker sores on rare occasions, but the alum didn't seem to really "soak in" or sting because the sore still has kind of a covering...I've been trying to use aloe and apple cider vinegar hoping it gets soaked up and sterilizes it. I'm assuming I should never try to use a small pin or anything to "uncover" the sore?

I haven't tried that, thanks for the suggestion. I'm also going to give apple cider vinegar a try, but I can't seem to find consensus on whether it should be taken orally with some water or put directly on the sores to be most effective. Anyone with tips on that, I'd be very grateful!!

Hey there! Fairly new here too, and I have to say I had the EXACT same situation happen to me with the doctor. I know it's not good to pass judgment on those in the medical labs and doctor's offices who (I hope...) are there to help us, but as someone who doubles, triple checks my work in my office, the fact that a lab who does such crucial testing that could mean turning someone's life upside down would say something like "we misread your results, sorry, oops." - nothing hurts more than that moment of hitting the ground hard after you were flying high from them telling you "you're fine!" I had my blood work all come back negative and the asian-female doctor cheerfully call me saying "everything came back good, no need to worry, hope you have a great day!" and that was followed by another voicemail ten minutes later saying "actually your skin graph test came back positive...you have HSV-2. We'd like you to come back in for your treatment options. Goodbye." I fell to pieces and didn't know how my life had "crumbled" before my eyes in just one afternoon. After a few painful nights and lots of tears, consoling from my partner who never had symptoms or outbreaks but had never been tested for it so didn't know he had it, I learned how to treat this exactly as it is...just a meaningless virus. No different that cold sores on your lip, no different than people who have other skin conditions, allergies that pester people every year...sure it is contagious, and not everything other people has is, but that doesn't mean you have to wallow. Relationships and sex are SO much more meaningful when placed with a filter that rids the horrid personalities and only let's in the folks who say, "oh is that all? Psh, don't worry about it." I know if my current partner (same who passed the virus to me) and I break up, it will be tough getting through dating again (and will I even be able to just hook up if I'm safe/on medication?) but I will be determined to treat myself in the highest regard and always keep my head up.

Hey folks, Fairly new member here, been surveying the "land" of this forum for a few months, reading some pretty inspirational stuff - kudos to all of you brave souls for committing to being upbeat about your diagnoses! So quick back story, I'm a guy whose been dating a guy a bit older than me (24 vs. 39) and we've been together almost a full year. About month 3 of us dating, I had a sore just inside (going a bit graphic here..) my urethra - stung like crazy. That led to me going to get a panel of tests done, and at first all my blood tests came back negative, but the skin graph the P.A. took of my sore showed positive for HSV-2. I was pretty devastated by this news, but bounced back pretty quickly. I'm well aware that this is just what it is - A SKIN CONDITION. And a very mild one at best! Happy to share more on my back story, but I actually have more of a targeted question for healing methods out there. I have had one pesky sore that just won't go away, no matter what I do. Epson salt baths, keeping things very dry, Valtrex regiments (cured my outbreak in the last four months, but this one sore is still there)... I'm not sure if anyone has any natural home remedies they've found to be very effective on closing up one specific sore, but if you could share any I would GREATLY appreciate it! I've seen everything in passing from cold tea bags to trying Abreeva or Lysine on it in case it's actually a gential HSV-1 sore, but I'd prefer someone with more experience comment. Again, in summary, it's been since late January and this one bump won't fade away no matter what I do. Any advice?