Jjen

@optimist - Thank you for responding. This makes a lot of sense. People don't realize that any time they receive oral sex they are at risk of contracting the virus. And no one thinks to disclose the fact that they have oral HSV, because it's such a "normal" thing. But the second you tell someone that you have gHSV-1 they are suddenly afraid of you, despite your willingness to take numerous precautions to prevent transmission that would never be taken if someone has oHSV-1. I will move on to trying to find someone who will understand that just because I have this, doesn't mean they will automatically catch it. I am just so disappointed because I thought that of all people, this guy would be the one to understand and accept me as I am... I really really like him and enjoy his company and he has said the same to me. It makes me so sad to know that we would continue seeing each other if it were not for this one thing. He may meet someone down the road who isn't so honest and up-front about it like I was. Not everyone has the integrity or courage to disclose. I respect his choice, but it still hurts.

Hi Everyone, This is my very first post - age 31/F. I contracted gHSV-1 by receiving oral sex almost 4 years ago. That partner left me after 2 years of treating me like crap. I stayed because I did not think anyone else would want me with HSV. I felt so alone when he left. I recently started dating a friend who I have known for a little over a year. We have many things in common and the chemistry between us is like nothing I've ever felt before. I disclosed my condition after I felt he was serious about us. I was surprised that his reaction was very understanding and calm. I told him about how suppressive therapy, condom use, and avoiding breakouts could minimize risk to almost nothing (1%). He acted like it was fine and was very empathetic to my situation. We even got a bit sexual afterwards in the bedroom (no intercourse). He had a day to google everything about HSV and then came back to me basically saying that it was a deal breaker and that he could not risk catching it from me, even if the chances (with condoms and drugs) were very very low. All day I have been crying. He is someone I really respect. He is intelligent, educated, and very respectful/gentlemanly. He has said on MANY occasions how amazing he thinks I am. If HE is not willing to accept me with HSV, who the hell will?? I am not mad at him for rejecting me. I completely understand his perspective. I am just mad at myself for attempting to find love. I realize now that I do not have the right to do that. I don't have the right to ask someone to risk contracting this for me. The sum of everything that I am is not enough to outweigh HSV. I feel so defeated, sad, and very very alone. None of my friends or family know about this, so I am forced to cry and suffer about this in silence, by myself. I don't take rejection or abandonment well. Although he is right to toss me aside, that doesn't make it hurt any less. I feel like the only person in the world with this problem. All of my friends are in happy healthy joyful relationships and look at me wondering why I am still single. They don't know how broken I really am. Does anyone have any advice to offer on this? What were your experiences?