Nicole2

Well its going on almost 2 months since I was diagnosed with HSV2. I considered it my first outbreak but truth is I really dont know. Its the first time I ever experienced blisters in my vaginal area but since I have been reading up on herpes I could have had it for a while. My last sexual partner just moved away a month ago and since I have disclosed to him he has stopped initiating contact. We were never in a relationship but I just thought that he would have been responsible enough to get checked out and let me know what the results are. Im slowly giving up on the fact that I might never hear back from him again leaving me to just forget about tracking down who gave it to me or who I could have given it to and move forward with the present. Initially I was devastated the first couple of weeks but I have been so busy with many things that I occasionally forget I have it. I payed attention to the signs so when I started having my second OB I immediately contacted my doctor to prescribe me medication. I currently take acyclovir for 2 days once a month (2nd OB/ 1st time on medication). Well I am trying to determine how often I will take it and currently waiting for my 3rd OB. I found out how misinformed my current primary care doctor is that is why I rely on forums and other medical sites to deal with this diagnosis. When I informed her that my current partner stated that he did not have any symptoms she informed me that I couldnt have gotten it from him because the person would have had to have had ulcer or blisters in order for me to have caught this. O-o Im still currently dating but I am not having sex with anyone or getting attached. I dont want to deal with that reality of disclosing to someone and the anxiety of imagining their reactions. My last sexual partner I disclosed to was very nice about it and even when I had a break down to him (3 days after diagnosis) he was nice but has since stopped initiating communication. If I message him he responds back. This could be because he was already moving away, my break down, diagnosis, or a little of all three but I cant worry about that right now. It has bothered me that he works in the medical profession and knew that herpes isnt tested with the regular STD screening and never got tested for it but told me he was negative for STDs. I thought I was being tested for all STDs but clearly I wasnt. Since I disclosed to him and told him he needs to get tested he said that it scared him that they might kick him out of the military if he tested positive for it but he would still get tested with a civilian doctor but I havent heard anything from him. Well now im here. When ever I feel like I want to be mad at someone I remember that I was never forced to have sexual relations with people and not see their test results. I foolishly chose to trust their word and if I am to blame someone I will have to include myself. 2 months in and its really not so bad. It really is more of an emotional thing than physical.