Hopeful89

@WCSDancer2010 @fitgirl @MissingMe I took your advice, and not a moment too soon it appears. My now EX-boyfriend (who I now see VERY clearly as someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and no that is not an exaggeration, I'm serious) decided to try and "catch" me cheating on him by asking one of his friends I didn't know to try and see what I did if he pursued me on my Instagram. Needless to say, I am not a cheater nor a liar, so I was not guilty of anything. However, my boyfriend had already made his mind up. There was really no other choice after he did that. Although I am more terrified than ever to be facing single/dating life with H, I know I will be ok eventually. I supposed I will look back and be glad I made it out of this toxic relationship eventually. But now it is still too fresh and just hurts. Thank you all for your support, I will get through this.

I wrote my first post after my discovery of having genital warts and HSV1. It had been a long road to feeling ok, but after everything cleared up my boyfriend (who was not scared off and being supportive) and I were focusing on moving forward in our relationship. Life was starting to get better. I was realizing I can still be happy. Now, I fear I may be facing the possibility of being single. I have seen another side to my boyfriend that is unrecognizable to me. He is controlling and manipulative. And I always leave our conversations feeling as though I have done something wrong. He is a man of wealth and power, and I fear his possessiveness. I'm sad. And I'm scared. I thought this was the man I'd be with for life, and I have yet to be a single person facing these two challenging diagnoses. I know I should leave this relationship, and I know herpes or genital warts is no reason to stay with somebody out of fear that no one else will accept me. But I am feeling shattered. I feel as though I can't handle any more bad news. I am so downtrodden that I feel numb. Please-I need support. I explain this to my sister and friend but they don't understand what it's like to be facing new-found singledome for the first time with two STD diagnoses. I am struggling.

@marcosad2015 First of all- just know you will be ok and you can get through this. I am only one week out from my official results coming in and I have already almost completely recovered from my first outbreak. The emotional side is where it gets tough. But just know that it gets better! You can still have a good life, this is just a pesky skin condition. As far a passing it to your family goes, it is my understanding that unless you are having close genital contact with someone, the risk of passing this to someone is incredibly low. The virus does not live long outside of the body, so passing it on toilet seats or towels is highly unlikely. All the research will show you that avoiding sex during an outbreak or when you are feeling the symptoms of an outbreak coming on is one of the best ways of preventing spreading it to your partner along with using a condom (however it is possible to shed the virus on the skin that isn't covered by a condom). Do you know if you have HSV1 or HSV2? HSV1 typically sheds less genital-to-genital. For now, make sure you are practicing good hand-hygiene. So make sure you're washing your hands after using the bathroom or touching yourself. Keep the area as clean and dry as possible, others have recommended using a blowdryer on cool-setting. Epsom salt bath for the pain can help sooth the tissues, and ice packs were my best friend at night when the inflammation seemed the worst. You will be ok! You will be in my thoughts.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I cannot even describe how much the support on this site has helped me. @catwoman32 I know how you are feeling. The depression can be overwhelming when we think about how our lives are forever changed. You are in my thoughts. Don't give in to H...life can still be good! I already am feeling more hopeful. I have recovered almost fully from my first OB, fortunately enough I started the Valtrex quickly so only one of my "ingrown hair-like" spots turned into a full blown open sore. As of now I am hoping that heals soon, it has been almost two weeks since it surfaced, but it still causes me pain. I am still dealing with some yeast infection-like symptoms. Thick white discharge accompanied by occasional itching and burning. Is this something I can attribute to H? Before my diagnosis with HSV1, my doctors were culturing me and treating me with diflucan for yeast that was recurring time and time again. My Dr. told me that my immune system may be run down right now and that is why the yeast is persisting along with the two recent outbreaks of HPV and HSV. I've noticed other people on the site have commented on discharge changes with H. Is this most likely a persistent yeast infection or could it be H related? Maybe @WCSDancer2010 can shed some light on the subject for me?

Thank you all so much. I just spoke to my doctor and I was positive for HSV1 genital, negative for HSV2. Is it safe to assume that my boyfriend gave this to me through oral sex? Since he has had coldsores in the past. Or could I have had this for some time and it just was dormant? Are there any big differences between having HSV1 versus HSV2?

