MJLM

Hi! This is the 2nd time I'm afraid I might herpes. Over a year ago I had a scare but after 3 negative blood tests I was relieved I didn't have anything. However, now I have another odd symptom. I had unprotected anal sex 2 weeks ago and 5 days ago I noticed a pain when I whipped myself (it doesn't hurt when I don't touch it). The first 2 days it itched but then it stopped. It wasn't till today I dared to take a mirror to look to what I have. There's a small cut like lession near by the anus. I didn't think it'll be a cut since it doesn't burn, not even when I shower. Is it normal for an open herpes sore not to burn? Also, the day before the pain began I had a momentary itch I would consider normal near by my anus, I scratched hard and I hurt myself. I'm hopeful it's only scratch I gave myself with my nail. Please give me your opinion. Cheers!

Hi! Recently I got a blood test, which I got done 8 weeks after exposure, and it came out negative. Thanks to the forum I now know that the most accurate results are within 12-16 weeks after exposure, so I'll get another one done then. My question is about how antibodies work, say, I had an outbreak 1 week after exposure, my body fought it off, since then I haven't had another OB (I've read of people who had another one right after the first one). If I have herpes my body is doing a good job at keeping it at bay so far, shouldn't that mean I have enough antibodies already that could have been detectable by now? I read in this infographic http://www.ashasexualhealth.org/pdfs/Herpes_Testing_Infographic.pdf that after 3 weeks half of people has enough detectable antibodies, by 6 weeks 70% of people do, and by 6 months everyone does. I sure hope I'm among that 70%. So I just want to know if it makes sense that if my body is keeping the virus at bay it means I have enough antibodies that could be detectable, or if that idea doesn't make sense. I will still get a new test done, but the waiting is excruciating, and my doctor isn't of much help because she says 2 months was enough time to get a blood test done, she thinks I shouldn't trust the internet but I'm only reading reliable sources. Thanks in advance for any replies!

It’s from the time of exposure (not outbreak). Some people will develop enough antibodies to test positive in less than two weeks post exposure, but it’s not until nearly the 16 week mark that virtually everyone with the virus would test positive on a blood test for it. Thanks for the info!

They’re different tests. Although the IgMs are commonly used still, experts say they are notoriously unreliable and those results should be ignored. Don’t base any conclusion from the IgM. Insist on an IgG. Thanks Hiking girl :) May I ask something else? I was told by my doctor that to get the test I have to wait a certain amount of time from the time I had my first OB, but I thought it was from the time of exposure. Do you know about that? (sorry if the question is not understandable, I'm not from an EN speaking country)

After 12 weeks, the rate of false negatives for HSV1 with an IgG test is 30%, and the rate of false negatives for HSV2 is 5%. Visual diagnosis is incorrect about 20% of the time, so you are right to want actual testing. In my opinion, if the doctor didn't swab you during that first visit, one option is to wait until the 12 week mark to test again, or get swabbed if you ever have symptoms again. If you get another negative result at 12 weeks and don't get symptoms again, you can either assume you are negative or follow-up with a more sensitive Western Blot if you feel a need to know with greater certainty. I gotta ask something else. I had both the IgG and IgM tests done. Are those 2 different tests or 2 parts of the same? I wonder because if they are different tests and they both came out negative maybe I actually don't have herpes after all.

After 12 weeks, the rate of false negatives for HSV1 with an IgG test is 30%, and the rate of false negatives for HSV2 is 5%. Visual diagnosis is incorrect about 20% of the time, so you are right to want actual testing. In my opinion, if the doctor didn't swab you during that first visit, one option is to wait until the 12 week mark to test again, or get swabbed if you ever have symptoms again. If you get another negative result at 12 weeks and don't get symptoms again, you can either assume you are negative or follow-up with a more sensitive Western Blot if you feel a need to know with greater certainty. Thank you Optimist, that information was helpful

Hi everyone! I was diagnosed with herpes month and a half ago. I had 2 small sores and the doctor said it was herpes. After that I got a blood test, thinking it'd show already, but it was just 2 weeks after exposure, so it came out negative. Then I went to a gynecologist who seemed pretty skeptical about it being herpes after I told her the symptoms I had (by then the symptoms had disappeared). She sent me to have another blood test, this time 2 months after exposure, she said it was enough time. They came out negative. I don't know what to think. I had 2 sores in my genital area, what else could have it been? So I don't want to celebrate quiet yet. I wonder if some of you guys had false negatives or if you know how common they are. Thanks!

