jlkb

Thanks Ladies. Update. He got tested, and while we were waiting for the results, talked every night and then had an amazing date. He is negative but we have been dating still and while I think part of him is still little scared he said he realizes the risk is super low and he wants to continue this because he likes me and enjoys my company. My only fear is that he will get it. We obviously will use protection but I worry that there will be some asymptomatic shedding. I have had H1 for over 17 years so according to research the shedding will be almost never but it still scares me. Any thoughts?

@HikingGirl thank you for your words of comfort. I spoke with the guy last night and he is taking a test. He said basically the same thing in not so many words. He likes me a lot but is concerned that if this doesn't work out what will happen if he got it. I tried to reassure him that I was more than this virus and the risk is super low. He said he understood that but that relationships fail and he worries that he would get it etc. The sad thing is we then talked about everything and anything for 2 hours after that. I know everyone has a right to their own opinion but I think he is being really narrow minded. Am I wrong? HSV1 is so common and while no it isn't fun to have I feel it is common and not something that is super risky. My head is a mess. We are seeing eachtother again sunday and will wait for his test results. In my heart I know that this is going to end and that I want someone who wants me no matter what, but this is hard. Thanks so much!

Hello I am new to the forum and am a mess. My story goes like this. I was 19 (am currently 36 and newly divorced) when I contracted HSV1 genitally. The guy knew and didn't tell me and acted like it was no big deal when I got it. I went into a depression, felt alone, and damaged from the stigma of it. Not to mention one of my so called friends blabbed my status at a college party one night and made things worse. Relationships I have had have been ok, and the shame has never gone away. I know scientifically that it is a common virus, with over 50% of the population getting it by age 50. It is simply a skin condition. I can say this all rationally, but the societal stigma of it is gut wrenching. So fast forward to now (other partners have not been scared off, my ex husband never performed oral though because he said "he didn't want people knowing our dirty laundry") Anyway, I was recently dating again. Met this amazing guy and we connected. It was so intense and wow. I knew in the back of my head I was going to have to tell him, and it was sickening. I have never dealt well with rejection and my self image bc of this disease has not been good. During our third date, we were having such an amazing time, and I could tell things might get a little physical. Not to the point of intercourse but I knew I needed to tell him. I got emotional told him that in 17 years I had 4 outbreaks, no one I was ever with had gotten it and it was something that had little risk. I thought he was fine with it and we continued our evening which was amazing. The next day he said he was worried that if he did get it how would that affect his life if we ended. I tried to talk to him about it telling him what I knew again, and reassure him and he felt a little better. I was emotional and so was he. I thought it was ok and then he calls me saying he had the greatest night of his life last night and while this was amazing he just couldn't take the risk. I was stunned. I was sick, and I do not know what to do to deal with this hurt and rejection. He shared that he had a drinking problem in the past and he was sober and I told him I could accept that. It hurts like hell to know that someone can say all these great things about you and then when they hear this they bolt. Will it ALWAYSbe like this? How do I work through the emotional toll this takes so that when I present it to people they don't flake? Is everyone a flaker? Any help would be much appreciated!!!