@Danaaaaaasaur Thank you for letting me know I am not alone with a double-whammy diagnosis. I hope to be as lucky as you and only have minimal outbreaks. @WCSDancer2010 Thank you for the information. I can't tell you how much this website has helped me. The support and community here is really what is getting me through this right now. @Starsinhereyes I know exactly what you mean. It appears my immune system was most likely compromised because of the stress and depression of dealing with the warts that made me especially susceptible to the herpes virus. When I was little I had a horrible case of chickenpox which I actually was hospitalized for and have scars from. I understand this is a herpes virus as well, so maybe my body just can't fight this particular virus very well. I typically exercise and eat very well, however the pain of the TCA treatments for the warts and now, the unbearable pain from my first outbreak hasn't allowed me to do much exercise lately. I too fear the inevitable "herpes joke". I hope that when it happens I will be strong and not take it personally. Thank you so so so much for the support and all your kind words. You all have given me hope.

@WCSDancer2010 I know he has Oral HSV1 because he told me that he had coldsores years ago but hasn't had an active outbreak in years. Could he still have given me this through oral sex? You're right it doesn't really matter, at the end of the day I can't change what has happened. But what is the likelihood that it was him, rather me carrying both viruses for a period of time and having to back to back OB' of two different viruses? I don't know if I have HSV1 or 2, but I will find out. If I have Genital HSV1 does that mean he can't get it genitally since he has it orally? As far as the HPV goes, my gynecologist said it was highly unlikely I contracted that from my boyfriend because outbreaks of warts typically take 2-6 months to display, and at that point my boyfriend and I had only been sleeping together for 1 month. However, he could have some other kind of HPV. Is there anything I can do to shorten the length of my breakouts? Or what can I do if I feel an OB coming on other than taking Valtrex? Thank you for the support-it helps tremendously

I sit here writing this no more than thirty minutes after learning my cultures showed positive for Herpes. I feel the only thing I can do is ask for help and support from others here. About a month and a half ago, I found a bump. Being a nurse, I knew I most likely had contracted the HPV that causes genital warts. Sure enough, my gynecologist confirmed my fears. The next four days were spent in my bed, crying, feeling dirty, hopeless, alone, and depressed beyond imaginable. Having to tell my boyfriend of two months that I had exposed him to something was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. He was supportive and understanding, he said he knew I wouldn't have done anything to hurt him if I knew. He said he didn't care, and there was nothing that could change his mind about me. The next 5 weeks was a struggle as I went in for treatments to have the wart removed. It was slow progress, almost seeming as if it wasn't working. Some days I felt strong, that it was just a bump, 80% of the population has some form of HPV so why should I feel like a leper? Other days, I couldn't stop crying. I felt tainted. How could my boyfriend look at me the same? My doctor started me on an antidepressant which helped immensely. I began to realize I just needed to make it through the current outbreak I was experiencing and I could go from there. Five days ago my doctor told me at my appointment for another treatment that it was unnecessary- I was clear. I was CLEAR! I still had the virus in my body but I didn't feel ashamed of my body. Later that night-yes, I am not kidding- that night. The same day that I saw my gynecologist and was told I was visibly free of any outbreaks of any kind, I had a strong itch followed by a wince of pain. I was fearful that it was another wart beginning, although they never hurt before. Looking in the mirror, I didn't even know what I was looking at. I brushed it off, thinking ingrown hair or just a weird abrasion. The next few days, the pain grew worse, and it opened into a sore. I made an appointment with my doctor, hoping that it was just a symptom of a bad yeast infection I had been fighting for a month. But the doctor said, "I think it's herpes." I cried. I cried and cried and cried to the doctor saying how? How could this happen. Why is this happening. This CAN'T be happening. A million thoughts raced through my mind. My life is once again turned upside down. Now I don't have to battle one virus, but two. How will I tell my boyfriend this. I just gave him the good news about being free of any warts, and now I have to tell him this? He listened to me in shock as I cried and apologized. Initially he was upset, I think it was the fear and surprise. But later that night, he told me we will get through this. Whether I accidentally give it to him, or he was the one (he's never had an OB and tested negative in the recent pass, so its unlikely he gave it to me) he wasn't going to leave me. At this point, I accept that I have not only HPV, but also herpes. The pain of my first outbreak is my biggest problem right now- so terrible it hurts to walk, I fear showering and having to pee. I have my mom and sister who know and support me, and my boyfriend. I will deal with this current OB and hope that with time they become less frequent and less painful. I see people who suffer from STD's in a new light now. I am sorry to have judged anyone in the past-this is NO reflection on how people live their lives. As others have written on this website, I am the sufferer or two unfortunate skin conditions in a taboo location. After learning more about these conditions, it is scary to think how many people could be walking around not even knowing they have something. People don't realize. And perhaps if they did, they wouldn't cast judgments either. Thank you for this wonderful website, and everyone's kind words of encouragement. I hope I will adjust.