Kaem6

Hi everyone, I have really bad health anxiety and about a month ago I had myself convinced that I had HIV...no I had no reason to think that no exposure nothing like that. It was just stuck in my head. I decided that instead of worrying myself sick over it that I should judt get tested for everything. I ordered a test through STD express.com and went to the lab the next day. When I got the results back I was pretty shocked to find out that I was negative for everything besides HSV1. I have never had any symptoms of it by my mouth or my genitals but, I was really freaked out and still am. I am just waiting and dreading the day I find out whether I have it orally or genitally. I am also super paranoid to give it to my son. I know he has been exposed to this before as my mom gets cold sores and he goes to daycare but, I am more scared that he will get it from me if I have it genitally. I wash the toilet after each time I use it and wash the bathtub after I shower. I have heard that you cant get it through water but what about from the bottom of the bathtub? What if he uses the toilet right after me? I also make sure any towel I use is not left out for fear that he would grab it and use it(we don't share towels but he is 3 he doesn't care where he wipes his hands or face.) I am still so paranoid that he will somehow get it. I do not know how to live my life normally or how I will ever have any healthy relationships in the future. I feel like a gross diseased person.