ano1107

So 4 months in the unknown.. Thank you for all the information. At least I have something conclusive... there's nothing I can do for another 4 months or an OB.. If that even ever happens. Thank you...

Thank you for all the information I really appreciate it.

and what I meant by falling into that 80% was I know I have HSV 1 but finding out if it is just the oral 80 percent or the type 1 in the life changing area. On top of waiting 4 months to find out about 2 and then finding out just what and where and everything idk my brain is just on overload.. And have to get back to supervising.... Thanks

Blughhh... It's the VA so my test results were an email saying you only have hsv1 not 2 .... And unfortunately/fortunately I don't have any lesions or anything from them to swab.. Also I have never had a cold sore in my life (I understand that doesn't mean a person doesn't have it) but doesn't that lower the odds of falling into that 80 that have if? Idk maybe not I've been so busy at work I haven't been able to do any research actually I'm here now blegh. I just want definitive answers on what I have and don't have. I came to terms and accepted what I had and have been doing my best to move on but its like I can't get out of this starter phase over and over. I accepted everything and was moving on and I feel like I'm just being tossed around its so frustrating... Thank you for all your words and help wcsdancer I truly appreciate it. (Sorry about all the venting again blagh I just don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff...) Thanks -Andy ;{

So my Dr emailed me after doing blood/urine/plasma testing last week and I letthe days pass because I was sure of what the result would be that I would have hsv2 and just wanted to know if I had one also and come to find out that I don't have hsv2 I only have hsv1..? I don't know what this news is if it changes anything I know for the most part it doesn't I still have a lot to research but I just needed to tell someone I don't know I'm at work and things are going semi alright at work getting back into things my anxieties just been really bad and I have numerous doctors appointments for prior surgeries from 3 plates and 12 screwsI had to have put in my face and remove except for 2/screws that vroke off at their headsand they're causing trouble along with the implant they had to put in under my cheek so its not sunk in but that's something I've been dealing with for the past years now and a different story... I guess finding out its hsv1 and not to just kind of confuses me even though I guess it doesn't really change anything at all.. Idk just needed to vent I guess. Thanks.. -Andy

@wcsdancer2010 thank you so much. I saved that picture and actually made it my background. I love it :] thank you so much!! Also my mother was a nurse and she was disgusted when she heard the same about him giving a visual diagnosis. Now this may sound weird but remember I had a roudy past 26 yrs and my mom was having me get tested prior to me even having sex every month when I was a youngster so we have a solid and comfortable relationship when It comes to certain things (this one was the only rough convo) but when she saw she said she agreed with the dr but none the less I need to be properly tested which I already had scheduled an appointment monday because im eager to find out the exact detailed info. I have a little ocd so I want to know exactly where I fall on the scale if its just 2 or 1 also just a million things. I just got out of the shower and this new joy is causing havoc on my shower process I always do things an exact way and I now switch it from washing top down (im one of thosehour shower clean freaks) to top to bottom but then that area at the end in fear like itsgoing to move to my feet.. I also wash my hands after i dry off. I know I may be over doing it or maybe not but id rather be safe than sorry I guess. Luckily the outbreak which ive read your first is typically the worst is actually a small area on me luckily. Idk if all OBs will be like this or if ill ever have another I know time can only tell but monday ill atleast get a few tests done so I have comfort of mind knowing the specifics. Ive accepted it is what it is, I just wanna be more educated on my own body and for me that means numbers graphs and facts lol. Strange how having all of you on here can actually allow me to type "lol" all of you are amazing. I am so glad I came here. I can't explain how much help you all have been and kind and sweet and just so genuine. You are all special people to reach out to a complete stranger and I want each of you to know you have touched my heart and made my life better. You all are amazing :] @dazednewbi no problem im glad I could do something for you I hope it helped and hope you get to feeling better. I just want to give back all that I can. If you ever need anything im always here for you. :] And that goes for all of you guys, feel free to reach out to me any time I will always be here for you guys even if you didnt write and are just reading this. If ya just need someone to talk to im always here :] You all probably saved me months with an additional psychologist and thousands of dollars. I dont think I can drop anything else on my current psych. lol I feel good because of you guys. I hope you guys know the power of your words. They are truly healing. Now im blabbling thanks again everyone. Much Love :]

I meant to include this im sure you've done research but I did a bit on your residual pain after your sores are gone DazedNewbi ... I hope this helps :0 .. it wouldn't let me copy the link for some reason but its the second page on this google search that may shed some light on ur pain possibly due to nerve damage. Remember its the second search result https://www.google.com/search?q=pain+after+herpes+outbreak