Glad to hear you've been having successful disclosures. This is how it has been for me most of the time, though not always. When it's not like this for me, I try to remember that usually this is how it goes. Regarding fear of sex and choosing to decline sex, of course you should wait until you are ready, but I'll share something that helped me overcome this mindset at the beginning when I was still processing everything. Like you, I'm a very sexual person and I've had a full sex life. Until I tested positive for HSV2, I didn't understand how prevalent HSV is, how most people who have it don't know it, how lots of genital herpes cases are caused by oral sex, and how condoms offer incomplete protection during intercourse. Knowing all this now, and realizing that roughly 80% of partners during my lifetime had the potential to transmit HSV to my genitals through either oral sex or intercourse, I ask myself if I would've wanted those 80% of partners to opt out or shield me from their HSV, had they known they were infected. Would I have declined to become intimate with them or used dental dams when receiving oral sex? The answer is no. I would've wanted the option to manage my own risk. In fact, I did once have someone disclose to me and I was okay with it. So I give my prospective partners the same courtesy of managing their own risk. I inform them of my status, offer to answer any questions they have (and have educated myself well enough to answer those questions), and take daily antivirals to reduce risk of transmission. Beyond that, I allow them to manage their own risk. Thanks for sharing this! I think you are right. The first guy I mentioned said something alike, I said I'd feel too guilty if he contracted herpes, and he said that he was the one taking the risk, so if he caught it it'd be his responsibility. And you are also right about how prevalent HSV is. I contracted it after an unprotected one night stand, which made me think, if I had protected myself it wouldn't have happened, like it hadn't happened before, even though chances are that I had already been with someone who had herpes (I've been sexually active for 10 years now, I must have ran into someone who had it). So I guess it's not that easy to contract it if you take care. But I still have to get used to the idea. Hopefully I'll be ready soon.

Hi everyone! I was diagnosed with HSV-2 about month and a half ago, and I was devastated, for 2 weeks I couldn't study, work, hang out with people, workout, I put my life on hold because I couldn't think of anything else but it, luckily I finally snapped out of it but I would still get upset thinking about the guys I wanted to be with and couldn't date anymore. I'm a very sexual person, and just the thought of liking someone and not being able to express it physically would make me feel bad. Also, I felt like telling someone I have herpes would be a huge turn off and no guy would like to have anything to do with me anymore. I've noticed that is not so! I already told 3 guys and they didn't show any signs of it being a deal for them. First guy is a friend of benefits I've had for a while, I told him one night we went out and I thought he would be freaked out, but he wasn't, he even wanted to have sex with me that night. We didn't have sex though, because I'm still afraid I might spread it and I don't want to do that. I'm not ready to have sex yet, but at least I know that by the time I am I won't be so easily rejected. 2nd guy I told this to was a guy I met at a club, we ended up making out and then he wanted to come over to my place, I told him no, and he became a bit insistent, so I told him I have herpes, thinking that would scare him off, and it didn't! He still wanted to come over to my place. He didn't though, because I didn't want to, but that left me feeling confident. So then there's this guy I've liked for a while, hadn't seen him in over a year but he would like everything I posted on facebook and that would remind me of him, I wanted to ask him out but didn't dare, I finally did when I had already contracted herpes but didn't know I had it. After the date we ended up coming back to my place and made out. Next day I was diagnosed. That very same day this guy wrote to me and asked me on a second date. I wanted to say yes, but instead I came out with an excuse of why it wasn't a good idea to date. I was so furious by the situation! But then, when I felt better with the fact that I have herpes, I contacted him again and told him I thought things better and I did want to go out. This was after my first two disclosures, so I was feeling confident, even though for moments I thought it'd all blow up in my face. I debated with myself when to disclosure, or even doing so. I thought: "we'll go out, we'll kiss, maybe he'll come over to my place, he'll think we'll have sex, and then I'm gonna give the news I have herpes and he'll be disgusted and maybe will want to leave and not even kiss me anymore." But I still decided to try it out. So, we went out, we ended up kissing on the date and I asked if he wanted to come over to my place. I told him we would only kiss and he was a bit confused by that but he agreed. Once in my place we were making out and he asked me why I didn't want to have sex, so I told him, very afraid of his reaction, and he barely had one! He kept on kissing me as if what I had said was totally normal. He even touched me down there, I think he wanted to do more than that but he was respectful of me not wanting to have sex. Two hours after he left he wrote to me asking me on a 3rd date! I realized herpes is not the deal breaker I thought it would be! Next step is actually having sex. I'm still too afraid of doing it though. But well, one step at a time :)

