hellohello

Good morning, I have been a cold sore sufferer since I was a little kid, probably from my mom. Growing up I got them sporadically, but my parents downplayed it so it was never really a concern for me. Over the last several years I still get OBs some of which are horrific. Again, didn't really give it much thought, I'm not concerned about the social stigma. However, since I have been married for 10 years and now have 3 small children, I find my self overcome with constant terror that I will spread it to my children and/or wife. I know the general rule of growing up, no kissing with one, no sharing, and always wash your hands after touching it. Like an idiot, I did a lot of research on HSV-1 online and now I am terrified that those steps are not enough. I have read in several places that my saliva carries the virus and that I will spread it even without an OB. In order to prevent my family from getting these awful things I have gone to extraordinary measures to prevent it. Even without an outbreak, I don't share anything or even kiss my kids. I occasionally kiss my wife but again I am scared of passing it to her. When I have an OB I won't even talk until it is gone and then a few days after for fear that when I speak, my saliva may come out and hit someone in the eye or contaminate something that my kids will touch and then have the virus on their hands or clothes. I take Valltrex only when I have an OB which does very well in reduction. However, given that stress induces these things, I am constantly stressed about passing them which has made my OBs more frequent. it used to be once a year maybe, now it's 3 times or more a year. I take so many supplements to inhibit the virus, Lysine, multi-vitamin, B complex, D, E, everything to avoid these things. I know the majority of people get them but I hate knowing that my kids would get this and get ridiculed the same way I was growing up, and even worse, undergo the pain I have through the years from the oOBs themselves. Am I being paranoid about everything and the spreading? I am also scared to even shower with water on my face for fear it will pass to other parts of my body, even without an OB. I don't eat food during an OB for fear it's on my hands. I am tired of being paralyzed with this fear without knowing for sure. I hate these things. This is the only missing element in my life. If only I could make peace with it, everything else is perfect. I wish a cure or vaccine would be developed already. Please advise. Thank you.