Pop

No, I don't think she's making a distinction. And she probably *wouldn't* kiss anyone that was HSV+ orally. But I'm negative and have been for years. The worry, supposedly, is that I'll unknowingly get exposed and become infected, but then interact with her before I know I'm infected. And it seems (to me) like layers upon layers of improbability of her getting it. But she's read horror stories about people with lupus and HSV, so I'm trying to get something concrete I can point to in order to quiet her fears.

I tested negative late last year. Getting tested again this weekend. Same with her - her last test was negative. The dating partner is asking to be notified when there is oral genital contact with my wife when it is near the time of our dates, but my wife and I find this intrusive to our privacy. Does the partner "deserve" to know of this contact if the transmission rates are next to nil and I would otherwise constantly be within the "waiting period" for emergence of a new infection? Partner is considering eliminating kissing from the relationship if her fears can't be quieted.

My wife has HSV1 genitally and is on acyclovir, but I have remained negative for over 11 years with her. I am also currently dating a non-infected partner that has lupus. Because of her compromised immune situation, she is very afraid of catching the virus. However, our only real sexual contact is kissing. I've read that the annual transmission rate female-to-male (female on meds) of HSV1 genitally is 2%. And the transmission rate from male-to-female (no meds) is 10%. Doesn't that make the chance of me getting the virus and transmitting without knowing I have it .2% annually? And what does that translate to providing 2 encounters a month? It seems astronomically low, but I'd like to have a "1 in _____" number per encounter, but don't have the math knowledge to figure this out. Anybody know how to figure this out so that I can allay her fears?