StillMe

Re reading about suppressive therapy since I am on my 3rd for sure ob since diagnosis in December (could b a few more but have been so busy working for, then starting school I honestly can't remember). Seems like since I found out them obs just wanna invade my space and cause me pain to where it's uncomfortable to walk sometimes and even hurt when I lay down. Forget about the burning with peeing! :''( So...I click a link that led me to an article on WebMD that says again how routine testing for ghsv is still not recommend...even for pregnant women if they don't have symptoms. I just don't get it. How can you not test for something so common and who majority of those with it are asymptomatic??? If the only way for a person who never had an ob, or one so mild it could have been a 100 different things, to know is by a blood test then why are the blood tests considered so unreliable and unwarranted? It feels to me the medical community is saying "eegh no big deal....if you have it but it doesn't show then well you are all good! Sorry for the one you unknowingly pass it to who happen to not be an asymptomatic person. But by the way if you are symptomatic be sure to tell people you wish to be intimate with you have herpes to help inform and possibly reduce the spread!" It makes no sense to me! I truly feel that one way we can lessen the stigma is by putting it on equal platform as the other STIs (because Lord knows I'm still too (everything) to shout it from the rooftops and do my part). If it's not on equal ground then it's already ostracized and therefore so are the ones affected by it. Idk. Just had to get that little bit out. Thanks! ;)

No haven't gotten that far yet Sil88. Lol

Thanks 2legit2quit!

Not a writer BY FAR but this is something I came up with when I was thinking about my new diagnosis. Just trying to work my way through this. Rather born with it or from a lover You still must face rejection before u slide under the covers It knows no social class, age or race Whatever u thought it looked like just erase A face so sweet you will never picture a threat An ass so fat you just gotta hit dat A pole so nice u r forced to ride Don't mean to be crass but it's the facts of life It can be from your king or queen; a stranger in the mist of things Life sometimes can be so mean All it takes is one time for things to change It's not the end of the world It doesn't mean u can't still have ur boy or girl U simply have to adjust the way u do u When it's new you may not feel the same That guilt and dirty feeling have to run it's course through ur heart n brain How long is too long I'm not too sure But u can't close the door on what else life have in store More than ever ones have to b worthy to get in ur bed If never before realized you are more than what's between your legs Others may disagree; may say u should be happy anyone wants a tainted being I say shove it- there is more that comes with me than this thing I was taking it personally but I shouldn't There are always many reasons for a person to get shook There is not one thing wrong with me that My One can not overlook With that loving soul I'll b an open book I won't say if u choose to use this to walk it won't sting, but I understand ur hesitancy I only ask u use ur words with care as u never know if u will need to speak this in a hopefully understanding ear

I am sure working on it wcadancer2010. I know I will get there. 2 weeks DOES go by pretty quick so not much time. I have always been a hopeless romantic so I love the happy endings. I know I can't control his reaction and will just have to deal with it as it comes if anything. I may guess it will b nothing as he try to forget. I really hope he is negative. I know I could have given it to him or vise versa n since we will never know I sincerely hope he's negative since I can deal with that much easier. From the stories I've read it does help build better relationships in general because it help weed out the ones with a plan. I have no control of the future so I just will have to see. Relationship or not I know I will be OK. I really appreciate u guys and this site as well because it reinforce I will get through it! :) :) :)

I can't stand that. I will agree that for the moment it is embarrassing and idk if I will never feel this way but come on now. Don't be a prick! If my ex partner does have it I mtl will never know. He probably won't talk to me again but maybe a hi so it won't seem odd at work. I was stupid too because we only talked about our status after we were done but I never saw papers like I should have. But to be honest the last time u was tested specifically for h was 2010. Only have his word he was clear but then he only had mine too. We just happen to be of the stronger breed....and the one that catches it more easily! Hahahahahaha

I wonder how many people will feel better if the stars start coming out with having h. How much of a real spotlight will b put on how common it is n how far will it go toward debunking the myths n stigma

