divastated

Thanks Cedar, I appreciate you answering my questions. And I loved the quote. I just want this initial freakout to be over, also CBK, I have to say I didnt know much about HSV-2 until I found out I have it so I am trying to be as understanding with him as he is trying to be with me. And he is still with me - he didnt run - so theres hope I think. I just hate this limbo we are in, when his results come back we can make an informed decision about where to go from here. I was leaning towards just walking away if he doesnt have it, but my son gave me some great advice - he said let my guy decide if he wants to be with me, dont take that decision away from him. I so appreciate this site!

I am a 57 year old woman who is divorced, always have been overweight, and finally in 2010 I went through a gastric bypass and lost 88 pounds. Finally after all these years my confidence came back!! I last saw my ex in March 2012, met my new guy in November. He told me he had been tested for std's so I thought I should go do that to have a clean bill of health to show him in return. Well in Jan I tested negative for everything except Herpes 2 and the weird thing is I have never had an outbreak that I know of. My new guy and I have had unprotected sex already. Well turns out his doctors office told him that because his white blood count has never been elevated when he has his routine testing (cholesterol, etc.) that he is disease free. How could a doctors office be so uneducated? Anyway, we are still seeing each other and he is getting tested this coming Monday. I am devastated by this and our relationship was coming along so well, now is weird. He tells me hes sorry he cant have sex with me and held me the other night while I cried about it. I cant find any reliable realistic info that tells me how safe sex is without outbreaks, how not to buy into the fear about this. I think this is a man I could be with forever, and I wonder if he will resent me if he doesnt have it and I end up giving it to him, I kinda hope he has it too but I feel so selfish and guilty about felling that way!! My confidence in him, myself, fairness, God, even life itself is wavering on the brink. I would never kill myself, but I am feeling that my life is over when I felt I had found someone who is not a jerk after all these years of abuse and low self esteem, thanks for letting me vent. Could someone tell me the truth, is there any evidence that someone can catch h2 by going down on them if there are never any symptoms?