Hi everyone! A month ago I contracted HSV-2, since then I'm not having sex anymore but I've kissed. Last weekend I made out with a guy I met at a club and now, after being diagnosed HSV-2, I'm very paranoid of getting anything else, I've been very worried of having contracted HSV-1 because the area around my mouth and nose has been a bit itchy, now I see little tiny bumps. I should say that at the beginning of the year I had really bad perioral dermatitis (something you get for using too many cosmetic products) and it never really went away completely. The bumps look more like that, and I don't have cold sores, the guy I made out with didn't have cold sores either. But I'm so paranoid now I'm afraid I won't even feel like making out anymore, so just for the sake of having peace of mind, how likely is getting HSV-1 from kissing someone who has it but doesn't have any cold sores? Thanks!

I got herpes after having a one night stand with a guy, two days later I felt an itch on the anus area but I thought I had microtears since I had anal sex without lube. One week later I got together with a friend with benefits I had, we had had unprotected sex before but this time I insisted on using a condom, still, we touched each other a lot and didn't wash our hands right away. The next morning I began having pain and a couple of days later I found I had a couple of sores, now I know I was on the stage prior to an OB when I had sex with my friend. I wrote to him asking how he had been, fearing he would tell me he had an OB, but he said he had been perfectly fine. Some days later we met in person and he mentioned that he had been having terrible headaches. That night I told him I contracted herpes, he was very supportive and told me not to worry because he didn't have any genital symptoms or any other kind of symptoms other than the headaches. Still, I'm worried I spread the virus to him, but he has to wait 3 months to get a blood test, so I ask here to have a better notion of about this. Did anyone here experienced only headaches before being diagnosed? Thanks in advance!

@ash2018 yes, seconding this. Terri Warren has actually said this a number of times, one of the latest of which was just a couple of days ago in this thread: https://www.westoverheights.com/forum/question/positive-hsv2-1-5-2-days-after-possible-exposure/ "While OUTBREAKS can occur anywhere in the boxer shorts area, virus can be shed only from mucous membrane or very thin skin like the penis or anus. The buttocks, thighs and belly do not shed only there are lesions present as the skin is too thick for virus to get out." These are great news! Thanks so much for sharing!

I just found out last week that I have herpes HSV 2, didn't get much info from my doctor so I'm glad of having found this website. I read infection occurs when there's skin to skin contact. Now, I don't know exactly part part of the skin surrounding my genitals can infect someone else. I've only have one breakout and this was right outside my anus, just a little bump and a sore (I got infected after having anal sex). Once I have sex again I'll always use condoms, but just to be on the safe side, what happens if the skin of the other person rubs against my butt, vagina or pubis area? if I never get outbreaks there, does it mean they are safe? Or is can all the skin surrounding my genitals pass the infection? I hope it's not a silly question! Thanks in advance!

Thanks for replying! I feel relieved!

The blood test doesn't measure the virus. It measures antibodies your body produces in response to the virus. It can take up to 16 weeks for your body to produce enough antibodies to be detected by a blood test. If you have sores, a PCR swab test can give you a definitive answer much sooner. Thanks, this was very helpful!

I recently found out I have genital herpes and I'm concerned about kissing and oral sex could infect partners. Can I spread the virus through saliva? Does anyone know more about this? Thanks!

I recently experienced very mild herpes symptoms, just a little bump outside my anus and a little sore, after a week it already feels better. But I went to the doctor anyway, thinking it was a hemorrhoid, and he said it's herpes. The thing is I've read sometimes herpes is misdiagnosed and the symptoms could actually be of another STD, so I got a blood test just to rule that out. I got tested 2 weeks and a half after I had unprotected sex (and still have to wait a week for the results). Now I read that because of the incubation period you need to wait at least 4 weeks before getting tested, otherwise you might get a false negative. But how can the incubation period be so long if I already have an outbreak? Isn't the incubation period supposed to be within days to 2 weeks after infection? I'm really confused by all this, does anyone know more about how this works?