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Not frostbite!!! That was sadly funny. I can see how guys could have a harder time since they are usually not as able to handle things like this as women. Not male bashing or anything. Can't remember if it was on here or another site but a guy gave this lady h n he acted like she was the worst person in the world for giving it to him...til she met one of his ex gfs from about 10 yes ago n the ex asked if he gave it to her too without even knowing her. Told her what happened and the ex said he reached the exact same way all those years ago. It's sad that they use the fact anyone may use the fact u may never know who gave it to u in most cases as a way to get out of they responsibility of owning up to it. But frostbite?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Thanks 2legit2quit! I think he is a decent guy even tho he did a 180 in the year I've known him. I even asked him if he has ever had what looks like an ingrown hair because he shaved below trying to get him to see how it can mimic small things we don't pay attention to n he said no. I brought up the stigma part which led to his response. I have read stories of one's placing blame when they already knew because there is no way to prove it n I REALLY hope that's not the case. Even tho he changed (or shown who he really was) I still have a hope in him he is actually an OK guy. They did assume but hope the other factors do keep him quiet because it honestly is not their business even tho some like to shame others. I am working on not letting this whole thing stress me out n I know it will get better with time. Stress is an ob best friend and I want her as lonely as possible.

Well......I put on my big girls pants and told my last partner n I only cried a little. So far he took it OK. Going to make an appointment naturally because I explained that even if u say test for everything they still usually don't test for h. Was actually texting the number to get an appointment while I was talking. Told him some quick facts:1 n 6 have it and most don't know it as they can b asymptomatic. less transmission % from women to men even with no protection. can still pass even with 100% condom use with first partner and can even get it from birth. Was honest n said it's not the end of the world even tho that's how I feel at the moment. He said I shouldn't let society decide how I feel about myself n it doesn't make me a horrible person. Explain briefly I know the logic but right now I'm working on the emotional aspect. Begged him not to tell anyone because that would just kill me. He said we will talk later but I know we won't because we have nothing to talk about now. I can live with it but even tho he has been around wwwaaayyyy more than me so odds may b higher since everything increase with each partner still I pray he doesn't have it. Could have done it better but honestly I was just happy I didn't vomit because I was sick to my stomach. There is no way I can ever do this again

Well I hope that ur depression gets better as well n not made too much worse by this. I have not looked into that much but awesome for ones like u who have to help ones like me. I wish I could view it in the science realm. People in general for that matter because it would cut the stigma. I'm a realist too that's y I know I'm putting more on myself emotionally than maybe I should. That's the human in me. Lol. I know it will take more than 2 weeks to get past it but hopefully not much longer. I'm not a fan of these feelings. Have to look into the oysters. Would b nice to know if they can transmit.

I love how positive u r 2legit2quit. I know this too shall pass...the feelings anyway but know I have to work on it. Next month I'll be the big 3-0 so it could have been in my teens if all tests were false negative. I was surprised find I tested negative for hsv1 because of how common it is. I have been looking at information about the numbers and what they mean to try n Guage if i had it for a long time n the shedding aspect of it n all. Some sites say it means nothing one said if under 5 get retested even if positive swab. That's very interesting about the animals. Never would have known that. I have to look up the other hsv types because I only know of the common ones cpox shingles n hsv1 n 2. Trying to gain knowledge so I can maybe help the feelings along and one say be like u needing a reference point of how far I have come

Thank u 2legit2quit. Slept with him this last past year about 40 times or so. Last times earlier this month right before I was diagnosed. He is the first n last person I would ever mess with from work. I see him too much for my liking. Funny because before this I loved running into him. We are no longer sexual but has nothing to do with this seeing as I haven't told him. We were on the down end of our sexship anyway. I'm sorry u have had such a hard tell with obs but happy it's getting better. As I stated if all these years I was having obs they were never horrible so that's good news right?? I have always thought sex was such a small part anyway so it's no difference now. The answer to all those is not much honestly. Just the fact that I know I have it. Bills still come n go the same. If I want to go out n do something I still will. If I want to just b a bed bum I still will. Still go to work because that is still needed. Just the fact that I know I have it and will forever messes with me. Only been two weeks but I pray u r right n I will stop feeling this way very soon because it is more problems than the h is honestly.

