lostinthought_1986

Before i begin let me apologize ahead of time for my grammar and punctuation. My story starts when i was 20 years old my girlfriend at the time decided to cheat on me multiple times and me being the idiot that i was took her back multiple times. We had been dating since i was a teenager and i thought i was in love. I caught herpes after she hooked up with some guy online apparently. The best way i guess i could describe the feeling was absolute horror and disbelief almost like you feel flush and your blood is draining from your body and you feel like you're going to faint. I of course finally ended it and tried to move on with my life. I started taking acyclovir and realized with a proper diet, rest, and antivirals i could at least live a life with few break outs. My break outs now come on about once every other month but with the antivirals it never gets too bad before it goes away. Dating for the last 9 years has been hit or miss i feel like im an attractive guy and i have things going for me but this is always in the back of my head. The last couple serious relationships i was in i fully disclosed the situation and they at the time seemed to be so in love that it didn't matter. When things weren't as great in the relationship though they would throw it in my face and say things like " at least im not a slut like you, at least i don't have herpes". I ended those relationships because the girls didn't seem to be as understanding as they originally made them selves appear. Even though things weren't perfect in life i tend to be an optimist and just kept carrying on. Well now im finally finishing up the medical program im in and want a wife, kids, a nice home the whole deal that comes with having a family. I simply don't know what to do. Yes there are dating sites for positive singles but i don't want to put my face on a site like that. This is a very private thing and it's not exactly something you want your family to know about. I'm 29 in good shape with a good job and i know i would be a great father and husband so i don't feel that this should be some huge task. Girls hit on me but i never take advantage of it because i know i will eventually have to tell them if we go to that level. I find my self pre-programmed to emotionally detach my self from someone before it gets to that point. If anyone has advice on dating, marriage, kids while having this disease id appreciate it. I guess i don't really even expect responses i just needed to vent i don't have anyone in my life i can even talk about this with.