WantThisToWorkOut

Your response was very helpful! I appreciate your time, thank you

Thank you everyone for your comments and help

Thank you to everyone taking time to read this, and thank you for everyone who opts to respond back and give me their insight. I have HSV-1 and was most likely born with it. I get a cold sore once every two years or so since I was 5. I recently gave my girlfriend a breakout on her genitals via oral sex. I did not have an active cold sore, but discovered carriers have active shedding which is always present. She was having a kidney infection and so her immune system was pretty shot, which is why she got it without me even having an active sore. Well we both got tested and we both have HSV-1. Neither of us have HSV-2. My question is this - will she get future breakouts on her genitals, since while its still version 1, she originally got it on her genitals, or will she just get cold sores from now on? She is taking the preventative medication that one would normally take for version 2, but ive read that from now on the version 1 will just outbreak on her lips/mouth. This topic in my opinion is not very well explained to the general public, and there is lack of education and knowledge on it in general.

I will try and make this as short as possible. Thank you so much for anyone who reads this, and I appreciate all input, advice, tips, insight, etc. Have been official with my gF for a few months now...strong relationship so far. Well I have got cold sores my entire life so I just learned that I have had HSV-1 my entire life. My gf had a genital breakout two weeks ago on her vagina. Long story short, she went to OBGYN, got on medicine, got tested, and the doctor called her back a few days ago to tell her she has HSV-1, which was no surprise. I got tested as well, and obviously have HSV-1. Neither of us have HSV-2. Aside from a cold sore every 1-2 years, I have no history of other breakouts. I gave her this via oral sex, even though I had no active cold sore, the doctor informed us that I always have "shedding" and unfortunately I gave it to her. So the reason for my post. I grew up assuming cold sores were like chicken pox or poison ivy, the flu, etc. Just something everyone got from time to time. I never knew it was a form of herpes, and while I had enough common sense to know not to kiss someone while having a breakout, i didnt know it was a virus. Ive just always been around them. Well now my girlfriend is absolutely furious with me beyond belief. We had the STD talk before we ever had sex, and I told her I was clean, as she said she was. Apparently they dont test for HRV unless you request it. So the 2 STD tests ive taken in my life both came back clean and so thats why it never clicked with me. She said I should have known to tell her that I "get cold sores". It has never once in my life occurred to me that I tell someone that when I start dating them. I am not ashamed of cold sores, I just didnt realized this is potentially something you tell someone. I wasnt hiding it, I simply just have never heard of telling someone. It usually sort of just gets discovered somewhere into the relationship. I've never had a gf before who found out and got upset, and so I had no reason to think to tell anyone, it just never pops into my mind. Well back to the present. My gf is saying she feels anger, and hate, and feels as if I have deceived her and betrayed her, and that she has no feeling inside her, and can never be happy again, can never laugh again, isnt even herself, and she wants her life back. She went on to say that now she has to have c-sections for all her births, and that natural childbirth is no longer an option, and that all she has ever wanted in life is to be a mother, and that now I took it away from her and took away her choice. She said she is gross and disgusting and will never be the same again, and repeatedly tells me I am stupid for not knowing to tell her I get cold sores. I am devastated and heartbroken. the last thing on earth I would ever want to do is hurt someone, much less like this. I do not know my role now, and I would love any advice from anyone who has gone through this, being bf who gave it to gf and how you made it work, or gf receiving it from male and what it took to stay together. I have apologized a million times and she tells me my apologies mean nothing, I tell her one day at a time and we will get through this and she rolls her eyes. I explain to her that we are in this together and she gets mad and tells me she has it much worse and to stop saying that. I tell her she can easily still have normal childbirth and that the doctor will examine before a delivery and as long as no breakout, its fine, and that just enfuriates her more and she says she will not take a chance on exposing her child to it. - even though its herpes 1 and not 2, and im not even sure if she would ever even have another breakout on her genitals. She is in a huge depression, and even talks about drinking so much she dies in her sleep, or driving her car into a pole and ending her life. She is a mess right now and is not stable. I am trying my hardest to be there for her and listen to her and let her vent. I take full blame for this. As I did not know I should have told her about the cold sores, I did tell her I was clean - and although I believed it, I technically did lie to her. So her anger is validated. Well at first she told me she wants to work this out and will need my support through all this, and now she is getting more angry and short and distant. Today she told me she doesnt know if we can get past this because she doesnt know if she can ever forgive me. ANY tips and advice are so greatly needed and appreciated right now. I want this to work so bad, and I want to overcome this with her.