Princess83

@RegularGuy Thanks a bunch. We finally saw each other this wknd. As soon as we greeted each other, he told me how much he missed me and that we were not talking about "this". Lol. He told me he got tested though he drug his feet and now his results will be in this week. He reassured me that regardless of what the results showed, he would be here with me and that he wasn't leaving me. He told me that we would get through this together and that he sees me as the same woman. Our wknd was normal and great. I was a bit disappointed which I told him because I wanted to talk about this finally and then drop it. I guess since he has reassured me, I am ok. I pray that things continue to go on a positive path for us. I guess I should say I think he's processed things well because he still wanted me as always (tmi. Lol) and we don't use condoms. Things were just normal. I fell good about that though that he thinks I'm worth the risk even though those exact words weren't spoken. I started taking valtrex last Monday. Maybe that helps him to know that.

@RegularGuy I totally understand what you are saying. I don't know if I can find it in myself to give him the option of leaving me. I'd rather that be on him. I love him so much and this seems like such a minor thing for love. We've still only talked briefly and all he has said is he wasn't leaving me and it's not my fault so he's not nad at me either. We will finally see each other tonight and talk some things out. The dust has had time to settle and emotions aren't as high. I hope you and your girlfriend can get through this! How long have y'all been together? We are a year in a few days! I pray we both can continue loving relationships with the people we love.

Thank you so much @Hiking Girl. I pray everything comes together. He is stuck on the stigma, the embarrassment and that it's for life. He's not looking at how common and treatable it is or how hsv2 is the same as hav1 but just in a different place on the body. Yesterday he said he is just really nervous. He can't talk to anybody because of the embarrassment. I am praying he doesn't even have it. I also pray that he doesn't grow distant as u just spoke of. That's so hurtful and I love him with all my heart. Maybe if he doesn't have it, he can see that we can have a healthy relationship without him getting it. I'm going to start taking the pills even though I'm symptomless. I've read that helps the time of shedding.

So I found out last week that I have hsv2. I had told my current boyfriend that my ex had called and said he had it so I was getting tested. I was a mess and he was so supportive. I felt like he was the best man in the world with his calm and supportive reaction. I told him losing him was my biggest concern and he made it seem like that was nonsense. Fast forward 2 wks. My results came in and he did not react the same when I gave him the results. He said little and was kind of dry. He has pulled away since then telling me he is just in shock and needs time to process everything. He said he was initially trying to be optimistic when I first brought it up and support me. Now that he knows it's a reality for me, he knows he probably has it too since it's been almost a year. He's had no symptoms just as I have not. He's really taking it hard. I am having trouble with how much space and time I need to give him. I am used to talking to him daily. I'm dealing with the news of my positive results and the thought of losing the man I love. I feel rejected and it hurts. Though he tells me he just needs to take it all in and we will talk about it, I feel horrible. He doesn't even know for sure if he does have it. He says it would feel so weird right now to talk about it to me or anyone for that matter and he's just not ready. I sent him an info sheet on how common it is, transmission risks and how many don't even know they have it. I just need advice on how to help him handle this a little better considering I'm supposed to be giving him time to process it. He sees it as the end of the world I feel. After reading and doing some self education on it, it's REALLY NOT that serious. He said it's not like a cold and very serious to him. He's a nervous wreck. I want to be there for him, I want us to be there for each other. I love him and I fell alll alone. All I do is cry.

Some of my message didn't post.... So idk if I should send him info. Let him look stuff up himself. I did send two fact sheets in regards to transmission rates, how coin it is, 80% of people don't know they have it etc. Do I just give him space and let him direct things? I'm so scared. I feel like it was easier when it was just a possibility but now that it is so, it feels different. I'm the same woman. I wanted to apologize but for what? I didn't know! I was a responsible, caring adult and told him no matter how difficult it was! It's still so new to me too. I don't know how to feel right now. I'm terrified though. I love him so much. I don't want him to be mad at me. This was so embarrassing for me. ~sigh~ I'm so lost and scared right now cause though he was calm, he seemed low key disgusted with me.

