sadie

@katidid thank u so much. well, he did send me a heart text an hour ago and i didn't text him before or anything but i'm still scared. just scared he's not into it or that he will disappear. it's just this really scary and painful thing. I don't know quite how to get a hold on it emotionally no matter what he decides

thank u very much for your kind words. that is what i believe. i would accept someone unconditionally too but my heart-i can't stop it from breaking right now. you r so right but i wish this pain would go away.

I have just found out I have hsv2-genital herpes last Thursday. i am a 42 year old single mother of 2. The timing couldn't have been worse-this timing of finding out i have herpes 2, because just 4 days earlier i reconciled with an ex of mine from 5 years ago and we were talking marriage and living together. My entire life I've been beaten and left by men, including an ex husband, had to go through endless cancer testing (didn't have it but have fibromyalgia and thyroid issues) and now i finally had the chance of happiness with a man who would not have screwed me over or left me because 5 years ago i was the one to end things and we kept in touch for 5 years. This was the one guy who i liked that would not have left me. We were talking serious so i knew i had to tell him about what i just found out, that i had herpes 2. I told him over the phone Saturday night, because I wanted to let him know if things were getting serious, and I am an honest loving person. It was so hard. He said we'd work through this and he said it'd be okay but i know he was still concerned. I know something is off. He did text me Sunday first because i was going to see if he was still going to talk to me. So he did but i don't know, i felt something weird and when i posted a Facebook pic, he always comments and likes, always, but he didn't. I haven't heard from him yet today. I know, i feel it in my gut, being a female and all, my intuition, that he doesn't want me anymore. Finally, after all the pain in my life i found someone who wanted to marry me and be with me and who i loved back who wouldn’t leave me like everyone else, and then this happened. Then I find out I have this and I am honest. I tell him and now i’m not good enough. I’m left again, I’m tarnished. I’m not that sexual being and wonderful girl he thought of as before. I know it’s his decision and I have to respect that. Nobody wants herpes. I know he doesn’t want a disease. I know, but honestly I would accept someone no matter what, if they had herpes, no matter what they had, for better or worse, because I am just like that. I would love someone for the whole package no matter what it brings. I am a very loving person with a big heart. Now the one guy I had a chance with to finally have happiness in my life, it’s ruined because of herpes. I messed up because I was with someone before or 2 people, even with protection, but 2 people that I shouldn't have been with because they've ruined my new chance at happiness with this guy. I messed up. After all my heartache and death scares and abuse and abandonment in my life now I have to go through this and I can’t do it. I can’t. i can't deal with another broken heart. life has broken my heart, guys have broken my heart. Now this guy, the guy who could have been the love of my life is breaking my heart. Not again, I don’t know what to do. I’m so sad. please help me.