Wildflowerbumblebee

Thank you so much for that thoughtful and helpful comment, and yes, he is very anaxious and has a very busy life :(

I have been recently diagnosed with HSV2, I can assume who had given this to me and it took 2.5 years for my first outbreak. 3 or 4 weeks ago I was seeing my new love interest and we had sex, protected and unprotected. I was not feeling well, I think it was an outbreak, I had no lesions but swollen lymph nodes and fever. After I left his house, the day after, I had a feeling to get a herpes test, because rumors started coming back to me about how my ex was HSV2 positive and the swollen lymph nodes were scaring me. A week and a half goes by, and after the fact we had slept together, I discover I have herpes2. I strongly believe I passed it on to him, and it is killing me. I have known of my diagnosis for a week now. I had no idea of this diagnosis while sleeping with him and I havent slept with him since. I am not ashamed of having herpes, and I am comfortable disclosing it prior to intercourse for the rest of my life, but I am extremely broken over having to look this wonderful man in the eyes and tell him I likely gave him a disease. We arent in love, we arent a couple, and I know he is going to feel terrible. I feel like I just ruined this mans life. I'm planning on telling him in person, in 5 days. I have only had 3 sex partners in my life, and I feel like I don't deserve to have to go through this, I feel like I did not earn herpes. And I feel like a monster, because another innocent person may be infected. I really don't want to tell him. I regret getting the test, because ignorance would have been bliss. I keep searching the internet hoping I will find an article about how it would be okay to just neglect telling him , but I want to tell him and I know I must. I get mad because there are many people who are HSV2 + in my town and never say anything about it. I tell myself "nobody else mentions it so why do I have to be the hero" I want to spare him from the pain I went through from finding out, I don't even care if he calls me filthy and dumps me, I care that I could have potentially ruined a beautiful life. I say that because I had everything going for me, good job, for, beautiful, kind, responsible, and this diagnosis had put me out of work for a mental health leave, out of school, and I cant even find the will to bathe or eat. Ignoramce would have been bliss. And I am afraid to tell him because I regret getting tested, if I could go back in time I would rather be the innocent 80% that doesn't know. And I know he would be happy on the ignorance is bliss train too. Please help me, I know I have to tell him, but he will be so distraught that it could cost him his job and his will to live too.