Acez1994

There's no question. I'm telling him. I know that he needs to get tested now and in three months. If he has it now, it's unlikely he got it from me and could have gotten from a previous partner. So, hell, I could have, in some sick way, done him a favor. It isn't fair to him and he's a good man. He deserves to know. The problem I'm having is getting him to sit down and talk with me so I can tell him about it. I don't want to just send him a message about it, I want to tell him in person. I just can't figure out how to get him to hang out so I can tell him.

I'm just so terrified of how angry he'll be, even though he has every right to be. I have next to no right to be thinking of myself right now, but I also hope he doesn't tell anyone. It could ruin my career. I just wish I had never gone home with him. I should never have done that. I plan on telling him, no ifs, ands, or buts. I'm trying to get him to sit down and talk with me. It just all comes out weird like I want to sit down andget in a relationship, which isn't the case. I just need to figure out how to get him to sit down and talk with me. It isn't something you say over the phone or text. I feel like it needs to be in person.

I found out almost 2 months ago that I have HSV-2. The person who gave it to me blatantly lied to my face about having it, saying that they had been tested and everything. I am taking suppressive medication, I have had no recent outbreaks. The reason I feel like a horrible human being isn't because of what I have, it's because of what I did one drunken night. I'm still adjusting to the idea that I even have it. In my drunken and emotional mindset, a guy took me home and we had sex. We had it for hours. I don't remember a lot of the night. Before that night, I had been resisting his advances because I did not feel comfortable enough to have the disclosure conversation with him yet. Turns out, I actually like the guy and care about him. In my state of mind, I did not disclose and allowed him and my drunken self to act on desires. All I want to do is crawl in a hole because no matter the state of mind I was in, I took away his choice. He took the risk without knowing there even was one (although,anytime you participate in sexual activity, you have to accept that you're taking some kind of risk no matter what, especially if you don't ask each other about sexual health.) . With that said, no, I can't put all of that responsibility on him, but I need to tell him. This is eating me alive inside and I desperately need advice on the how, where, and when (obviously as soon as possible). I know he'll more than likely be mad and I can't blame him. This is such a small town and in the industry I'm in, it can ruin my career if word gets around. Again, I am going to tell him. It isn't fair to him if I don't. I shouldn't have even gone home with him if I was too drunk to tell him about my herpes. I can't take back what we've already done, but I need help on telling him in the very near future. Please. I know the facts, I know what to present, I just need some kind of support on telling this amazing man the thing that I should have told him before that night ever even happened. -SB