So I finally got my results back. It took forever! So I'm officially a part of the club, I came back positive. I told my boyfriend tonight. He made me feel like he was mad at me in a way. He mostly listened and only said a sentence or two. I was in the process of saying "I don't know if u want to go get tested right away, meaning urgently or just in some available free time" but before I could get it all out he was already speaking. He said " well of course I'm going to get tested, that goes without being said". I told him he had just cut me off and I wasn't finished. I went on to tell him my dr gave me the specific test he needs to ask for. He then says " I'm sure my dr will know what to do and order". I just felt like he was irritated with me and my results

Thanks so much for your insight. I guess I should stop worrying about the things I can't control. Hopefully these results are here by Tuesday so I can move forward. He's a great guy and very supportive. I don't know what he's thinking though. I wish I did! I'm going to try to stay positive because all this worrying is gonna drive me crazy. Maybe he is processing what it will mean if I'm positive. I guess another layer of my worry stems from him not being in love with me. It seems so crazy to me and this is something I fight with myself in a regular. It's been 11 months and I am so in love with him. He moves slow and is very cautious with saying those words. We ar both out of failed, long term relationships. So I guess in my mind I'm thinking, well he's not in love with me and so this is going to make him hit the road. He cares about me deeply, actually me and my 4yr old son. He makes me FEEL loved but he hasn't said it. Why wold he stay with me if I have this and he doesn't love me?! I'm so great to him! He tells me I'm the best. He's so great to me! Idk, just more and more thoughts. ~sigh~

First off let's start off by saying I haven't gotten my results yet. I went to the dr one wk ago today because my ex called and said he had hsv2. I've been dating a great man for 11 months. I told him last Friday I got tested and there's a possibility. He was very soothing to me, very understanding and caring. In a nut shell told me I was silly for thinking he would leave me because of this. We did things all as normal the whole weekend. I actually forgot about it. Now fast forward exactly one week later. We haven't said one word about it since last Sunday. I told him once again losing him was my greatest fear. Hsv2 seems manageable although probably irritating. Transmission is low if a person knows they have it and is cautious. I told him if results were positive we could learn about if together and that I would take meds even though I've been symptom free so that I could protect him. He told me he understood and that he didn't want to put anymore pressure on me and that we would cross that road when we get there. Well I feel a slight shift in him. It could be nothing or if could be the beginning of everything if I'm actually positive. I feel like it's been just a little bit less attentiveness on his part. He's already pretty bad at responding to texts sometimes so it just seems to be another layer of something. I'm losing my mind. I don't know what to think, say or do. I want to ask him if we are ok. Do I need to prepare for him leaving me. Just saying that brings a stream of tears to my eyes because I love him with all my heart. I'm feeling so down. The UNKNOWN. Results are taking so long. I'm in limbo. I wish I was passed the results. In my heart and mind I feel like my results shouldn't matter. I'm still ME. Please help me make sense of this. Keep in mind it's very subtle changes in him but the stick out to me cause I know him. He's a very upfront person though so I hope it's nothing to do with this. He tells me all the time my thinking is going to get me in trouble one day. I over think and I think all the time!!

@ash2018 I'm sure we will both be ok and get all these things figured out. Thanks for being so supportive.

@ash2018 isn't it something how this virus just hides out in our bodies and then one day just magically appears. Mine hasn't appeared to my knowledge but I see so many things us women normally go through that could be it. Can't wait for these stinkin results so we can move on TOGETHER. I pray that u get all your signs figured out. My thing is if he hasn't had any symptoms, keep doing what u we're doing before u knew AND take the meds. Of course don't during ob. Glad you've had support.

Thanks ash. I pray that it continues in a positive direction. I can't imagine him not wanting e because of herpes. I'm still me. At the end of the day it's still scary though. I'm still waiting for my results.

