I have an unfortunate situation that has not become easier to deal with over the years. This all happened long ago before all the info and everything was out there about HPV or HSV. I still don't understand and am extremely confused. Years ago after a cheating, pathologically lying boyfriend ended up with me in the doctor's office after months and months of discomfort, I was given a diagnosis of hpv, low risk. I had to literally beg a doctor to do a biopsy because no less than three insisted nothing was wrong. But, I turned out to have warts. Great. Then while I was in the office of a different doctor to have them removed, I explain I have itching. She tells me that never happens, and tells me about a test that costs 100 dollars, not covered by insurance, that is from the University of Washington to tell me if I have HSV. Says I am better off knowing. Ok... so I now years later understand she was giving me a Western Blot test which I understand is never given as a first run test. It's only supposed to confirm. So it comes back positive for both types. Great. So now I have not one but two std's for the rest of my life, hpv and hsv2. Can this even be real... my dating life over and I was only in my 20's. Well I ask her and she keeps telling me "It means you were exposed". She keeps going on about this "exposed, exposed"... and I'm like, "Do I HAVE it???" and she keeps going on about being exposed. Jesus. So I ask "Do I need to tell people if I have it"... she says, "That's up to you". Ok. thanks. You're lots of help lady. She tells me that you can either type of sore in either place and you can't know what type is where. Ok so since I have never had a sore in my nether regions ever, I decide I will start mentioning it if I do. I go on to tell partners about HPV, which most respond with "What's that?"... then I'd have to give a very awkward std education talk that even I don't really understand quite clearly. This was all many years ago before most people knew what HPV is. And I had a number of rejections based on that.
So there I was in the weird nether region of being asymptomatic for hsv2, being told I was "exposed" and diagnosed with a test that years ago, nobody had ever heard of, and nobody ever took. It was ridiculous. My head was spinning. I couldn't really tell partners to go shell out 100 bucks for a test that most doctors would have refused to give them and that in hindsight I don't think she should have given me. This was long before all the testing that is more common now. And I had always had cold sores but did not know they were considered an std until very recently. I just avoided all kissing etc until they were gone.
I was also under the impression that asymptomatic shedding was a thing that happened between outbreaks to people who had them, and I had not had one, ever, "down south". But years later I asked my Dr about this and they said something like I would shed 3 percent of the time or something. So I tell my (then) most recent partner about this and he screams at me I am a liar, he hates me, and completely freaks out on me.
So, years down the line, I hear that hpv "clears" the system. Hallelujah is this true? I get another hsv test and it is the newer more accurate Elisa test. It comes back negative. I almost die of happiness. The whole Western Blot "exposed" debacle must have meant I was exposed but didn't catch it, just like you can be exposed to a cold but mot catch it. I tell my Dr that the Western Blot test came back positive many years ago and the he says "Oh well you r body just stopped making antibodies for it". Record screeeetchh... . What??? What does that even mean? I have never, ever heard of that before in my entire life. I research all over the internet and find nothing. So if that's the case, how many other people quit making antibodies, got tested, came back negative and thin k they don't have anything?
I am as usual completely lost as to what to tell partners. So I start saying well, one test said I had this, another said I didn't.
And now I wonder if I should just try and save up the now TWO hundred dollars it costs for Western Blot and just do it again?
And my current BF recently tells me I shed hsv1in my mouth even if I don't have a cold sore. So now I feel diseased all over again. So I have gone through much of my life thinking I have 2 std's which I could not mentally handle, being extremely confused over the whole "exposed" thing- and now I find I have three std's in fact. So now I realize I probably gave hsv 1 to people engaging in oral which for years I thought was "safe" if I didn't have any cold sores.
I do know that currently I have met not a single person out there with hsv1, and hsv2 and warts. I always used protection, always. My friends used to even tease me about how "safe" I was. Never had unprotected in my life, ever.
I am afraid now, with all the updated knowledge we have- to even kiss my Bf. We have zero sex life.
But then when I think about it I wonder about the panic over these things at times because you hear that all of these things can be caught orally, and genitally, that hpv can cause warts and cancer orally and genitally. But I never had anything besides cold sores in my life which I understand are pretty common and also still never had any sores "down south". Just warts, over a decade ago. And as for those, one year it's "Your body clears them, you're free" and the next it's "They lie dormant forever".
So I don't know what to think or say. But to say I have been frustrated with my sexual health for a lifetime would be the least of it. I am currently in a less than stellar relationship because I feel nobody wants to deal with this.
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