kay928

Everyone is so positive but I am so fucking angry. At myself. At everything. I want to be okay but I'm so fucking mad.

Thank you so so so much! @ihaveitoo

I wish I could afford this thing. I mean, don't get me wrong...talking to y'all is great. Reading stories that let me know that I'm not alone is also great. But I'm sure a lot of of us people with H don't have thousands of dollars to drop on a weekend. I just want to see y'all and meet y'all. I want to look into someone's eyes that have H and not see the shame I see when I look in the mirror. I want to be around people that love themselves regardless of this disease, because maybe they can show me how I can love myself too.

Thank you everyone: @WCSDancer2012 , @whitedaises , and @bluessinger. I feel so stupid for feeling so upset since I see it's so common...it's just the way people will look at me. I think the worst feeling in the world would to be have someone that I love tell me that they can't love me because of this disease. Something I can never change and could have prevented. But thank you, really. It's nice to not have to look someone in the eyes and say this stuff. Lol

@steve1101 Unfortunately, I really don't. I have lived in small southern town all my life. I've gone a few great places but formed no bonds. The rule about this damn town is that you're forever stuck in this damn town. Hotel California.

@Bluessinger well the good new is that if we're both alone together, we're not alone at all, right?

@whitedaises It said: HSV-2- Specific Ab, IgG (L-163147); Value: 3.81 That's it though..? And exploring sex? Yes. Exploring uprotected sex? No. I feel like that girl that girl with daddy issues always too trashed to do the right thing. It's fucking karma. Thank you, though. I'm glad I'm not alone. I just wished we had our own physical community so I wouldn't feel so isolated where I am...

I just found out I have HSV-2 yesterday. And I'm really distraught, even xanax isn't really taking the edge off...I just really don't understand. I mean, I know it's my fault. I'm not one of those sad cases where I got it from a cheating boyfriend or someone lied to me...I was a trashy whore for about 6 months and I have no idea who gave to me or when I get it or whatever because I've never had an OB. I just went in for a routine blood work and bam...I'm sobbing while type this because I am completely alone. I'm 22 in 9 days (happy birthday to me) and my family are so religous that they already think im going to hell for not being a virgin. I have no one. And I've been wanting to just not be here for awhile now and this really doesn't help. Someone please help me. Please.