Suzy1220

I did a horrible thing. I didn’t disclose GH prior to intimate contact. And I know. It’s wrong. I called the next day to tell him. I cried and said the truth, I’m not shamed of having herpes but am ashamed of not disclosing and that I was so sorry . We didn’t use condoms. He said thank you for letting me know and that he’d get tested. I felt horrible and went to get a standard STD panel the next day including a pelvic exam which was triggering for me since I’ve been raped before and had a rape kit done then which causes me to shake during pelvic exams. Everything can back negative and I let him know. 1 week post incident he texts me that he had his first outbreak. He is panicking and thinks he’ll never have kids and of course I am to blame for this. He has a lot of misinformation about the condition bc he thinks he can transmit it through kisses which since I don’t have oral herpes he couldn’t have gotten from me, hence no kissing transmission. I told him that he can still live a healthy normal life, explained how it’s a benign skin condition, sent him three diff locations of where to get tested and treated in his area, apologized profusely but he hasn’t responded to my texts. I also let him know how there’s a high chance he’s been exposed before and to get on medications right away to make the OB shorter. I feel like the worst person in the world for not disclosing and now infecting him. He and i had been friends for over 6 years and I care for him so much. Living with herpes hasn’t been a big deal for me but i can’t live with this guilt and shame of what i did to someone I care for. I had never not disclosed to another partner. How do I continue living? I called the national suicide hotline earlier today bc i feel like the worst person in the world and don’t want to live like this. If anyone has gone through the same please tell me how I can continue living...