Hi everyone, I am new here and I hope all is well. I really need to vent and I do not know where else to turn. Once diagnosed in 2013, I have only told a few people and stuck to online hsv specific dating sites. Recently I started talking to a guy through Instagram who was from another state I used to live in. He seemed so real and "awake" and mature for his age (I am 34 and he is 25). We talked on the phone for a few weeks and it was okay. He is into smoking and I am not so I was a little turned off even though I know people deal with stress and anxiety in different ways, so I don't judge. I decided to take a quick weekend trip to the state I used to live to visit people and I contacted him so we could meet eachother. Once we met I could tell we would be hanging out for some of the night and something inside of me just said "he seems so nice, I should just tell him and see if people really do accept me as I do them". So as we were driving to my hotel to just spend time together, I told him. He actually grabbed my hand and said "that's real". So I felt comfortable and proud of myself for breaking out of the shell of only dealing with people who have hsv. So I was diagnosed with hsv2 and I have very little to no symptoms at all. The first time I felt a small bump on my genitals, I ran straight to the gyno and demanded a blood test. I tested positive for hsv2 and negative for hsv1. I have never had any type of outbreak on or in my mouth. I told this guy that I do not have the cold sore version which so many people have. When we got to the hotel he kissed me on the mouth quite a bit. That was it. All was well. The next day after I traveled home he texts "we gotta talk". I called him and he says "are you sure you have never had anything on your lips?" I was like "no, why?". He says "I don't know, but I have a cold sore on my lip today and I've never had one". I immediately felt so angry, so hurt, so annoyed and so regretful!! I insisted that I do not have hsv1 orally and that he cannot get it from me. How could that even be? He said he was going to send me a picture (or said he almost did), but he never did. I was literally crying to myself on the phone, I was so mad! How could I let myself tell anyone?! Why did I let him kiss me? Could I have hsv2 orally and not know it? I have no symptoms and we didn't kiss that intensely. How could a cold sore just pop up for him? I grew angrier and angrier over the next day and called him asking how it looked. He was like "oh I wasn't even thinking about it". I said "well was is blisters?" He kind of stumbled on his words and said "well yeah, I had to stop messing with it". I told him again how it couldn't be from me. He basically told me not to think about it (which is impossible, I was so stressed) but that"he hopes it's not". UGH!!!!!!!!!! I know this is going to haunt me. People who spread it and the one who spread it to me never get tested and DONT WANT TO KNOW and they go around spreading it and blaming truthful people! It makes me so angry! Why did I let this guy near me. He wants to act nice, but hasn't really checked in at all. You cannot trust people, period. Chances are he already has it. Maybe, maybe not. Please let me know what you think, thank you!!!!