LostConfused25

My Significant Other (SO) have been to gether for four years, and we have a 2 year old. We recently went on vacation and he passed H on to me. It took him 5 days before he told me that he had it. He told me that hes had it for the past 15+ years and that he never told me because he didnt want me to leave him. He said he had an outbreak while we were on vacation and we had sex, and thats how he gave it to me. Im so confused and i have so many feelings about everything that has taken place. I feel betrayed, i dont trust him, and i feel hurt. He is deeply apologetic and has accepted full responsibility for his actions. Im not thrilled with having H, however there is nothing i can do to Not have it. I just dont know how i feel about trusting him. I wanted to have another child, and i cant bare the thought of passing this on to my child. At this point, i feel he is capable of anything and it makes it difficult to trust him. We've been talking about these different things and it seems are perspectives are different, he's upset that he wasnt thinking and passed H to me. Im upset that in 4 years, he disnt tell me he had it. We could have helped each other get through this and avoided this feeling altogether. I just think hes very selfish., but then in the same breath, im angry at myself because i feel like i should have asked more questions or asked him if he ever had an STD like this. ((Deep sigh)) some support would be greatly appreciated as i havent disclosed to anyone close that i have this.