trash

I just looked in th mirror after a particularly stressful day. I had a pimple breakout, okay. Fine I'm used to that. The corner of my mouth feels sore and heavy. Maybe I bit it? Upon closer inspection, it is a collection of small white bumps on the inside, and on my outer lip there's a cluster of small, watery pimple like things. I played with fire this week. I was under pressure, so I ventured off to my ex's house to escape my chaotic home. One thing lead to another, and I was fine with it. We had lots of sex before this point, (he is hsv 1 and 2 positive) and I never had any symptoms. We broke up last week, and I was actually out there and talking to new people... Anyways. I'm in the shower and my vag itches. Like really itches, so I reach down to give it a soothing rub and guess what? That shit HURT. The day before I had been trying to convice myself that this sore throat was happening because it had been a full week without shoving this dude's huge dick down my throat and pretending to care, satisfying his weird whims for like 5 seconds of faux kindness from this egotistical douchebag... But no, I'm sore. It hurts. I cried. I feel alone because earlier I had not even mentioned my symptoms, (because he got mad every time i mentioned my concerns after scare number 4) - and we got in a stupid argument over echo and the bunnymen of all things... And i wanted to tell him about this but he's such an asshole, i wish i had some support. I never had any kind family members in my life, and the friends i have, i dont know if they would be understanding. I should have left him 2-3 months in, not 6 months I should be having fun and fucking around, but i had to fuck up And now i have to tell the person i kind of liked about this Cause before this "relapse" into my ex's shitty cluthes, not but a few days before- this super nice guy had been talking to me and we had been connecting rather deeply. We've both recently left abusive relationships, and we had so much. I Sucked his dick before i had these symptoms, but we hadn't gone whole way. How do i tell him about this? He was already like hey, youre awesome! Whats the catch? (Said jokingly) fuck. I feel like shit. My lip is swollen and gross and burning, my vag is sore, my throat is sore. This is my fault. so. I what are your experiences like?

Relationship isn't working out* haha imagine

I am 20 years old, and I took a bit of a gamble on this older guy with hsv 1 and 2. In my mind, I thought I was prepared because, I mean the chances that I had already come in contact with it.. I kinda brushed it off and well. In the beginning we were very careful, nothing for weeks if he had an active ob, and we used protection whenever we had contact... After a while we stopped because I was on birth control, and my depression kinda told me "ah just fuck it, it's already a risk - go for it"... aand fast forward 3 months later, when the relationship is working out. After 2 straight months of uti's, flu's, and worry- my labia hurts and last night I could not stop throwing up and having cold sweats. I can't cry. I did this to myself, and he was a nice guy- it's just we were so different and he made me feel like I meant something, and his stability as a person was enticing to a wreck such as myself. Now I'm a herp. My first test was taken two months in, just to rule out if I had it before, and it was negative so we continued. I am waiting until August/September to take another, but I am fully aware of how inaccurate these tests are. I just feel like utter shit. Anyone else on this boat?