lovingthroughfear

Hey there @2Legit2Quit and @WCSDancer2010 - finally responding, sorry about the delay! (I got super busy there for a while...) I just called my area PP and they do not offer the type-specific test. I am in the process of figuring out if my PCP would be willing to order it for me... otherwise I guess I need to go doctor-shopping! :-P Thanks so much for the feedback, both of you. Really appreciate it.

@WCSDancer2010 & @2Legit2Quit - how can I learn more about the stats for type-specific IgG Elissa test? Is there a specific website you'd recommend I go to, to learn more about it? I've also heard about this Western Blot test. What do you think of that? Is it necessary to explore that if I do the IgG Elissa test at least 4 months out from the time I suspect I contracted H? Also, which type? I'm assuming I should test for HSV-2? It seems like that's the one that's more concerning, since it can spread more easily genitally. Is that correct?

Hey there! Third post in what I suppose is my flurry of introductory posts here. :-P When I had my first OB the doctor at PP did a swab test, and it came back negative likely because it was late in the OB and they were already starting to heal. I received follow-up paperwork asking me to come back at the end of September for a blood test. When I came to my appointment as they'd specified, the nurse warned me that 1) my insurance might not cover the test, 2) it's very expensive, and 3) it's inaccurate. I asked to see the doctor to discuss this, and she didn't say much more than that she thought it'd be better to get me swabbed again right when an OB is happening. What's your take on all of this??? Is the blood test inaccurate?? With very mild symptoms on and off (prodromal) and no indication of blisters, how the hell am I supposed to know for sure if I have HSV?! This is SUPER frustrating, so I want to hear about what others have heard here, what kind of testing they'd recommend I get done, etc. Thank you!!!

Earlier this year I separated from my husband, and I also was in the process of attending a trade school for a career change. As of June/July, I was almost done with school and had just been hired somewhere amazing, so I was feeling very hopeful about my life moving forward. I was also beginning to want to be adventurous with meeting people and dating. I met my husband when I was really young, so I'd never dated anyone, never mind hooked up. (He'd been my first and only sexual partner at that point.) I wanted to embrace my sexuality and see what I liked and disliked... responsibly. I met an acquaintance of a friend at a bar while I was out dancing (something I love to do). We hit it off and had ridiculous attraction to one another right away. As I was just getting ready to move away, and he was just in town visiting, I was having feelings of wanting to have a short-term fling, and he was as well. I made sure that he had condoms, and went back to his place. The condom broke, but he noticed right away and replaced it. He was respectful of my concerns when that happened... clearly he didn't think he had herpes, because he was unfazed. Other than what happened after our get-together, it was an amazing time - thankfully the positives that I took away from that experience have stayed with me also. He told me that I was unbelievably sexy and he hoped that where I was moving, I'd find someone who thought the same about me and told me so every day. (The reason I'm telling this is because it's just amazing how much of a mixed bag this experience was.) Well. I did notice that I was really swollen down there for many days after it happened, and I just attributed that to 1) the rough nature of our encounter and/or 2) that I hadn't had sex in a while. It dissipated after about 2-3 days. About 1.5 weeks later, during the first week of my job, I noticed that I was feeling really raw down there, and that it felt tender to wipe after using the bathroom. At a certain point it even got uncomfortable to sit down. I have an autoimmune skin condition called Lichen sclerosis which affects the skin down there, which is ALSO affected by stress (!!!!! just my luck, right?!?) so at first I figured that the stress of moving and the new job had caused that to flare up, but once the discomfort with sitting occurred I was like "no way, this is too weird" and took a look down there. I was ASTONISHED to see those little clusters of blisters. Called PP right away, and the closest appointment they had was for 5 days away. I groaned, because I was thinking the OB might be over by then, but agreed to the appointment anyways. Thankfully the doctor on staff saw the remnants of the blisters, took swabs, and told me "yeah, that really looks like it's herpes..." The swab testing came back negative, of course, because it was too late in the OB to get a good culture. At first I was sure that my life as I knew it was over. I was full of self-judgement and shame. This guy had only been my 2nd sexual partner EVER. How could this be happening to me??! I was worried that I'd be judged as promiscuous by anyone who'd ever find out about this. I am still struggling with this. I also grew up in a narcissistic, personality-disordered family, so I've finally gotten to the point where I'm starting to have confidence about my innate self-worth without having to be approved by someone for everything, or without having to be error-free and perfect at every turn. And now this. In my good moments I can see what I have to offer, but in my moments of doubt my flaws and baggage (fucked up family, divorce-in-process, history of depression/anxiety/perfectionism/insecurity) seem like they far outweigh my lovability. My friends tell me that I deserve someone great, but when saddled with my doubts I often tell myself that that speaks more to their kindness than to what they actually see in me. Herpes has seemed like it'll be the straw that breaks the camel's back, in terms of someone being willing to be my partner in life. I have questions, and have posted another concern in the disclosures section, but for now I guess I just wanted to get my story off my chest. I admire everyone's bravery here, and hope that I can emulate the confidence that some people here seem to have achieved. Thanks for reading.

Hey everyone. I've so enjoyed reading all the posts here, and I'm grateful that this supportive community exists!! This is my first discussion thread. I'm gonna post my story and ask some questions at a later point, but here's my most pressing issue. I have experienced HSV-like symptoms for about 3 months now, with what seemed to be the primary OB in mid-July. Due to bad timing on the swab test (blisters were already healing over) and some ambivalence on the part of my doctor as to the effectiveness of the blood test, I have been left in limbo. I am experiencing prodromal symptoms especially when extra stressed or sleep-deprived, and at the time of initial OB the doctor prescribed acyclovir, which definitely seemed to help. Examined the nether regions a few days ago, and looked like I might be healing from another outbreak, but I have no idea because I didn't really feel uncomfortable like the first. So it SEEMS LIKE I have HSV... I'm 95% sure that's what's going on. (All other STD tests came back negative, thank god.) HERE'S THE ISSUE. I'm starting to date this sweet, gentle guy. We are taking it really slow due to both of us recently getting out of long relationships/marriages... I don't think either one of us expected to find someone we liked so much so soon. He really needs time to open up and trust someone before becoming physical. I totally respect that, and due to MY situation, I am completely on the same page! However, I'm scared and don't know what to do for a few reasons. 1) I haven't had a formal diagnosis yet, so I'm not sure how to handle the discussion. "I have been experiencing symptoms of HSV genitally but I'm not sure yet... here are the facts anyways"? 2) Since he's slow to trust people, I'm questioning when the timing of the talk should be. Too early (before we really explore our physical attraction to one another) and it'll seem out of place; too late and I feel like I'm risking violating the trust that he's built up with me, and there's a lot more at stake, because at that point we might be losing a very good relationship. Please, please, please... I need feedback about how others have handled the conversation on either one of the points I've defined above. I am so scared, and didn't expect to find someone this great, really. I would like to have the conversation in a way that is good for both of us, and meets as many needs as possible.