Loner29

Well guys it's a year later my child's father and I split. Which killed me

They did a blood test and eye swab on bby both came back negative but insisted on doing the spinal just to be 100 % sure. Which I didn't understand. But I just wanted the best for my daughter I wanted to know she was gonna be ok. Now if I find out they didn't need to put her threw that then I'll be infuriated. I'm just relieved she's healthy. I started antivirals a couple days ago. I'm starting to accept things more although I have my moments where I'll just break down an cry for a while.. my boyfriend always asks what's wrong with me but I hate to talk about it because I get even more emotional about it. think I'm gonna be ok an b more accepting in a few months. All my friends think I have the baby blues but in all reality if I didn't have H I think I would feel just fine mentally. I love being a mother more than anything. I keep telling myself it always could b worse. Thank you all for your input @wcsdancer2010 @2legit2quit

Definitely I was truly devastated. .. finding out I had herpes is one thing but finding out I could've potentially gave it to my child is in a league of its own. @lifegoeson3

That's bs I really think in all states it should be mandatory to be tested..!! Especially because it's such a serious threat to babies.

@2legit2quit I'm 25 years old and also my doctor at the hospital wasn't the same women I have been seeing for all my prenatal appointments.& you are absolutely right I'm glad I did have them check it out. Things could've been very different. I'm most certainly lucky.

Thanks so much 2legit2quit for your insight & I wondered the same thing about my Dr but at the time soooo much was going on for me to even ask that question but I sure will... and they did a swab on the lesion at the hospital.and I don't know if this has anything to do with it but I think my immune system is ver strong I haven't got sick with like the flu or a cold for as long as I can remember

Hey guys! So I was just diagnosed with hsv2 and found out in the worst way possible.im 25 years old I just had a beautiful healthy baby girl. I was scheduled for induction on November 2nd. about a week prior I felt some discomfort in my genital area, it was painful to walk or sit, but I just blew it off as a cyst because I have a history of them I even went to the hospital years back because I had a cyst on my genitals and they even told me it was one, well I'm not to sure about that now but anyways I get in the delivery room to get ready for my induction and I tell the doctor about this "cyst" I had so she proceeds to examine it..then calls a couple more people in to assist before you know it I had a whole room full of doctors/interns staring at my vag.. pretty embarrassing. And scary. So they leave to go consult and come back a few minutes later and says it's best If they did a csection just incase it was herpes. I break down crying just from that..I'm scared confused but in denial about the possibility that I could have herpes. Mind you my boyfriend/ child's father is there supporting me as he should..but I'm just wondering /afraid of what's going threw his mind you know?. So the csection went good beautiful baby girl like I said...so a couple days later ( I was still in the hospital) a Dr comes into my room when my boyfriend goes out to smoke and reveals to me that my test came back hsv2 positive and they weren't sure if it was my first outbreak or not so as a precaution they had to take my baby to the nicu and do a spinal tap on my poor newborn baby to make 100% sure that she was not infected.. I ges if it were to be my first outbreak it could've been exposed to my placenta.. I completely broke down I was so disgusted with myself how could I have let this happen ? What could I have done to change the present?? So my poor baby had to go to the nicu and b started on antivirals just as a precaution.. my boyfriend comes back and I had to tell him that I had herpes. I felt gross I felt disgusted with myself, disappointed, scared, hopeless, scum of the earth..we didn't speak for 3 hours after I was to busy crying my eyes out trying to make sense of all this but at that point I was not concerned about my well being but extremely worried about my baby. Me & him finally talked about it and I felt a little better after because he was very understanding & supportive..all though he did question if I cheated on him but when the doctor came back up she explained to him I could've gotten this disease years ago or he could've even given it to me..I should probably mention my X boyfriend of 6 years probably gave it to me years ago he's given me multiple stds. But I will never know. so the next day was my discharge day.. I had to leave the hospital with out my beautiful baby girl. The most horrible feeling I think I've ever felt.. ofcoarse the next day we went down to see our baby.. that was difficult. Seeing such a tiny person connected to a IV, heart monitors... hurt my heart. the thought of her getting this huge needle in her back alone crushed my heart. So about a hour into my visit her nurse comes in & gives me the best news it wasn't my first outbreak so there's no way the disease was passed to her so I was able to take her home!!!! That moment I will never forget.ever. I busted into tears of joy..never have I done that before. Holding my child so tight thanking god over & over for letting her be ok.. so we get to go home & as I'm so thankful for her being healthy MY diagnosis hits me I start thinking to myself I really have herpes. I cry & cry I talk to my boyfriend he assures me that everything is going to be ok.. but that doesn't change the fact that I feel undesirable not sexy like how am I ever going to have guilt free enjoyable sex with this man I love so much..for one we don't know if he has the disease or not & he refuses to see any doctors because he is a weirdo like that lol but I try to explain to him this is serious u know..I couldn't live with myself knowing that I exposed him to this life long disease. We did have sex prior to the whole hospital trip while I had the bump though . I want to orally please him( because of the whole postpartum thing we can't have intercourse anyways..) but I'm afraid to get herpes in my mouth if he does have it!! I don't know I'm just struggling with all this.. emotionally I feel fine & then out of the blue it will hit me & I'll break down.. Also I can't tell when I'm having a outbreak!!!! I never felt tingling or a burning sensation I only felt a bump before that's how I knew something was wrong. But I'm happy there are groups like this reading some of your stories inspired me this whole website inspires me actually.. well thank you for reading my story..any insight would be appreciated.