ggrib1924

Update-- my wifes test finally came back. She tested positive for H1--but not H2. :) The Dr was astounded because the outbreak was so bad and in the 'wrong area' for typical H-1 cases. I went to my family Dr to get tested-- but she told me there was no point given the situation and our history. I don't think her Dr apologized for his initial reaction, but it seemed he realized he was in the wrong and had to eat a little crow. She is still healing from her initial outbreak but is much better after 1 week. My concerns now are how often this will happen? and how her reaction and worry about spreading it to me or other family is going to affect our sex life and family dynamics. I guess time will tell. To all: thanks for all the supportive messages and info.

Hey ggrib1924 I know this has to be such a confusing time. Let me assure you that it is absolutely possible she got it 30 years ago and it didn't reveal itself until now. Some people never show symptoms. So she hasn't gotten her results back yet? How is she sure it is HSV? What are her symptoms? Don't stress too much until you know her results. A visual diagnosis is not good enough. Doctors do misdiagnose sometimes. However, if it comes back +....trust me it is no biggie. You both have each other. Don't let a rash stop you from expressing your love physically :) Let me say my opinion on whether or not to abstain from sex. I would say at this point, you two have been together for a very long time. It sounds like you don't plan on going anywhere. So abstaining from sex, I feel, is unnecessary. You love this woman and are married to her. When put into perspective, this is simply a rash. It can become painful for some but you are devoted to her. So if she does have HSV I would say continue to live your lives together the way you always have. You have been going strong this long. Why stop that? Also, if she comes back +, you should get tested too. It is quite possible that you too are an asymptomatic carrier. Then you both don't have to overthink precautions. Her being paranoid about transmitting to your grandchild is totally normal. She is not a walking disease. It is impossible to give your grand baby herpes through changing a diaper! This is a phase your wife is going through. The more knowledge she gains the more the worry will pass. It takes a little time. I admire your support through this whole thing and I hope that the results come back negative. We are here for you no matter what though. Stay strong. -Anna Definitely a confusing time. And yes, most definitely I am not going anywhere. I will definitely get tested. If we both are positive, am I right in thinking there'll be no need for precautions? (ie of course other than abstaining during outbreaks). Thanks so much for your comments and support.... very encouraging.

Thanks for your comments and answers. They are very helpful.

My wife's gyno diagnosed her with HV2 earlier this week. Aside from the physical pain, the thing that most hurt her is the Dr doesn't believe her when she told him she has only had sex with her husband for the last 30 years and that neither she nor I ever had an affair. I was a virgin when we married. She had 2 previous partners prior to our marriage. We took/take our vows to each other and God very seriously. So, needless to say, the news hit her (and me) like a 2x4 across the head. Can HV2 lay dormant for 30 years? I have not been tested yet--and her tests have not come back yet. We are hoping/praying the Dr's diagnosis is wrong. But if it is correct we have a lot of questions-- If I test negative, and her tests prove positive-- is it futile for us to think and try to prevent my getting it from her? ie is it just a matter of time? My primary thought right now is am I facing a question of "is HIV painful enough, for me to consider having a sexless marriage from here out?" We are both in our early 50s. Or, "if her passing it to me is inevitable, do we not even attempt to prevent it?" It is possible that she can infect our grandchild whom she babysits 3-4 days/week just thru casual contact during an outbreak? (ie sharing a drink, food? changing the diapers? etc) I tend to think she is going overboard in thinking she can never share drink/food with me or anyone else ever again. I have 110% confidence in her, and she in me, that however this may have been acquired, that it wasn't acquired during our engagement, dating, or marriage. But, I have concerns that her shame/guilt will prevent us from ever being as active as we want to be--and do the things we so enjoyed for 20 yrs-- like she'll never give/receive oral again. For the men that have it, is it bad enough that if you had it to do over, would you abstain if you knew you were going to catch it, would you choose abstinence over sex+HV2?