FLGator25

50andSad, sorry I’m just getting back to you. We are still together but it has been a really tough road. We are in couples counseling but I’m not sure if it’s helping us or not. I seemed to be energized by it but she is indifferent. I am having a really hard time with the uncertainty. Some of the positive though are that our relationship has gotten more honest and we are working on things. She is having a hard time seeing me as a good guy. She thinks I’m like all the other guys out there that have just did what ever that had to do to get what they want. I know I’m not that but it is hard to argue other wise. Sorry this isn’t postive but it’s what is really going on. I’m hanging in there. I love this women. I will post if something changes.

CM, thank you for your response. I did find your post from before. I am trying to look at the similarities and not the differences. The reason for my lack of disclosure was fear. Fear of being rejected, fear of being alone, and fear of losing this amazing women that I had met. I was in such a strange place durning my divorce and I made very poor descions based on emotions or really not feeling them. Our relationship has grown into an amazing one. We were good on almost all levels. We are a team. I love her dearly. That is partly why this was eating me up in side. I just came out with it and it was a durning a time when both of us had a lot on our plate. I just added to that. I know how to do the work and take care of myself. I do see a therapist and do work around my thoughts and emotions so I know what to do. I just am hurting. And I feel guilty for even hurting because she has to be going through it even worse than I am. I don't know if she can forgive me. She looked at me with disgust. I don't blame her. I am kind of paralyzed right now with the uncertainty. I am just ranting at this point. Thank you for your experience and perspective. It truly has helped me.

Thank you. I needed that. I have noticed that you are very interactive on this site and answer most of the post on here so thank you. You are doing a tremendous service and I'm sure you not looking for a pat on the back but I am grateful for you.

HikingGirl, thank you for your response. My results are HSV 2 IgG: 4.38. That is all it says. I'm not sure if that helps or not but based on what you said earlier, I defiantly have it. I feel like a complete animal. Who does this? I'm really disgusted with myself. Thank you for not passing judgement and reaching out to me.

I came to this this site to find some hope and I have found myself feeling even worse. I did not disclose that my ex wife had HSV-2 to my current girlfriend and love of my life till a coupe days ago. We have been together for 3 years. She is devastated. And on top of it, I told half truths and made the situation even worse by not being forth coming. I really screwed up. It's one of the biggest mistakes I have made in life. I am a piece of sh*t. I have had many opportunities to disclose over the course of the 3 years. In the beginning I didnt disclose because I was afraid of being rejected. I don't have out breaks so I told myself that she would be fine. She asked me flat out in the beginning and I told her I was good. I had never really been tested because my ex and I shared the same doctor and he told me that I may have it but couldn't confirm till I had the out break. That never happened so when dating someone new after my divorce I just told myself that I didn't have it. I was ashamed, scared of being rejected and insecure. I was just out of a 9 year marriage and I wasn't thinking clearly. It was selfish. One of the most selfish things I have ever done. I had multiple other opportunities to tell over the past 3 years but chose not to. I just stuffed it and acted as if I didn't have it. I keep some Valtrex in my work bag and one fell out the other day. She found it and asked me what it was and I lied and said I didn't know. A few moments went by and I just came out with it. I didn't want to hide this from her anymore. She was devastated and still is. She feels betrayed and says there is no way I love her if I did this to her. I have completely violated her trust. I can not believe I did this. She hasn't had a chance to get tested yet but I have and my blood test came back stating that I test positive for HSV-2. Its was explained to that means that I have been exposed at some point to HSV-2. I am praying she comes back negative. I just want to be supportive and I don't know how too. I know the picture I painted of myself here is not a good one but I am a good man. I love her so much. I don't know if one can recover from this. I have done a dishonest thing here but I have good values. I'm going to lose her and I guess I deserve that. I'm not sure why I posted this but if anyone has had similar experiences I would love to hear some hope right now. I am not handling this well.