Bec

Every time someone new comes into my life, someone that I feel there is potential with I get anxiety because I knew things could very easily become sexual. I think I get more anxiety in the time period that we are we talking and they don't know that I have H than when I actually have "the talk" with them. Every time I'm faced with telling a new partner, I battle within myself rather or not they really need to know. I mean, I take extremely good care of myself, take meds everyday and I would never have sex with them without a condom. The option of not telling them always crosses my mind, but I know its not the right thing to do and I know I would rather face rejection than have to deal with the guilt of being deceitful with a person, the way someone was once deceitful with me! I tell every single partner (and so should you) So here is my most recent disclosure: I met a guy (a very very attractive guy) who lives in a different city, but works for the same company I do. It was an immediate physical attraction. We talked here and there and attended a few of the same meetings, but that's about it! He went back home, but he stayed on my mind for weeks to come. I added him on social media and he quickly started a conversation that eventually lead to texting and phone calls and lead to him telling me he was interested in me etc. We talked and got to know each other for 1 week (not very long) and than we made plans for him to come down and see me! I knew once we started making plans for him to make a trip I had 2 options- 1) Tell him face to face once he was here, which is the method I prefer, or 2) tell him via phone call. I felt like option 2 would be the best route to go given our situation. If me having H was something he wasn't comfortable with we could save the money and the time that a trip down here would cost. I shot him a text telling him I wanted to talk, asked him to remain openminded and to hear me out, once I knew he was available to talk I called him. Depending on the person and the vibes I get from them "the talk" always goes a little different. No matter what the vibes are or who the man is, I always remain confident! This convo started out with me saying "So, there's something I want you to know about me and I feel its important I tell you now because you are about to take a trip out here and I can see us being intimate with each other" and went on to say "I would never have sex with you without you knowing...." and he interrupted me! He said "are you about to tell me you have Herpes" I was a little shocked at that but replied with "yes, yes I am" He went on to tell me that this was something he had experienced before, someone telling him that she had herpes and he told me that he was open and still "got it on" with her. He also told me he experienced a time where a women didn't tell him until after they had sex and thankfully nothing came of it. He asked me questions (which I love) like when was my last OB, how often do I have them, and if I was on medications. I was completely honest with all of my answers. Fast forward a week later, he came down and we had an amazing weekend together full of tons of safe sex. I hope this encourages you to ALWAYS tell your partners about your diagnosis, and I hope that this gives you hope that not all men are going to run away from you (actually very very few of them will run away). Many of them have already experienced something similar and already know how they are going to handle it. You are still desirable, and worthy or great sex ;)

It all started a few months back, I was fresh out of a relationship and was easing my way back into the dating scene when my friend suggested she introduce me to her boyfriends best friend. She told me a little about him and showed me some photos, even at a quick glance I was 100% in, he was HOT! The only downfall was that he lived in a different state. I still thought that it would be fun, even if it didn't really go anywhere. She told him about me, sent him my pictures and not even 5 minutes later I got a text message from him! I honestly thought that this was going to be nothing serious at all. We would talk, flirt a little and then it would die down, but our connection was insane. I had never felt this connection with ANYONE before, not even my ex boyfriend of 2 years! We we're texting, calling each other and FaceTimeing any chance that we got! We started talking about arranging for him to come down and vice versa. In the back of my mind I knew that when we met in person sex would be an option. My struggle was deciding rather I should tell him in person that I had an STI or if i should get it out of the way while we were apart! My theory was if it was something he didn't want to risk we wouldn't have to waste a trip and could end it there! I was having such a hard time debating when I should tell him. I tried seeking advice, but knew that I had to do what I felt right! I wanted to tell him over FaceTime, it was the closet thing to in person as we could get! One day he said something via text (I can't really remember what it was) & I thought to myself, He needs to know, I need to tell him now, and so I did! I was so nervous, the fear of rejection didn't scare me as much as the fear of losing this amazing person! My heart was pounding and not even a minute later he responded with "Im glad you told me, but that changes nothing about the way I feel about you or the way I look at you"! I don't wanna say I was shocked, that was the type of response I was hoping for, I was so releived! I proceeded to tell him that I wanted him to take time and think about it! He, responded with "whats there to think about? Your my everything and I wanna be with you no matter what"! I've never felt more wanted than I did in that moment, here is a person who is truly in it for me! He doesn't care about anything I bring to the table, as long as I'm there! I wanted to share my story to bring you hope, to shed the light on the fact that there are people out there who will choose to be with you despite the fact! Give them a chance to know you, to see the person that you truly are! If they choose not to be with you still, then they are simply not the person for you, but don't give up because there is someone who is going to love you through it all, and that my friends are the type of people we want and need! xoxoxo