I have had herpes for almost 15 years.. I got it when I was the young age of 16. I have always felt alone and have never really been able to talk to anyone about it.. I have had one night stands thriugh the years.. I have absolutely passed it to men without telling them.. I have made horrible, selfish decisions while intoxicated and somehow have seemed to justify it.. like, they didn't bother to even attempt to wear a condom or ask me if I had anything.. I have felt guilty and upset about it.. I ended my marriage recently and have a new boyfriend.. this boyfriend and I hooked up one night and continued to do so... a month or so later he asked me.. "where do you think the worst place to have an itch is?" I said my throat laughing it off like it was some weird random question.. I feel like he was trying to talk about maybe contracting herpes.. but he never said anything after.. I do believe he has it and had an outbreak.. he has been in jail going on 8 months and I just told him the other day I think I may have passed it to him.. I love him and thought of we are rrally going to do this I need to have a conversation about it.. something is clearly wrong with me.. how could I be so careless over the years and still make the same mistakes.. I don't want to spread it.. I dont.. but I have.. more than once.. I don't know how to comfort him. He is very upset.. I told him I was sorry and I made a bad decision.. he has thus forever now.. I know he will be okay and that the worst thing about this is the stigma from society .. I am an asshole..