Honestly idk. Like I said anytime I "could have been having an ob" could have been something else so I can't say 100% few examples: wore too tight underwear and then got cut like lines on the panty line area that was too tight. For almost a year I had bv time after time but wasn't having sex. Sore on clit after oral was too ruff to name a few. So it's possible it could have been as mush as almost 15 years ago and as recent as a few mths ago

Positive swab and 4.5 blood test. Had a red spot on the top of the clitoris when I went it n they tested it because I had had them before even though they could always been explained as to why they r there n even tested negative.

Wwwhhhoooooo! Just found out I officially have hsv2. I have been tested multiple times in the past specifically for h because for whatever reason ( sore after working out, cut after jagged nail, yeast infection after yeast infection for a while...etc) I thought I had it and the cultures and tests always came back negative. I am one that was always at the Dr office. I would make up reasons to go just to get checked out even if I hadn't had any kind of sexual activities in months. I just wanted friend to be OK and clean. I have had my share of partners even tho I am still on my hands n don't need feet to count them I know that is still plenty of room to have gotten infected. I am having a hard time and I don't feel as though I should be. Now I can't look at a crowd of people and not think of the odds of someone else sharing this. I have told my mother and brother and a Counselor because I couldn't stop crying at work. I felt so weak for not being able to handle my emotions and felt like a big crybaby. Even tho I am but still. Lol. I am currently working on the self hatred for not telling my last partner. I go back and forth with should I or shouldn't I? Should I do it anonymously? But I still fear he will know it was me. The reason for the dread is that we work together. We were involved little while and literally days before I had an ob we were together. We never used protection...yes I take the stupid award I know. Before him it has been over a year and I had been to get checked up several times and he said he just did as well. My issue in telling him is idk if I have just always had false negative results or if it is from him. I don't believe it's really new because I already have antibodies. He admitted to sleeping with someone else a few months ago but insists he used protection because he knew we didn't n he value his health more than that. Since its not far back enough to have been from her I don't worry about that. I know in hindsight it really doesn't matter who u got it from because u have it now but I feel like I'm between a rock n a hard place with telling him. I can't afford to just quit my job in a chance he told people n I'd forever get nasty looks. He said he has been tested since she slept with the other lady before we slept together again but I know they don't usually test for h unless systoms r present. I want him to b clean n protected for his next partner but I am a coward n literally get sick to my stomach ready to vomit at the thought of the fallback of me telling him. Seems like I have been doing nothing but reading up on this since I found out even tho I was pretty familiar with it from the past. Idk what would be worse...him being negative and therfore I'm the horrible one or him being positive and not knowing if I gave it to him or not. As stupid as it is I would b much better if he did have it and he was the one to give it to me than vise versa. All the reading I have been doing I feel even worse that I am the cause if the social stigma. I'm so embarrassed that I can't tell anyone but the three people I have. All the logic in the world isn't keeping me from feeling like.a dirty less than person. It doesn't help that I know u can get it from one act of protected sexual activity. It doesn't help that 1 in 6 have it. It doesn't help that u can't tell it just by looking at me. None of it helps. Am I an angel--by far but I personally know people waaayyy worse n nothing wrong with them except a few kids by different people. I think about the people I know and like they don't have it. Honestly I know I can't say that but the emotional part of me does. I hate that I'm one of "those" people that makes people like us feel dirty because I don't say anything so someone near me could be suffering and feel just as alone but don't know how close a similar situation person is. I have mentioned std to people at work n even on fb in general how people just want to be loved and treated the same but can't let them know it's me that I'm talking about. I look at ones on YouTube proudly speaking on it and can't imagine I'd ever be that confident. Logically I know I am still me with a little extra now but emotionally I feel like a different person. Before my diagnosis I accepted I would be single probably for the rest of my life for religious reasons due to my pervious mistakes but after I felt like it was taken from me. Stupid I know because I had already made that choice but now it feels so much more different and final. I just don't know anymore. It's crazy that something so minor although I don't think it should be downplayed, can alter your life. I know I have no choice but to move on even tho I did seriously consider suicide but I just still don't know. It's not the end of the world. A book I read where the lady had h the guy told her the sun doesn't rise n set on ur vagnia. I loved that part. I know that part. I know I am more than what's down there. But none of that helps. Sorry for the rant but I just don't know. All I keep asking is if logically I know all this then what will it take for me to emotionally know and accept it????