So I told my bf of 11 months that I Possibly have hsv2 from my ex. My results will be in some time this week. I feel like I know the results will be positive. I was with my ex for 10 years and he tested positive while we were still together but because he is naive, he didn't tell me. I had tested neg in the past with a low low index value. But now the possibility is back. My bf took news well, comforted me, held me and told me it would be ok. Everything seemed normal. I could be paranoid, i definitely over think and I'm totally afraid. I'm wondering if he is trying to take everything in. Since he left yesterday, that night and this morning I've felt we're a little bit at a disconnect. He's still being nice etc, but maybe a little short. It could be because of other reasons unrelated. I'm just wondering how things go after a disclosure usually. I'm not even 100% if I have it yet so the fear seems a little silly. But I'm trying to prepare myself. After i get the results and if they divvy chance come back positive, what do I need to do to keep my bf at ease and not reject me. He told me he's not trying to put anymore pressure on me. I don't know if by pressure he means showing how he really feels about it or his fear. I'm just lost, worried and paranoid!

My dear bf took the news very well. It took me a while to get it out but as soon as he saw me he knew I had something on my mind. It was such a ton lifted off my chest. He was very supportive don't told me it wasn't my fault. He held me and comforted e as he always does. He did not seem too worried and he just said that this is life and things happen. I've fallen in love with the best man ever!

Thanks so much. It's like a roller coaster. One second I think I have it all together with what to say and then the next I'm so lost. He's the greatest guy I've ever ever met and I love him dearly. I have always been able to just talk to him. I tell him everything. I think I'm making this harder than it actually has to be. I think for the most part it's the fear of the UNKNOWN. I don't even know if I have it. I don't know how he will accept it. I don't know where it will leave us. I would say I don't know what to expect for ob but I've been so clear down there that's one of my least worries. I know it's very manageable. Praying for him to have an open mind and continue to care for me the way that he does.

Thanks HikingGirl. I know the last time in my preganance they were low.HSV1 was like .90 or something in that range and hsv2 was 1.4 or something I that range. I'm a basket case sitting here right now. This is the happiest that I have been in my life and to think I may have to tell my dear bf that I have HSV2 scares me. That's really the main fear I have right now. The HSV2 with higher positive vale would be a shock but if I have it it's at least 2.5 almost 3 yrs. I haven't had anything noticeably wrong going on down there. So I can live with that. Reading how managageable it is and you can't die for it. It's just a skin infection. It all sees pretty easy to deal with. It's the attatvhed stigma. But I can't lose the love of my life. That's my fear. He's a great guy. Very calm tempered. Very loving. Non judgmental. So I just need a way to break the possibility to him tonight.

Thanks so much for that. I did tell him last night that I had a drs appt today but I did not tell him details. It was late, he was study and trying to get to bed and I didn't want him worrying all day at work. I will see him tonight and plan on telling him. I actually already had this drs appt set but when my ex said the things he said, I knew I would include std testing etc. So did I already mess up for not telling him details of appt??! I love this man with all my heart. I'm going to feel terrible if I have it and given it to him. I will say that I have not been effected if I am positive so that's good. This is so new to me. My ex is a manipulator and compulsive lier. I can see him trying to destroy any relationships that make me happy. That's his full agenda I think.

So I'm confused. How do you have antibodies for hsv1 and 2 but still be considered negative due to the low index value? Please shed some light for me.

So I'm going in to get tested for hsv today. My ex has told me that he has it. I had a previous scare in my pregnancy because my ex was getting cuts. I talked to my dr and she vaginally checked me and found nothing. She ran a blood test and HSV1 and 2 were positive but of low index. She classified it as a negative reading. I was nervous though about possibly having it right at the time of delivery of my baby. She put me on pills to put me at ease last 3 wks or so of preganancy. I was tested up to a year after and results were in the same general range. First check 2013. Last check was 2014. Now my ex tells me few days ago he tested long time ago and is positive. I feel like he is taunting me and wants my relationship to fail. So now I'm very nervous. I never had any ob that I know of although I have read they can be subtle. How do I bring this up to my wonderful bf of 11 months. I don't want him to feel like I've cheated, or known and lied etc.. I'm a nervous wreck though. I see the plus side of my situation being that if I do have it, it's old and hasn't caused me any known issues. Telling this man that I love dearly that I may have it and exposed him is not sitting with me very well. PLEASE PLEASE HELP!