The last time I did any dating was in May. I was over it so I just stopped. I worked and spent the summer with my daughter relaxing and enjoying the time with my friends. I recently had a girl I work with introduce me to a friend of hers and I was hesitant at first but I met the guy anyway. We hit it off great. He was funny, nice, and a gentleman. It took him until the third time hanging out to kiss me. Well everything's fine and great and he tells me he does like me and he's happy when he's around me and when he sees my name pop up on his phone blah blah. He was calling me every night to talk on top of all this. So I decide it's time to have the awesome H talk with him. I wanted to throw up the whole day thinking about it. So that night I tell him and he is like dead silent the whole time and I'm fumbling over my words and can't remember what to say. Finally I finish and he goes "wow. Never had anyone tell me that before". I felt embarrassed so I said I was leaving and he's like "why are you gonna leave?" and I said "because I'm uncomfortable and embarrassed" and he's like "you shouldn't be, it takes a lot of courage to tell someone that and I appreciate you telling me". I go "OK can you just tell me if this will continue with us or if youre not OK with it so I can leave". And he's like "I'm not gonna stop talking to you because of that you're fine". I felt relieved because I was basically holding my breath the whole time he was talking. When I left he said "you okay?" I told him "not really, just uneasy". He kissed me and said "don't worry you're fine. Text me when you get home."
WELL. That was Thursday night and I went home not feeling any better. he said good morning to me and we texted a little on Friday but I was super busy and couldn't really talk. He tried calling me Friday night but I had fallen asleep so he called me Saturday morning on his way to work and we talked for about 20min. I was busy yesterday and so was he and we texted for a little last night and he called me tonight on the way home from a fundraiser he had to do with his kids. Idk what to think. If he wasn't OK with it why is he calling me? He doesn't seem to be the type of person to lead someone on or not be truthful in the matter because he would've just said no its not OK when I told him. Am I over analyzing the shit out of this and being neurotic or should I be worried. That's what I wanna know lol
My point is, I don't feel relieved and at peace becase i'm scared, if that makes any sense. I know he said he was fine but what does that even mean? Does he just want to be friends or is he wanting to move forward with this? I have the worst anxiety about it. I waited 2 weeks to tell him and from past experiences, it hasn't really mattered when I tell someone because to me, anyone who isn't OK with it early on will probably never be OK with it. Someone please give me some advice because I'm freaking out.