Wow. I seriously am at a loss for words. I can't explain how muxh every single comment has meamt to me. I have read them all over a dozen times and tear up with eaxh one. I just want to thank all of you. Anna, your continued positive words and help making me feel like im not a jack*ss with my questions and continued support you offer :] means so much. Sil88 thank you for giving me guidance and helping me keep focused on what you actually nailed right on the head which is getting to know someone deeper, its like you know me lol thank you so much. Dazed thank you for your honesty and opening up as well. Telling my mother and brother was hard, but ive learned that carrying something around weighs you down so much. So if its in your heart to tell her than do so. It may be hard at first but alot of times your mind goes to the worst possible outcome. Youll be surprised what truly happens many times. I've learned being open, honest, and transparent most of all make the load of life so much lighter. :] If any of you guys evdr need anything please let me know. You all have become basically my family/best friends. You are all amazing people and have made this experience that I am 4 days into and will live with forever so much easier. You are all such a blessing. Im staying strong and I just want to thank you guys for being a major part of my rock right now. :] whew... life... Here we go.. :]

Thank you Anna.. I cant explain how much your words have helped the past two days.. I can go a few hours feeling normal now and I know that will grow. I want to write a longer reply because your message was so sweet and comforting but I had some random question thats probably dumb.. but can it spread to your like eyes? Or mouth? I mean I know a little about mouth which I dont have, but I dont see me doctor for another week and some Internet research which has been contradictory at times. Anna I cant explain how much your message meant to me. I see 19 views and felt how I feel when im in public.. stared at like everyone knows.. where everyone on here does know but its just reversed. Thank you again todays day 3 and I've told my brother and he was understanding and asking questions which some I knew from research and others im still learning. Im feeling better and hoping to return to work soon. I have been praying and its helped. I'm hoping God turns what I feel as a curse into a blessing in my heart. I know Hes just telling me patience. Thanks Anna and everyone for just being there and being a support net. :] -Andy

So my name is Andy. First off I guess I'll start off with I am a 26 year old Iraq Combat Veteran. I suffer from pretty severe anxiety disorder, ptsd, and agoraphobia (fear of basically going outside and associating with people). Over the past three yearsdoctors have come up with a daily cocktail of high doses of klonopin, gabapentin, and a few other medications I typically don't take except sometimes to sleep. I finally felt normal and have been extremely successful in my work life. I had a pretty bad breakup a little over a year ago, which made me decide to move to a tiny country town with little to no drama instead of my city life. Anyways, I went 12 months alone with work and netflix, until this past weekend I kinda broke loose. When I was younger and living in Hawaii, basically my while life until this past year I had been very sexually active and never used protection. I never had a scare or anything remotely close. My mom was a nurse so I started getting tested at 14 monthly and my parents were swingers so sex was nothing foreign to me especially at a young age. I'm sorry I know this is dragging on. So this past week I knew something wasnt right. I went to work yesterday and fept like I need to go to the hospital. I had some rough sex for about 2 hours :/ so I assumed it was just bruised but the small crack in the skin made me a little worried but not as much as the pain. I have never had pain like this. So I told work I had to go and fogured it was just an infection since I wasnt being nearly as active as I had ever been my whole life. It was so awkward going into the hospital for the first time and telling them why I was there. It was the quickest and worst visit to the hospital of my life. Awaiting some samples being taken and a few tests.. no... the Dr. came in took one look and same onr word ill never forget in his saddened tone.. .. yepp... .. .. . I say yep what? I was still fighting it... and all I heard was.. you have herpes. I layed back covered my face with my arms and bawled my eyes out. I could hear him talking but all I heard was just a humming noise. He walked out the room. I was covered in tears and saw a box of tissue. I went to reach for it and immediately became mortified. My slight ocd came in and I thought if he see's me touching the box will he just throw it away. I got my papers n ran to my car. I called my mom took out my sorrow and anger on her... I then apologized when she started bawling too. So im trying to accept it and not skip down to the rest of my sex life being... idk... if there is any I got on here and read many first times, most being females and watched some videos dance had replied and posted for them. It helped. Today is the first full day knowing abd adding the 5 pills a day to my cocktail. I plan on telling just my brother later today too. When I was younger I always told myself if I ever got herpes or hiv something I couldnt get rid of i'd just.. be gone... but being more mature and knowing that was an immature thought now im just at a painful confused depressed place. Im not asking why me. I am.. but in reality im not. Im accepting. But it just makes me feel like.. I dont even want to have a penis at this point. I feel dirty and ocd I wash my hadd constantly I worry about touching or adjusting myself through layers of clothes... idk.... idk what to do. I'd of given everything I had in the world to not have this. Which im sure everyone feels. Idk im just at a loss for words. Thanks for letting me share. -Andy